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>>My kid is 10 and still doesn't know a single Youtuber by name Authentic curiosity - does your child not go to a normal school? In my experience you can liter

>>My kid is 10 and still doesn't know a single Youtuber by name Authentic curiosity - does your child not go to a normal school? In my experience you can literally detach your home from the internet and live without electricity, but the second your kids go to school they instantly know all the latest fads and videos and what not. To make it to 10 without being at least somewhat familiar with youtube through that exposure seems....almost impossible?

jahsome 4y ago
[flagged]
- einherjae 4y ago
  One can be right and pretentious at the same time.
  - sgdesign 4y ago
    HN's motto right there
- blitzar 4y ago
  If they have school age children and their children are unaware of these things (or at least the parents believe that to be true) then either the parents are dumb or their children are incredible at deceiving their parents and possibly showing early signs of being psychopaths.
  - watwut 4y ago
    Or just the kids learned parents react negatively when saying certain words and do not say them. That is not a sign of being psychopath, that is sign of being neurotypical.
    - blitzar 4y ago
      That sounds more like a parent that is totally disconnected from the reality of their child than a particularly deceptive child.
      - TeMPOraL 4y ago
        FWIW, if my memory is in any way accurate, 10 y.o. is about the age I stopped discussing a class of topics with my parent, after one too many times of me wanting to share something important and feeling ignored. My parents lost a window into a chunk of my life then, and honestly, never really regained to this day. It sounds stupid even to me now, but it's really not easy to fix such things at the age of 30+. Those emotional wounds were deep, even if in retrospect silly and unintentional. Deep enough to change how the 10 y.o. me saw himself in relation to the world. And I only first realized what happened around 18-20 y.o., by which time I was well used to never fully opening up in front of my family. It's like a "default setting" burned into the wetware at this point - something I have to consciously struggle to overcome even to this day. So yeah, it's likely a disconnected parent, not deceptive child. But "disconnected" tends to imply the parent doesn't care, which I don't think is the case either. Rather, like in my experience, the parent may care very much, but not achieve anything, because the connection has been severed, possibly accidentally, and neither the parent nor the kid are fully aware they've lost that link.
        watwut 4y ago
        I also kinda feel like that something like that might be normal part of growing up. I dont mean the deep emotional wound you talk about, but the fact that the kid has some own internal life the parent does not have access to. As in, even absent emotional wounds, a kid not reporting every thing schoolmates do, a kid having fantasies and interests the kid keeps for itself might just be part of growing up into adult. It is not being deceptive on the side of the kids. That framing implies adult are entitled to complete overbearing control and kid is not entitled to have private thoughts. It might be parent being untrustworthy or checked out or oblivious, but if not combined with emotional wounds it might be the kid becoming own person.
  - theshrike79 4y ago
    According to the logs the only devices that have accessed Youtube in the last week is the living room Apple TV and my laptop. If my kid, at 10 years old, has hacked my router and keeps actively deleting the relevant access and DNS logs, they have a future career in information security :D
    - blitzar 4y ago
      https://www.techdetoxbox.com/kids-bypass-parental-controls/ https://www.techdetoxbox.com/kids-bypass-parental-controls/ Some of the suggestions there are a bit dystopian - like locking your kids devices in a safe ... You are probably fairly safe at 10, for a year or two! "The poll, posted on Facebook by internet security vendor SmoothWall, found almost half (49 per cent) of 13-17 year olds admitted to using illicit tools to access blocked websites in school." https://www.itpro.co.uk/607677/kids-bypass-school-internet-security-controls https://www.itpro.co.uk/607677/kids-bypass-school-internet-s... (2008 - guessing that number is a little higher now that it was then)
