7 ms·

I honestly cannot believe this. The porn part, the make me a smoothie request, dating dinners. This guy seriously paid people to sit behind him and didn't even

I honestly cannot believe this. The porn part, the make me a smoothie request, dating dinners. This guy seriously paid people to sit behind him and didn't even think about them stealing his $1000 monitors until after the fact? He didn't try blocking any non productive sites? No productivity software? No pomadoro technique-esq focus methods? This guy should have paid $88/hour for therapy if we are being honest here

sberens 4y ago
Therapy would take away productive time :) I did actually use my own custom built productivity tools to block websites[0], and I used ActivityWatch[1] to track my time. [0] https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/webblock/jeahkphmdfbddenabgndnooheiciocka https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/webblock/jeahkphmd... [1] https://activitywatch.net/ https://activitywatch.net/
- sam1r 4y ago
  Did you ever consider building your own custom tools? Or based on the ones custom you described aforementioned, which features or tools do you wish you had on top of it? Just curious, and I respect the setup thus far.
  - sberens 4y ago
    Yeah I built that chrome extension I linked (WebBlock). ActivityWatch is great for single device tracking, but I wish there was a tool for multi-device tracking and also away-from-device tracking (tracking gym, sleep, etc...) that integrated all of the data into one place and made it easily accessible. My use case is pretty niche though :/
    - fragmede 4y ago
      Have you considered a Fitbit or similar device?
      - nebulousthree 4y ago
        The post shows data collected from a fitbit regarding sleep quality
- philosopher1234 4y ago
  > Therapy would take away productive time :) 1 hr a week for most people. Give up 1 of your 100 unproductive hours instead lol.
- viraptor 4y ago
  > Therapy would take away productive time :) I'm not sure if that's a joke, or not. But if you sincerely mean it - I put it away for years and now I feel like an idiot for wasting a lot of my time fighting rather than actually addressing my issues. This would've been the most productive time investment I could've done a decade earlier.
  - theonething 4y ago
    On the other hand, I've seen a handful of therapists, three of them for longer than six months and really, they've done zilch for me. A waste of money in hindsight. Reading helpful books and really applying the good ones (for me) has helped me more while costing way less, aka bibliotherapy [1] That's great that therapy worked so well for you, but don't make it out to be a panacea for everyone. [1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5788928/#:~:text=Bibliotherapy%20has%20been%20found%20to,mental%20health%20problems%20among%20adults.&text=Gould%20and%20Clum32%20reviewed,for%20three%20depression%20bibliotherapy%20studies https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5788928/#:~:tex...
    - blackshaw 4y ago
      > Reading helpful books and really applying the good ones (for me) has helped me Which books do you recommend?
      - pitched 4y ago
        From the article linked: > The most common books used were Feeling Good and Helping Your Anxious Child: A Step by Step Guide.
    - Apocryphon 4y ago
      It’s not a panacea but it’s probably worth at least trying before dismissing it out of hand. Much like going to see any doctor.
      - dyno12345 4y ago
- chrisandchris 4y ago
  I think, it's quite obvious where the "productivity" goes: > In the morning session, I did yoga, went to the gym, started two blog posts, and did some work for my job. If it's the 5th you mention, it's just not that important?
  - sberens 4y ago
    My desire to increase my productivity was not solely (or largely) driven by doing better at my job; I find it's relatively easy to be productive if you go into the office. I mainly wanted to get a lot of side projects/hobbies done.
    - safety1st 4y ago
