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Adults don't care about impressing their peers by and large, whereas teenagers/young adults are singularly obsessed with it. At least I decided to stop caring

Adults don't care about impressing their peers by and large, whereas teenagers/young adults are singularly obsessed with it. At least I decided to stop caring about making it seem like I wasn't boring and I'm happier for it.

hotpotamus 4y ago
All of adult life seems like an elaborate status game to me.
- Loughla 4y ago
  Play a different game, then. I 100% see where you're coming from, and I know I've missed professional opportunities because I refuse to play that game. But. I know I'm happier that I can spend the weekend tromping around in the woods instead of dealing with whatever drama is currently happening at the Rotary Club or local Country Club. I know I'm happier that I can drink some beers with my neighbors instead of going to a wine mixer for whatever local 'name' is hosting one this weekend as a fundraiser. So I have to buy a new mid-sized or compact car instead of the huge stupid truck I would like, and I can't afford a lawn tractor to help with jobs around my property. So what? Do those things mean I'm not living to my fullest?
  - mattgreenrocks 4y ago
    I suspect many adults play status games to fill voids in their own small lives. This is seen as a socially acceptable and laudable thing to do. I loathe the fact that ambition is often filed down to one-dimensional idea of making lots of money, dominating others in the workplace, and generally succeeding in the business world. It's little wonder there's so many people are on anti-depressants.
_yb2s 4y ago
The authors book "The Elephant in the brain" argues that virtually all adult behavior is unconsciously about status seeking, while pretending and convincing ourselves that it is not. In that sense, it's not that this goes away as you get older, but it becomes more psychologically sophisticated, and less transparent.
- fullshark 4y ago
  Yeah I'm not above some status games, but I think I'm more conscious of when they matter v. not, and their actual tangible benefits on my life (i.e. promotion = money or new opportunities open professionally).
- solarmist 4y ago
  Avoiding meaningless displays of status seeking seems perfectly in line with that hypothesis.

hotpotamus 4y ago

All of adult life seems like an elaborate status game to me.

Loughla 4y ago
Play a different game, then. I 100% see where you're coming from, and I know I've missed professional opportunities because I refuse to play that game. But. I know I'm happier that I can spend the weekend tromping around in the woods instead of dealing with whatever drama is currently happening at the Rotary Club or local Country Club. I know I'm happier that I can drink some beers with my neighbors instead of going to a wine mixer for whatever local 'name' is hosting one this weekend as a fundraiser. So I have to buy a new mid-sized or compact car instead of the huge stupid truck I would like, and I can't afford a lawn tractor to help with jobs around my property. So what? Do those things mean I'm not living to my fullest?
- mattgreenrocks 4y ago
  I suspect many adults play status games to fill voids in their own small lives. This is seen as a socially acceptable and laudable thing to do. I loathe the fact that ambition is often filed down to one-dimensional idea of making lots of money, dominating others in the workplace, and generally succeeding in the business world. It's little wonder there's so many people are on anti-depressants.

_yb2s 4y ago

The authors book "The Elephant in the brain" argues that virtually all adult behavior is unconsciously about status seeking, while pretending and convincing ourselves that it is not. In that sense, it's not that this goes away as you get older, but it becomes more psychologically sophisticated, and less transparent.

fullshark 4y ago
Yeah I'm not above some status games, but I think I'm more conscious of when they matter v. not, and their actual tangible benefits on my life (i.e. promotion = money or new opportunities open professionally).
solarmist 4y ago
Avoiding meaningless displays of status seeking seems perfectly in line with that hypothesis.