I am Bipolar 1 and usually in remission for about 5 years after these I go mad for 1-2 years. It's always a struggle to go back to work in the beginning I told

I am Bipolar 1 and usually in remission for about 5 years after these I go mad for 1-2 years. It's always a struggle to go back to work in the beginning I told lies like I was backpacking in xyz or just a work and travel year here and it usually worked. After enough rodeos I just was open about it and it worked out better than expected. The biggest part is to get over your nostalgia in Greek the literal translation is returning pain. You have to forgive yourself or it will always come back haunting you. PS: I am not a pdoc but experienced with psychosis myself, it sounds like you experienced a Grandeur Delusion with hallucinations get that checked out.