I did terribly at my first degree. I was just more interested in partying. I did not manage to get such a great job as you have landed, and I was in the wilde

I did terribly at my first degree. I was just more interested in partying. I did not manage to get such a great job as you have landed, and I was in the wilderness for quite a few years. Eventually, after building myself back up from nothing, I got better and better jobs. Eventually I did an MSc which I was accepted into as I could demonstrate I was capable. I worked hard at it, and got a distinction. So all I can offer to you is that things are not as terrible as they may seem now. Failure can be a great motivator if you learn the right lessons from it rather than indulging in beating yourself up. As an aside, you may genuinely have depression and should seek advice on how to deal with that. I have suffered with anxiety problems too, and seeking help is half the battle.