I had the same demons in past. It's highly individual so can't be recommended but for me switching to: - first to flupirtine which is legal in my country. It

I had the same demons in past. It's highly individual so can't be recommended but for me switching to: - first to flupirtine which is legal in my country. It has "liver toxicity" but .. ha! comparing to alcohol it's less toxic - and then to some ..khm.. illegal drugs worked.