      I'll just leave this here - when remote/junior contractors have a focus issue we simply require them to use software which screenshots their desktop at random intervals during work hours. This usually revolves the issue, if it doesn't, we start actually looking at the screenshots from time to time and providing feedback. It's a cheap and simple solution to the problem of people spending half their work hours puttering around on Twitter etc.
      - bigbillheck 4y ago
        > we simply require them to use software which screenshots their desktop at random intervals during work hours What a horrible thing to do.
        chrisandchris 4y ago
        I'm all against employee surveillance but I actually would take part in that for several reasons: - It's business devices, so there should be no private stuff in any of the screenshots. - It's screenshots, so it's just a point-in-time. There's no way to determine how long a sequence was. For both sides. - The rule seems to be that it should just set boundaries. There's no proactive monitoring. They only seem to look at the screenshots if productivity does not raise. Obviously, lower intervalls may be problematic. If there are maybe 15-30 screenshots a day, I don't see any issue (for me).
- hutzlibu 4y ago
  While working out your data, have you considered, that you were basically doing a long sprint? Meaning, I am pretty sure, your effective productivity would have declined after the month, with assistants, or not. And that you got Covid, might be a clear sign of that.
- SanjayMehta 4y ago
  Yoga takes away "productive time" too.
  - dymk 4y ago
    So does eating and sleeping
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
jonathanyc 4y ago
I clicked on the "About" page and learned that the author is 21. For a minute that made the experiment make more sense. Then it stopped making sense again.
- Sakos 4y ago
  I'm more confused by these comments. Like, he's 21. This is an interesting experience and a great story to tell. Sounds like money well-spent and I'm glad he's experimenting in unusual ways. That's what makes life interesting and worth living. Some of my most memorable and valuable memories stem from bad decisions or experimenting with different ideas that might be dumb. Some of you need to touch grass.
  - philosopher1234 4y ago
    This man is insane. He'd rather oppress himself at great expense than spend any time at all actually thinking about where his problems come from (and why its so important to him to "all work and no play"). Perhaps there's a reason "touch grass" is on the tip of your tongue.
    - Sakos 4y ago
      > Perhaps there's a reason "touch grass" is on the tip of your tongue. You mean aside from the fact that people are insulting this guy for trying something that doesn't hurt anybody or affect anybody else? You just called him insane. For what exactly? And why do you think that's okay for you to do? Touch grass, bro.
      - philosopher1234 4y ago
        Because he is insane. I’m calling a spade a spade.
    - greenrd 4y ago
      He doesn't sound like was oppressed. If I introspect my thoughts about this experiment, I feel like if I did it, I would feel oppressed - but on the other hand I don't feel oppressed by being around my manager and knowing he could look over my shoulder at any point in time. That's just a normal part of working in an office, and it's kind of cringe and naive to view that as oppression. It just isn't. And this kind of arrangement would be even less bad than that, because I would be ultimately their boss and able to fire them, so they wouldn't be able to impose any kind of restrictions on me that I didn't choose for myself, unlike my actual boss. Also, he has gone so far as to create his own productivity tool, so it seems like he has invested some time and effort into trying to reach his productivity goals prior to this experiment.
d0zome 4y ago
The scant photos in the blog post are not convincing enough for me. I'm calling it fake.
- moffkalast 4y ago
  You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and tell lies? Smh, what a world.
- sberens 4y ago
  I wish I was good enough of a fiction writer to fake this :/
  - joxel 4y ago
    Do you think having a girlfriend application on your page makes any sense? Is it a joke? Or are you just that self absorbed and insane?