- cmsj 4y ago
  Terribly sorry that giving a shit about raising our kids is offensive to you. I'd invite you to spend some time considering the difference between legacy childrens entertainment media and an algorithmically driven platform that has, at best, meagre ex-post-facto content moderation.
  - scotty79 4y ago
    Given the trends, YouTube is probably the mildest thing your kids will experience in their lifetime. Their lives will be shaped by crisis after crisis and their peers will be kids raised on YouTube. The best you can do is keep your kids as out of touch with environment they will lead their lives in as you are.
    - kelipso 4y ago
      Kids are going to be exposed to alcohol eventually so let's dose them with increasing amounts of alcohol as they grow up so they'll build up a resistance.
      - gambiting 4y ago
        I mean, I figure that you are being sarcastic, but it's absolutely a thing(not the physical resistance to alcohol, obviously, rather a psychological one) - in countries where kids are allowed(and it's socially acceptable) to have a little bit of alcohol with dinner there isn't suddenly a shock when they turn 18 and they can drink so they go on a binge because no one taught them responsibility with the drink. Look at the drinking culture in UK vs France for instance - it's a completely different approach.
      - scotty79 4y ago
        Internet is not optional for adults and it's not all bad as alcohol is at every age.
- theshrike79 4y ago
  If you really want to get your mind blown: We've never used a tablet just because a kid is bored. Children need to be able to handle boredom. If you need to hand over your phone to your toddler just to keep them calm, you've got some work to do. The amount of kids in strollers with a parent's phone in hand is just staggering. Or a tablet in the headrest for watching shows on any car trip over 15 minutes.
  - grugagag 4y ago
    Handing the phone to children all the time to pacify them has some costs down the line, their reward circuitry gets altered and not saying impossible to repair but not easy either. Kids and parents may suffer for it later on in their lives
- flanbiscuit 4y ago
  > for not daring to allow their precious children to hear the words you and tube The original commenter added more info in a reply in this thread that might've taken some of the steam out of this remark: > I haven't banned the kid from Youtube, just didn't specifically direct them there. Except for a few times. I think we looked up sign language tutorials (that was a big deal 3-4 years ago) and some drawing tutorials for watercolours. source: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34639799 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34639799
theshrike79 4y ago
Dunno if the school is a weird outlier, but none of my kid's friends are obsessed with Youtube influencers either. I haven't banned the kid from Youtube, just didn't specifically direct them there. Except for a few times. I think we looked up sign language tutorials (that was a big deal 3-4 years ago) and some drawing tutorials for watercolours. I think they see Youtube as a source for information instead of entertainment? At least that's my theory. Also: I'm not from a native english speaking country, so the amount of content is even more limited. Most of the local YT influencers are 100% insufferable.
- ryandrake 4y ago
  I think your kid's school is a weird outlier. [USA here] All my 10 year old and her friends talk about is YouTube, Minecraft, Roblox, Fortnight, and so on, but primarily YouTube because it's the one unifying entertainment everyone has in common. The girls think the boys are stupid for being obsessed with Fortnight, and the Minecrafters sneer at the Robloxers, but everyone can agree on YouTube.
prmoustache 4y ago
My kids know about youtube but that doesn't mean they are lost in it. If anything they'd rather watch the harry potter series 100x times before asking for generic youtube access.

