I think you may be wrong that the CS degree would have prepared you in such a way that the job would seem less hard. CS degrees are not exactly structured for j

I think you may be wrong that the CS degree would have prepared you in such a way that the job would seem less hard. CS degrees are not exactly structured for job preparation. ("software engineering" degrees may be). You possibly got as much practice/experience programming from the internships and hackathons as you would have either way. But, and this may not be true I don't know you, I'm just suggesting maybe... It may be that programming does not come as easily to you as it does to some people. You may not be as "naturally talented". This may be why you found the CS degree hard too (while it doesn't prepare you for a job programming exactly, it does involve programming and being naturally talented at programming makes it easier; and the other things it involves, being naturally talented at them may be correlated with being naturally talented at programming). This doesn't mean you can't do it, and can't learn to do it. You, after all, have succesfully gotten a job! And you've succesfully gotten actually a really well-paying job (right?). That is great. You actually kind of made it! You should legit be proud of yourself! It's just ended up... still harder than you wanted it to be. But also, I think any new job, especially your first job in a new field, has a period of feeling overwhelmed. It still happens to me in new jobs working on brand new codebases/platforms/languages even after many years in this career -- and is part of why I'm reluctant to switch jobs, which is not great for my career! People who succeed will get get over that at a new job, but lots of people who succeed start there, that's what new jobs can be like. So it also may be that you are just totally typical and as good at programming as anyone, just starting a new job is hard! Going back to school is still going to be hard, like it was last time -- maybe even overwhelming. It's not a way of getting out of overwhelming or hard things, you found that out last time! So one question is: Do you actually like programming? Do you love it? In all that school, internships, hackathons, anything else, did you have any experiences where you really enjoyed and loved writing code? If so... then probably stick with it, and see if you can get over the hump? See if you can learn to get better at -- learn to accept or even enjoy -- doing hard things? Doing hard things is hard! For everyone. (I hate it! I wish I hated it less!) It's also an important life skill. And something you can get better at. With practice, with the help of a therapist or life coach, a bunch of other ways. If you don't and have never actually enjoyed programming, you were just trying to get into a good field... and are now finding that the job doing it is making you miserable... you may want to start considering other careers, even knowing they may be less money. There's no hurry, you can still wait it out at your job and see if it gets better if you can get over the hump. But if school was miserable, you even didn't find much joy in those hackathons or internships, and the job is also miserable... what about this career (other than the money) attracts you? If only the money... either it's tolerable enough for the money, or it isn't. Also, you say you are genuinely depressed. Are you seeing a therapist? Please try it out! It's possible you are depressed and would be regardless of your job (there are a lot of depressed people and a lot to be depressed about right now) and it's not really about your job at all. It's also possible it is about your job, in small or large part. Either way, for any of this, please consider seeing a therapist!