    - monkey_monkey 4y ago
      Yes (to him). No. Yes.
- twelve40 4y ago
  I don't care either way actually, it was weird, fun to read and kind of thought-provoking
SunghoYahng 4y ago
Some people don't respond to any treatment. I am one of them. If I were rich, I'd be the one writing and posting about this topic.
1270018080 4y ago
If he did that, then this blog and the clicks he is getting wouldn't exist.
Aaronmacaron 4y ago
He's got a 'Date Me' button on his website which takes you to a Google Form where you can apply to be his girlfriend. I can't decide if this makes the blog post more or less believable. Could it be that he's just a satirical character and doesn't really exist?
- tryauuum 4y ago
  holy fuck it's smart
  - sph 4y ago
    I mean... to each their own.
    - tryauuum 4y ago
      If you want to attract the kind of girl who doesn't mind to fill a google form to get a date, that's the best course of action
- Aperocky 4y ago
  This is in line with the content of the blog post and make me believe it is real. Author may have certain degrees of narcissistic personality, but I am no doctor or psychiatrist.
- noduerme 4y ago
  The "apply to date me" form is something I've seen done in the past by female influencers (or whatever it's called when the line between influencer and sugarbaby is blurred). Everyone's hustling these days. The money flow seems to still go in the same old direction where man flaunts wealth and woman flaunts beauty (not saying this to be sexist; I wish it weren't so, but here we are). It's crude and distasteful and transparent and makes you think about all the animal display bullshit that still goes into the propagation of our species, but not really any more or less so than a DJ saying "hey babe, come over and check out my record collection".
tacotacotaco 4y ago
Maybe I’m too cynical but it just seems performative. It seems like any number of YouTube videos where some financially well off influencer spends their money doing something awkward to attract views. And it worked. Here we are gawking at the latest stunt. Like and subscribe. Don’t forget to smash that bell. Check out my patreon for access to my Discord.
- fragmede 4y ago
  Oh no! The person I'm watching wanted to be watched! Wait, what?
  - t-writescode 4y ago
    I feel like this perspective is missing the point. A lot of what we see on the internet nowadays is pornography. It has no point at all except to be a spectacle and to generate conversation and views and to keep the person watching - thereby getting ads, thereby getting money. I see a lot of this on TikTok nowadays; and, if my YouTube feed were less curated, I'd probably see it there, too. It's the food videos where someone makes an absolutely terrible meal out of 8 whole fast-food burgers, covered in fries, then honey, then mashed potatoes; or the videos where someone makes a mess with spaghetti and sauce in their hands and then puts it in the oven. Once I got this perspective on a lot of video content, I could see it basically everywhere.
    - Apocryphon 4y ago
      Yeah, I think the moralism or existentialism or whatever of “what is real and what is a performance or simulation?” aside, something that is taught as part of an exaggerated performance inherently makes it less objective. It’s fine as entertainment, but questionable as education.
- cactusplant7374 4y ago
  This is a guy that has a "Date Me" link on his website that links to a google form. He seems quite unique.
LegitShady 4y ago
He's got effective altruism and defi in his about me page - if he isn't a made up character he might as well be.
- greenrd 4y ago
  "Date me" pages are actually quite popular in the effective altruist community, so this makes me update against him being a fictional character.
dan-robertson 4y ago
The article strikes me as an amount of weirdness within the normal range for ‘rationalism’ people. And the guy literally links to a website-blocker he develops. I guess his being weird doesn’t particularly bother me. I liked that the post was frank and (seemingly) honest. Doing that sort of experiment and writing about it seems basically fine to me. Maybe he’ll be able to contrast it with other things, like maybe having one extra hour of productive work is worse than using the same amount of hours more productively by eg avoiding blunders.
