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If there are less cases of abuse than among generic populace, it is weird to blame the movement. From the article, it is hard to understand that EA is somehow w

If there are less cases of abuse than among generic populace, it is weird to blame the movement. From the article, it is hard to understand that EA is somehow worse than most of the USA. Also, arguments for polyamory are just that, arguments. You certainly can press someone into it, but from the article, the impression that it is more like persuasion. Regarding cult dynamics - any tight knit community feels like this. Be it psychedelics users, health nuts, athletes etc etc. All of these will have takes that outsiders will consider unusual and weird.

pdonis 4y ago
> arguments for polyamory are just that, arguments Which have nothing whatever to do with effective altruism. So it's perfectly reasonable for a person who came to a gathering expecting to talk about effective altruism, to be uncomfortable, to say the least, when she finds herself getting proselytized about polyamory.
- olliecornelia 4y ago
  It’s never who you want to be polyamorous who’s polyamorous.
  - fshbbdssbbgdd 4y ago
    Correction: The people you want to be polyamorous don’t need to go around recruiting partners.
- theragra 4y ago
  I agree in principle, but isn't it like this often for any activity? People talk, sometimes about sensitive or offensive topics. RN, i encounter people around me that have very strong opinions about war in Ukraine. Sometimes it comes to direct insults, and while this is unfortunate, i won't say some group is responsible. Specific person is responsible for their actions.
andrewflnr 4y ago
> If there are less cases of abuse than among generic populace Where are you getting this?
- amanaplanacanal 4y ago
  They might be saying that this is a series of anecdotes, not a scientific study, so we don’t know.
  - matthewdgreen 4y ago
    Does anyone think there are teams of scientists going around documenting the number of sexual abuse cases in every community? Pretty much what we get are anecdotes. And the correct comparison here is not “society at large” but rather, comparable professional organizations or interest groups.
zozbot234 4y ago
Arguments for polyamory are also regarded as grossly unprofessional in any environment that's focused on a specific goal. Most people don't want to be goaded by strangers into "arguing" about their relationship status. It's abusive.
ketzo 4y ago
> but from the article, the impression that it is more like persuasion. Okay -- but if you showed up to a tech conference, and someone in the hallway was trying to "persuade" you to join a threesome, would you feel that was appropriate for the setting? The issue is that so much of this relationship-and-sex talk is happening to people who didn't think they had signed up for it. That's where you start verging on abuse. I think part of the issue is that EA is: - kind of life-defining by nature - filled with people who seek self-improvement - filled with people who are excellent persuaders With that mix, it is uncomfortably easy to start "mixing business with pleasure," so to speak. People in that environment think that they live a really interesting and good life, and want to convince others of that fact. That's why people are blaming the movement, I think.
acc_297 4y ago
Yeah but the woman interviewed wasn’t saying men in Sam Francisco kept asking her to be in their polycule she said men in EA groups kept asking her to be in their polycule I mean nobody has ever asked me to be in their polycule or anyone else I know so multiple times per year from people in these EA discussion groups is statistically significant and is pretty creepy
rTX5CMRXIfFG 4y ago
> You certainly can press someone into it You’re not supposed to persuade people into any arrangement that lets you access their bodies unless they explicitly indicated that they are open to being persuaded, and especially not when they are being flown over for what’s supposed to be a job interview, or any form of meeting up with the promise of an academic or a professional collaboration. > but from the article, the impression that it is more like persuasion Sorry but you don’t know that, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who does not get that impression either. There are enough comments in this entire thread about how people believe things only to justify the terrible things that they do.
thot_experiment 4y ago
Having been part of the rat/EA community in the bay area for over a decade I can 100% confirm that the incidence of weird sex stuff happening is far far above of the baseline I've experienced with other groups of people, and i tend to keep odd company. Not some sort of scientific study but also the only set of people where I've been casually asked if I wanted a prostate massage at a house party. The norms around here just hit different. I'm not mad about it, and I think I've personally never felt harassed and in general there seems to be a very explicit consent culture, but also weird sex stuff is so normalized that it must be easier for bad actors, especially clever ones to get away with abusive behavior.
- cactusplant7374 4y ago
  Off topic: Your photogrammetry project is really cool!
deathclassic 4y ago
Of course these dipshits needed to be polyamorous their little community was like 70% dudes, their clearly wasn't enough pussy to go around. Of course, this would cause more problems than it solved - having been in a poly relationship before I can tell you firsthand that the number of issues in the relationship scale n! for n people involved in the relationship.

