Sounds like those early "failures" are weighing on you and becoming baggage. You're a successful hacker (full stack at a decent commercial shop) and judging you

Sounds like those early "failures" are weighing on you and becoming baggage. You're a successful hacker (full stack at a decent commercial shop) and judging yourself a little too harshly. Is it maybe through the eyes of someone _else_ who wanted you to get the CS degree? (It's not uncommon for me to see students with an invisible/imaginary mother or father still in the frame, declaring their 'disappointment') BTW, philosophy is the "master science". I had to work my way up to it after doing CS/EE. With 30 years of on/off academic experience at dozens of institutions I can tell you, none of those institutions are really fit to judge you. Modern universities have become a certificate racket. That's not to suggest you reject the knowledge good professors can give you, or devalue what a coherent CS programme can bring - but seriously you have a lifetime to self-study these as soon as you stop fretting about validation. Hope you see brighter horizons soon.