travisjungroth 4y ago
I doubt this 0%. I’ve hired people just to help me focus and also to help with chores. To me, this is someone with the same job in the same city as me just taking what I’ve done two steps further. Literally nothing in that post is unbelievable to me, including the behavior of the people he hired. In the first paragraph he did mention tools for focusing, saying he went as far as making his own.
- capableweb 4y ago
  > I’ve hired people just to help me focus and also to help with chores But were those people the same? Usually have have one type of person for each purpose, one psychologist/therapist to help you figure out why you can't focus and then one cleaner that helps you keep a tidy house.
  - doubled112 4y ago
    I'm not sure everybody needs a psychologist/therapist but I'd be willing to bet most would benefit from somebody to talk to (or even at) If you ramble on long enough and your maid starts to answer and ask questions, are they a makeshift therapist?
    - capableweb 4y ago
      > If you ramble on long enough and your maid starts to answer and ask questions, are they a makeshift therapist? If all you think a therapist does is just answering and asking questions, you should maybe see a therapist and experience it for yourself ;) Joking aside, the struggle of loneliness can probably be helped by having just somebody to talk to, though not in a professional setting. But if you're constantly having trouble focusing, it could be a sign that something is amiss. Personally, sometimes I get affected by things in my social environment without really noticing it, just that things gets less interesting and that I'm being less productive than usual. A therapist can help you realize those things, while friends will usually be more supportive rather than trying to actively combat your "inside problem", as they have their own. Could also be that some sort of medication can be helpful for you. I have some friends who didn't realize that suffered from ADHD until they were 30-40 years old, and having access to medication and therapy helped them a lot. A therapist can again help you realize if you need/don't need this.
mindslight 4y ago
The idea seems decently self-aware to me. All the systems and techniques in the world can't compensate for poor discipline, and social accountability is a strong pull. The porn thing was most likely a generic "mind your own business" non-response. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBE4262nxkE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBE4262nxkE
SMAAART 4y ago
Don't let the truth come in the way of a goods blog post that makes it to the front page of HN.
eertami 4y ago
> didn't even think about them stealing his $1000 monitors They would be doing him a favour I think, considering the complete crime against ergonomics that monitor setup is.
drewrv 4y ago
I’m certain she wasn’t actually watching porn. It’s a pretty common joke answer to say “porn” when someone asks what you’re browsing and you don’t want to share. The fact that the author seems to take it as genuine adds to the bizarre nature of this blog post though!
- dosethree 4y ago
  yep. An awkward terrible joke to cover up whatever she was doing - social media, messaging, or looking up her employer
  - sph 4y ago
    "Come on dude, were you on TikTok again?!" "No! No! It was porn I swear!"
- greenrd 4y ago
  >I’m certain she wasn’t actually watching porn. I think you're too certain about that. She has no responsibilities other than some occasional chores and keeping an eye on what he's doing. Maybe she thought looking at porn surreptitiously would be OK, on that basis. And I'm going to anticipate the "but women don't watch porn!" objection and counter with - no, some do. E.g. some bisexual women, some trans women... With her comment about "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" it's also possible she was trying to seduce him at the start and was sexually frustrated when he didn't pick up on that...
jmcqk6 4y ago
Where are you finding therapy for $88/hour?