pdonis 4y ago

> arguments for polyamory are just that, arguments Which have nothing whatever to do with effective altruism. So it's perfectly reasonable for a person who came to a gathering expecting to talk about effective altruism, to be uncomfortable, to say the least, when she finds herself getting proselytized about polyamory.

olliecornelia 4y ago
It’s never who you want to be polyamorous who’s polyamorous.
- fshbbdssbbgdd 4y ago
  Correction: The people you want to be polyamorous don’t need to go around recruiting partners.
theragra 4y ago
I agree in principle, but isn't it like this often for any activity? People talk, sometimes about sensitive or offensive topics. RN, i encounter people around me that have very strong opinions about war in Ukraine. Sometimes it comes to direct insults, and while this is unfortunate, i won't say some group is responsible. Specific person is responsible for their actions.

andrewflnr 4y ago

> If there are less cases of abuse than among generic populace Where are you getting this?

amanaplanacanal 4y ago
They might be saying that this is a series of anecdotes, not a scientific study, so we don’t know.
- matthewdgreen 4y ago
  Does anyone think there are teams of scientists going around documenting the number of sexual abuse cases in every community? Pretty much what we get are anecdotes. And the correct comparison here is not “society at large” but rather, comparable professional organizations or interest groups.

zozbot234 4y ago

Arguments for polyamory are also regarded as grossly unprofessional in any environment that's focused on a specific goal. Most people don't want to be goaded by strangers into "arguing" about their relationship status. It's abusive.

ketzo 4y ago

> but from the article, the impression that it is more like persuasion. Okay -- but if you showed up to a tech conference, and someone in the hallway was trying to "persuade" you to join a threesome, would you feel that was appropriate for the setting? The issue is that so much of this relationship-and-sex talk is happening to people who didn't think they had signed up for it. That's where you start verging on abuse. I think part of the issue is that EA is: - kind of life-defining by nature - filled with people who seek self-improvement - filled with people who are excellent persuaders With that mix, it is uncomfortably easy to start "mixing business with pleasure," so to speak. People in that environment think that they live a really interesting and good life, and want to convince others of that fact. That's why people are blaming the movement, I think.

acc_297 4y ago

Yeah but the woman interviewed wasn’t saying men in Sam Francisco kept asking her to be in their polycule she said men in EA groups kept asking her to be in their polycule I mean nobody has ever asked me to be in their polycule or anyone else I know so multiple times per year from people in these EA discussion groups is statistically significant and is pretty creepy

rTX5CMRXIfFG 4y ago

> You certainly can press someone into it You’re not supposed to persuade people into any arrangement that lets you access their bodies unless they explicitly indicated that they are open to being persuaded, and especially not when they are being flown over for what’s supposed to be a job interview, or any form of meeting up with the promise of an academic or a professional collaboration. > but from the article, the impression that it is more like persuasion Sorry but you don’t know that, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who does not get that impression either. There are enough comments in this entire thread about how people believe things only to justify the terrible things that they do.

thot_experiment 4y ago

Having been part of the rat/EA community in the bay area for over a decade I can 100% confirm that the incidence of weird sex stuff happening is far far above of the baseline I've experienced with other groups of people, and i tend to keep odd company. Not some sort of scientific study but also the only set of people where I've been casually asked if I wanted a prostate massage at a house party. The norms around here just hit different. I'm not mad about it, and I think I've personally never felt harassed and in general there seems to be a very explicit consent culture, but also weird sex stuff is so normalized that it must be easier for bad actors, especially clever ones to get away with abusive behavior.

cactusplant7374 4y ago
Off topic: Your photogrammetry project is really cool!

deathclassic 4y ago

Of course these dipshits needed to be polyamorous their little community was like 70% dudes, their clearly wasn't enough pussy to go around. Of course, this would cause more problems than it solved - having been in a poly relationship before I can tell you firsthand that the number of issues in the relationship scale n! for n people involved in the relationship.