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If I'm reading this correctly, you mostly gave up those hobbies once you had kids. I want to encourage you to do them anyways, and find a way to include them.

by _yb2s 4y ago

If I'm reading this correctly, you mostly gave up those hobbies once you had kids. I want to encourage you to do them anyways, and find a way to include them. I'm a single dad, and bring my toddler son on tons of outdoor adventures, and it is really good for both of our mental health, and reduces our stress a lot.

PragmaticPulp 4y ago
I do several hobbies that require a significant time investment. I heard a lot of “you’ll have to give that up when you have kids” when I was younger. Then I actually had kids. It’s true that I can’t go do these hobbies every single weekend or wait until the last second to plan a spontaneous outing without preparing. However, it’s not true that they simply stop and become impossible. It takes a different approach to planning and prep, but it can be done. It’s also interesting to learn how many of the other hobbyists also have kids. Before kids I just assumed everyone else was childless like myself, but it turns out a lot of people who do these hobbies also have kids at home once you talk to them.
watwut 4y ago
Being outdoor with toddler is incomparable with being on adult hike or skiing or climbing. It just gets frustrating cause you see what you could do before and can't now.
- okr 4y ago
  You went skiing with a toddler?
  - watwut 4y ago
    First, my post does not imply that. Second, yes I have seen people doing that. They can be taught apparently.
    - okr 4y ago
      It is a pity. I liked the image of it.
      - watwut 4y ago
        It looks kinda like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDWEVhTbzPs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDWEVhTbzPs But, you know, not the same fun as when you go down on your own speed and have actual skiing fun.
        okr 4y ago
        That is cute. I would always worry about the joints and bones, because there is not much muscle yet and everything is still in the making. But then again, if i see, what toddlers all do and not break apart, i should be optimistic. Thanks for the video!
- _yb2s 4y ago
  I don’t agree with this at all. First, it sounds like you are too focused on you own experience. Focus on being a good parent and giving them a good experience, and you will have a better time also. Second, I did more outdoors with a toddler than most people would even believe. It took a lot of planning, and was very physically demanding but was worth it. Some examples: -serious backpacking and hiking trips in remote places, mostly carrying them in an osprey child carrier pack, but having them walk as much as they can -long, remote kayaking trips in a double kayak -multi day boating trips exploring uninhabited islands and beaches together Check out “outdoor boys” on YouTube for some examples of really serious outdoor adventures with toddlers.
  - watwut 4y ago
    The experience of adult is literally topic of the discussion. Second, no, when I focus on being good parent, I still did not had skiing fun when doing it with small child. Second, I did not said impossible. I said it is entirely different experience. And it is. It is family experience and not sport adventure experience. Most of the time you spend supervising the kid and focusing on that. You don't spend that time the same way as when you are adult and can actually relax, actually raise own adrenaline and so on.
    - _yb2s 4y ago
      I really hate to be this confrontational and negative online, but you have a negative attitude that is unbecoming of someone that is a parent and a leader, with little ones depending on and looking up to them. I was the same when I was a new parent, and I had to fix this for my son's sake. My point is that the experience as an adult is better once you fully embrace the parenting role, stop resenting the fact that you aren't by yourself, and look for what is possible to do together. The attitude of comparing yourself as a parent to a solo person and longing for being solo is a really destructive narrative that will lead you to resenting instead of enjoying parenting, and make it impossible to be present as a good parent. Yes, parenting is much harder, and you can't do the same things... but you can grow as a person, and do different things, that are often even more awesome- especially in regards to extreme outdoor sports. Doing difficult outdoor sports with a young kid is the ultimate challenge, and requires you to cultivate a level of badass not needed or even possible as a solo person. I can see how what you are saying is probably true for downhill skiing, but I certainly have been able to relax, get a serious workout, and raise my adrenaline doing other outdoor adventures with young kids. It's key to be able to carry their weight physically with your own body when they get tired, so that you are limited only by your own physical fitness, just like when you are solo only harder. I get this is probably not safe for downhill skiing- but can work with a sled (x-country ski), kayak, hiking, etc.

by _yb2s 4y ago

PragmaticPulp 4y ago

I do several hobbies that require a significant time investment. I heard a lot of “you’ll have to give that up when you have kids” when I was younger. Then I actually had kids. It’s true that I can’t go do these hobbies every single weekend or wait until the last second to plan a spontaneous outing without preparing. However, it’s not true that they simply stop and become impossible. It takes a different approach to planning and prep, but it can be done. It’s also interesting to learn how many of the other hobbyists also have kids. Before kids I just assumed everyone else was childless like myself, but it turns out a lot of people who do these hobbies also have kids at home once you talk to them.

watwut 4y ago

Being outdoor with toddler is incomparable with being on adult hike or skiing or climbing. It just gets frustrating cause you see what you could do before and can't now.

okr 4y ago
You went skiing with a toddler?
- watwut 4y ago
  First, my post does not imply that. Second, yes I have seen people doing that. They can be taught apparently.
  - okr 4y ago
    It is a pity. I liked the image of it.
    - watwut 4y ago
      It looks kinda like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDWEVhTbzPs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDWEVhTbzPs But, you know, not the same fun as when you go down on your own speed and have actual skiing fun.
      - okr 4y ago
        That is cute. I would always worry about the joints and bones, because there is not much muscle yet and everything is still in the making. But then again, if i see, what toddlers all do and not break apart, i should be optimistic. Thanks for the video!
_yb2s 4y ago
I don’t agree with this at all. First, it sounds like you are too focused on you own experience. Focus on being a good parent and giving them a good experience, and you will have a better time also. Second, I did more outdoors with a toddler than most people would even believe. It took a lot of planning, and was very physically demanding but was worth it. Some examples: -serious backpacking and hiking trips in remote places, mostly carrying them in an osprey child carrier pack, but having them walk as much as they can -long, remote kayaking trips in a double kayak -multi day boating trips exploring uninhabited islands and beaches together Check out “outdoor boys” on YouTube for some examples of really serious outdoor adventures with toddlers.
- watwut 4y ago
  The experience of adult is literally topic of the discussion. Second, no, when I focus on being good parent, I still did not had skiing fun when doing it with small child. Second, I did not said impossible. I said it is entirely different experience. And it is. It is family experience and not sport adventure experience. Most of the time you spend supervising the kid and focusing on that. You don't spend that time the same way as when you are adult and can actually relax, actually raise own adrenaline and so on.
  - _yb2s 4y ago
    I really hate to be this confrontational and negative online, but you have a negative attitude that is unbecoming of someone that is a parent and a leader, with little ones depending on and looking up to them. I was the same when I was a new parent, and I had to fix this for my son's sake. My point is that the experience as an adult is better once you fully embrace the parenting role, stop resenting the fact that you aren't by yourself, and look for what is possible to do together. The attitude of comparing yourself as a parent to a solo person and longing for being solo is a really destructive narrative that will lead you to resenting instead of enjoying parenting, and make it impossible to be present as a good parent. Yes, parenting is much harder, and you can't do the same things... but you can grow as a person, and do different things, that are often even more awesome- especially in regards to extreme outdoor sports. Doing difficult outdoor sports with a young kid is the ultimate challenge, and requires you to cultivate a level of badass not needed or even possible as a solo person. I can see how what you are saying is probably true for downhill skiing, but I certainly have been able to relax, get a serious workout, and raise my adrenaline doing other outdoor adventures with young kids. It's key to be able to carry their weight physically with your own body when they get tired, so that you are limited only by your own physical fitness, just like when you are solo only harder. I get this is probably not safe for downhill skiing- but can work with a sled (x-country ski), kayak, hiking, etc.