sberens 4y ago

Therapy would take away productive time :) I did actually use my own custom built productivity tools to block websites[0], and I used ActivityWatch[1] to track my time. [0] https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/webblock/jeahkphmdfbddenabgndnooheiciocka https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/webblock/jeahkphmd... [1] https://activitywatch.net/ https://activitywatch.net/

sam1r 4y ago
Did you ever consider building your own custom tools? Or based on the ones custom you described aforementioned, which features or tools do you wish you had on top of it? Just curious, and I respect the setup thus far.
- sberens 4y ago
  Yeah I built that chrome extension I linked (WebBlock). ActivityWatch is great for single device tracking, but I wish there was a tool for multi-device tracking and also away-from-device tracking (tracking gym, sleep, etc...) that integrated all of the data into one place and made it easily accessible. My use case is pretty niche though :/
  - fragmede 4y ago
    Have you considered a Fitbit or similar device?
    - nebulousthree 4y ago
      The post shows data collected from a fitbit regarding sleep quality
philosopher1234 4y ago
> Therapy would take away productive time :) 1 hr a week for most people. Give up 1 of your 100 unproductive hours instead lol.
viraptor 4y ago
> Therapy would take away productive time :) I'm not sure if that's a joke, or not. But if you sincerely mean it - I put it away for years and now I feel like an idiot for wasting a lot of my time fighting rather than actually addressing my issues. This would've been the most productive time investment I could've done a decade earlier.
- theonething 4y ago
  On the other hand, I've seen a handful of therapists, three of them for longer than six months and really, they've done zilch for me. A waste of money in hindsight. Reading helpful books and really applying the good ones (for me) has helped me more while costing way less, aka bibliotherapy [1] That's great that therapy worked so well for you, but don't make it out to be a panacea for everyone. [1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5788928/#:~:text=Bibliotherapy%20has%20been%20found%20to,mental%20health%20problems%20among%20adults.&text=Gould%20and%20Clum32%20reviewed,for%20three%20depression%20bibliotherapy%20studies https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5788928/#:~:tex...
  - blackshaw 4y ago
    > Reading helpful books and really applying the good ones (for me) has helped me Which books do you recommend?
    - pitched 4y ago
      From the article linked: > The most common books used were Feeling Good and Helping Your Anxious Child: A Step by Step Guide.
  - Apocryphon 4y ago
    It’s not a panacea but it’s probably worth at least trying before dismissing it out of hand. Much like going to see any doctor.
    - dyno12345 4y ago
chrisandchris 4y ago
I think, it's quite obvious where the "productivity" goes: > In the morning session, I did yoga, went to the gym, started two blog posts, and did some work for my job. If it's the 5th you mention, it's just not that important?
- sberens 4y ago
  My desire to increase my productivity was not solely (or largely) driven by doing better at my job; I find it's relatively easy to be productive if you go into the office. I mainly wanted to get a lot of side projects/hobbies done.
  - safety1st 4y ago
    I'll just leave this here - when remote/junior contractors have a focus issue we simply require them to use software which screenshots their desktop at random intervals during work hours. This usually revolves the issue, if it doesn't, we start actually looking at the screenshots from time to time and providing feedback. It's a cheap and simple solution to the problem of people spending half their work hours puttering around on Twitter etc.
    - bigbillheck 4y ago
      > we simply require them to use software which screenshots their desktop at random intervals during work hours What a horrible thing to do.
      - chrisandchris 4y ago
        I'm all against employee surveillance but I actually would take part in that for several reasons: - It's business devices, so there should be no private stuff in any of the screenshots. - It's screenshots, so it's just a point-in-time. There's no way to determine how long a sequence was. For both sides. - The rule seems to be that it should just set boundaries. There's no proactive monitoring. They only seem to look at the screenshots if productivity does not raise. Obviously, lower intervalls may be problematic. If there are maybe 15-30 screenshots a day, I don't see any issue (for me).
hutzlibu 4y ago
While working out your data, have you considered, that you were basically doing a long sprint? Meaning, I am pretty sure, your effective productivity would have declined after the month, with assistants, or not. And that you got Covid, might be a clear sign of that.
SanjayMehta 4y ago
Yoga takes away "productive time" too.
- dymk 4y ago
  So does eating and sleeping

deleted 4y ago

[deleted]

jonathanyc 4y ago

I clicked on the "About" page and learned that the author is 21. For a minute that made the experiment make more sense. Then it stopped making sense again.

Sakos 4y ago
I'm more confused by these comments. Like, he's 21. This is an interesting experience and a great story to tell. Sounds like money well-spent and I'm glad he's experimenting in unusual ways. That's what makes life interesting and worth living. Some of my most memorable and valuable memories stem from bad decisions or experimenting with different ideas that might be dumb. Some of you need to touch grass.
- philosopher1234 4y ago
  This man is insane. He'd rather oppress himself at great expense than spend any time at all actually thinking about where his problems come from (and why its so important to him to "all work and no play"). Perhaps there's a reason "touch grass" is on the tip of your tongue.
  - Sakos 4y ago
    > Perhaps there's a reason "touch grass" is on the tip of your tongue. You mean aside from the fact that people are insulting this guy for trying something that doesn't hurt anybody or affect anybody else? You just called him insane. For what exactly? And why do you think that's okay for you to do? Touch grass, bro.
    - philosopher1234 4y ago
      Because he is insane. I’m calling a spade a spade.
  - greenrd 4y ago
    He doesn't sound like was oppressed. If I introspect my thoughts about this experiment, I feel like if I did it, I would feel oppressed - but on the other hand I don't feel oppressed by being around my manager and knowing he could look over my shoulder at any point in time. That's just a normal part of working in an office, and it's kind of cringe and naive to view that as oppression. It just isn't. And this kind of arrangement would be even less bad than that, because I would be ultimately their boss and able to fire them, so they wouldn't be able to impose any kind of restrictions on me that I didn't choose for myself, unlike my actual boss. Also, he has gone so far as to create his own productivity tool, so it seems like he has invested some time and effort into trying to reach his productivity goals prior to this experiment.

