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For men I first ask how old they are and if they say "early twenties" I clue them in on the fact that it feels like every man is trying to date a woman in her e

For men I first ask how old they are and if they say "early twenties" I clue them in on the fact that it feels like every man is trying to date a woman in her early twenties. You are competing with men who have established lives, assets, etc and that's a difficult place to be I think that there may be a big cultural and economic factors to this. This was definitely not the case when I was in my early twenties (West Europe). Early twenties people dated early twenties people. Girls definitely weren't interested in 'assets'. The primary upward age dating I saw was around 14-16, because girls are generally mentally mature earlier than boys.

willcipriano 4y ago
That's possible, I'm in the US and you are in for a rough ride if you choose a man who can't earn to start a family with here. Even things like parental leave are only really available over a certain income.
- microtonal 4y ago
  Interesting. Pretty much everyone can earn enough for a family here and everyone is entitled to parental leave. Besides that, we don’t consider it to be only men’s responsibility to earn, women can, do, and want to work as well. So, money is not really a consideration in dating.
  - willcipriano 4y ago
    That makes sense. Here men have kept a lot of the traditional responsibilities they have had historically, it's just become a unspoken thing rather than something you say out loud. A relatively lengthy (but not all that uncommon in Europe, say 1 year) period of unemployment on the part of the man often leads to divorce, men feel a lot of pressure not only to provide but to provide what their wives see on Instagram and the like. Come to think of it, I personally avoided a lot of this myself by not marrying a American. Not intentionally of course but that probably explains why I'm not as pressured as my peers.
barelyauser 4y ago
I've been to some places in Asia with the same dating dynamics. But make no mistake, when women are in their late twenties, they will not settle for for a man without assets. The closer they get to thirties the harder they seek for security and a stable long term proposal.

willcipriano 4y ago

That's possible, I'm in the US and you are in for a rough ride if you choose a man who can't earn to start a family with here. Even things like parental leave are only really available over a certain income.

microtonal 4y ago
Interesting. Pretty much everyone can earn enough for a family here and everyone is entitled to parental leave. Besides that, we don’t consider it to be only men’s responsibility to earn, women can, do, and want to work as well. So, money is not really a consideration in dating.
- willcipriano 4y ago
  That makes sense. Here men have kept a lot of the traditional responsibilities they have had historically, it's just become a unspoken thing rather than something you say out loud. A relatively lengthy (but not all that uncommon in Europe, say 1 year) period of unemployment on the part of the man often leads to divorce, men feel a lot of pressure not only to provide but to provide what their wives see on Instagram and the like. Come to think of it, I personally avoided a lot of this myself by not marrying a American. Not intentionally of course but that probably explains why I'm not as pressured as my peers.

barelyauser 4y ago

I've been to some places in Asia with the same dating dynamics. But make no mistake, when women are in their late twenties, they will not settle for for a man without assets. The closer they get to thirties the harder they seek for security and a stable long term proposal.