I'm one of those weird assholes who, after having read this, will have it instantly jolted back into my awareness in the unfortunate event I ever go overboard,

I'm one of those weird assholes who, after having read this, will have it instantly jolted back into my awareness in the unfortunate event I ever go overboard, causing me to zip my fly when I should be fighting for my life. And yes, I do own a ocean-going vessel.