d0zome 4y ago

The scant photos in the blog post are not convincing enough for me. I'm calling it fake.

moffkalast 4y ago
You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and tell lies? Smh, what a world.
sberens 4y ago
I wish I was good enough of a fiction writer to fake this :/
- joxel 4y ago
  Do you think having a girlfriend application on your page makes any sense? Is it a joke? Or are you just that self absorbed and insane?
  - monkey_monkey 4y ago
    Yes (to him). No. Yes.
twelve40 4y ago
I don't care either way actually, it was weird, fun to read and kind of thought-provoking

SunghoYahng 4y ago

Some people don't respond to any treatment. I am one of them. If I were rich, I'd be the one writing and posting about this topic.

1270018080 4y ago

If he did that, then this blog and the clicks he is getting wouldn't exist.

Aaronmacaron 4y ago

He's got a 'Date Me' button on his website which takes you to a Google Form where you can apply to be his girlfriend. I can't decide if this makes the blog post more or less believable. Could it be that he's just a satirical character and doesn't really exist?

tryauuum 4y ago
holy fuck it's smart
- sph 4y ago
  I mean... to each their own.
  - tryauuum 4y ago
    If you want to attract the kind of girl who doesn't mind to fill a google form to get a date, that's the best course of action
Aperocky 4y ago
This is in line with the content of the blog post and make me believe it is real. Author may have certain degrees of narcissistic personality, but I am no doctor or psychiatrist.
noduerme 4y ago
The "apply to date me" form is something I've seen done in the past by female influencers (or whatever it's called when the line between influencer and sugarbaby is blurred). Everyone's hustling these days. The money flow seems to still go in the same old direction where man flaunts wealth and woman flaunts beauty (not saying this to be sexist; I wish it weren't so, but here we are). It's crude and distasteful and transparent and makes you think about all the animal display bullshit that still goes into the propagation of our species, but not really any more or less so than a DJ saying "hey babe, come over and check out my record collection".

tacotacotaco 4y ago

Maybe I’m too cynical but it just seems performative. It seems like any number of YouTube videos where some financially well off influencer spends their money doing something awkward to attract views. And it worked. Here we are gawking at the latest stunt. Like and subscribe. Don’t forget to smash that bell. Check out my patreon for access to my Discord.

fragmede 4y ago
Oh no! The person I'm watching wanted to be watched! Wait, what?
- t-writescode 4y ago
  I feel like this perspective is missing the point. A lot of what we see on the internet nowadays is pornography. It has no point at all except to be a spectacle and to generate conversation and views and to keep the person watching - thereby getting ads, thereby getting money. I see a lot of this on TikTok nowadays; and, if my YouTube feed were less curated, I'd probably see it there, too. It's the food videos where someone makes an absolutely terrible meal out of 8 whole fast-food burgers, covered in fries, then honey, then mashed potatoes; or the videos where someone makes a mess with spaghetti and sauce in their hands and then puts it in the oven. Once I got this perspective on a lot of video content, I could see it basically everywhere.
  - Apocryphon 4y ago
    Yeah, I think the moralism or existentialism or whatever of “what is real and what is a performance or simulation?” aside, something that is taught as part of an exaggerated performance inherently makes it less objective. It’s fine as entertainment, but questionable as education.
cactusplant7374 4y ago
This is a guy that has a "Date Me" link on his website that links to a google form. He seems quite unique.

LegitShady 4y ago

He's got effective altruism and defi in his about me page - if he isn't a made up character he might as well be.

greenrd 4y ago
"Date me" pages are actually quite popular in the effective altruist community, so this makes me update against him being a fictional character.

dan-robertson 4y ago

The article strikes me as an amount of weirdness within the normal range for ‘rationalism’ people. And the guy literally links to a website-blocker he develops. I guess his being weird doesn’t particularly bother me. I liked that the post was frank and (seemingly) honest. Doing that sort of experiment and writing about it seems basically fine to me. Maybe he’ll be able to contrast it with other things, like maybe having one extra hour of productive work is worse than using the same amount of hours more productively by eg avoiding blunders.

travisjungroth 4y ago

I doubt this 0%. I’ve hired people just to help me focus and also to help with chores. To me, this is someone with the same job in the same city as me just taking what I’ve done two steps further. Literally nothing in that post is unbelievable to me, including the behavior of the people he hired. In the first paragraph he did mention tools for focusing, saying he went as far as making his own.

capableweb 4y ago
> I’ve hired people just to help me focus and also to help with chores But were those people the same? Usually have have one type of person for each purpose, one psychologist/therapist to help you figure out why you can't focus and then one cleaner that helps you keep a tidy house.
- doubled112 4y ago
  I'm not sure everybody needs a psychologist/therapist but I'd be willing to bet most would benefit from somebody to talk to (or even at) If you ramble on long enough and your maid starts to answer and ask questions, are they a makeshift therapist?
  - capableweb 4y ago
    > If you ramble on long enough and your maid starts to answer and ask questions, are they a makeshift therapist? If all you think a therapist does is just answering and asking questions, you should maybe see a therapist and experience it for yourself ;) Joking aside, the struggle of loneliness can probably be helped by having just somebody to talk to, though not in a professional setting. But if you're constantly having trouble focusing, it could be a sign that something is amiss. Personally, sometimes I get affected by things in my social environment without really noticing it, just that things gets less interesting and that I'm being less productive than usual. A therapist can help you realize those things, while friends will usually be more supportive rather than trying to actively combat your "inside problem", as they have their own. Could also be that some sort of medication can be helpful for you. I have some friends who didn't realize that suffered from ADHD until they were 30-40 years old, and having access to medication and therapy helped them a lot. A therapist can again help you realize if you need/don't need this.

mindslight 4y ago

The idea seems decently self-aware to me. All the systems and techniques in the world can't compensate for poor discipline, and social accountability is a strong pull. The porn thing was most likely a generic "mind your own business" non-response. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBE4262nxkE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBE4262nxkE

SMAAART 4y ago

Don't let the truth come in the way of a goods blog post that makes it to the front page of HN.

eertami 4y ago

> didn't even think about them stealing his $1000 monitors They would be doing him a favour I think, considering the complete crime against ergonomics that monitor setup is.

drewrv 4y ago

I’m certain she wasn’t actually watching porn. It’s a pretty common joke answer to say “porn” when someone asks what you’re browsing and you don’t want to share. The fact that the author seems to take it as genuine adds to the bizarre nature of this blog post though!

dosethree 4y ago
yep. An awkward terrible joke to cover up whatever she was doing - social media, messaging, or looking up her employer
- sph 4y ago
  "Come on dude, were you on TikTok again?!" "No! No! It was porn I swear!"
greenrd 4y ago
>I’m certain she wasn’t actually watching porn. I think you're too certain about that. She has no responsibilities other than some occasional chores and keeping an eye on what he's doing. Maybe she thought looking at porn surreptitiously would be OK, on that basis. And I'm going to anticipate the "but women don't watch porn!" objection and counter with - no, some do. E.g. some bisexual women, some trans women... With her comment about "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" it's also possible she was trying to seduce him at the start and was sexually frustrated when he didn't pick up on that...

jmcqk6 4y ago

Where are you finding therapy for $88/hour?