jahsome 4y ago

[flagged]

einherjae 4y ago
One can be right and pretentious at the same time.
- sgdesign 4y ago
  HN's motto right there
blitzar 4y ago
If they have school age children and their children are unaware of these things (or at least the parents believe that to be true) then either the parents are dumb or their children are incredible at deceiving their parents and possibly showing early signs of being psychopaths.
- watwut 4y ago
  Or just the kids learned parents react negatively when saying certain words and do not say them. That is not a sign of being psychopath, that is sign of being neurotypical.
  - blitzar 4y ago
    That sounds more like a parent that is totally disconnected from the reality of their child than a particularly deceptive child.
    - TeMPOraL 4y ago
      FWIW, if my memory is in any way accurate, 10 y.o. is about the age I stopped discussing a class of topics with my parent, after one too many times of me wanting to share something important and feeling ignored. My parents lost a window into a chunk of my life then, and honestly, never really regained to this day. It sounds stupid even to me now, but it's really not easy to fix such things at the age of 30+. Those emotional wounds were deep, even if in retrospect silly and unintentional. Deep enough to change how the 10 y.o. me saw himself in relation to the world. And I only first realized what happened around 18-20 y.o., by which time I was well used to never fully opening up in front of my family. It's like a "default setting" burned into the wetware at this point - something I have to consciously struggle to overcome even to this day. So yeah, it's likely a disconnected parent, not deceptive child. But "disconnected" tends to imply the parent doesn't care, which I don't think is the case either. Rather, like in my experience, the parent may care very much, but not achieve anything, because the connection has been severed, possibly accidentally, and neither the parent nor the kid are fully aware they've lost that link.
      - watwut 4y ago
        I also kinda feel like that something like that might be normal part of growing up. I dont mean the deep emotional wound you talk about, but the fact that the kid has some own internal life the parent does not have access to. As in, even absent emotional wounds, a kid not reporting every thing schoolmates do, a kid having fantasies and interests the kid keeps for itself might just be part of growing up into adult. It is not being deceptive on the side of the kids. That framing implies adult are entitled to complete overbearing control and kid is not entitled to have private thoughts. It might be parent being untrustworthy or checked out or oblivious, but if not combined with emotional wounds it might be the kid becoming own person.
- theshrike79 4y ago
  According to the logs the only devices that have accessed Youtube in the last week is the living room Apple TV and my laptop. If my kid, at 10 years old, has hacked my router and keeps actively deleting the relevant access and DNS logs, they have a future career in information security :D
  - blitzar 4y ago
    https://www.techdetoxbox.com/kids-bypass-parental-controls/ https://www.techdetoxbox.com/kids-bypass-parental-controls/ Some of the suggestions there are a bit dystopian - like locking your kids devices in a safe ... You are probably fairly safe at 10, for a year or two! "The poll, posted on Facebook by internet security vendor SmoothWall, found almost half (49 per cent) of 13-17 year olds admitted to using illicit tools to access blocked websites in school." https://www.itpro.co.uk/607677/kids-bypass-school-internet-security-controls https://www.itpro.co.uk/607677/kids-bypass-school-internet-s... (2008 - guessing that number is a little higher now that it was then)
cmsj 4y ago
Terribly sorry that giving a shit about raising our kids is offensive to you. I'd invite you to spend some time considering the difference between legacy childrens entertainment media and an algorithmically driven platform that has, at best, meagre ex-post-facto content moderation.
- scotty79 4y ago
  Given the trends, YouTube is probably the mildest thing your kids will experience in their lifetime. Their lives will be shaped by crisis after crisis and their peers will be kids raised on YouTube. The best you can do is keep your kids as out of touch with environment they will lead their lives in as you are.
  - kelipso 4y ago
    Kids are going to be exposed to alcohol eventually so let's dose them with increasing amounts of alcohol as they grow up so they'll build up a resistance.
    - gambiting 4y ago
      I mean, I figure that you are being sarcastic, but it's absolutely a thing(not the physical resistance to alcohol, obviously, rather a psychological one) - in countries where kids are allowed(and it's socially acceptable) to have a little bit of alcohol with dinner there isn't suddenly a shock when they turn 18 and they can drink so they go on a binge because no one taught them responsibility with the drink. Look at the drinking culture in UK vs France for instance - it's a completely different approach.
    - scotty79 4y ago
      Internet is not optional for adults and it's not all bad as alcohol is at every age.
theshrike79 4y ago
If you really want to get your mind blown: We've never used a tablet just because a kid is bored. Children need to be able to handle boredom. If you need to hand over your phone to your toddler just to keep them calm, you've got some work to do. The amount of kids in strollers with a parent's phone in hand is just staggering. Or a tablet in the headrest for watching shows on any car trip over 15 minutes.
- grugagag 4y ago
  Handing the phone to children all the time to pacify them has some costs down the line, their reward circuitry gets altered and not saying impossible to repair but not easy either. Kids and parents may suffer for it later on in their lives
flanbiscuit 4y ago
> for not daring to allow their precious children to hear the words you and tube The original commenter added more info in a reply in this thread that might've taken some of the steam out of this remark: > I haven't banned the kid from Youtube, just didn't specifically direct them there. Except for a few times. I think we looked up sign language tutorials (that was a big deal 3-4 years ago) and some drawing tutorials for watercolours. source: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34639799 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34639799

theshrike79 4y ago

Dunno if the school is a weird outlier, but none of my kid's friends are obsessed with Youtube influencers either. I haven't banned the kid from Youtube, just didn't specifically direct them there. Except for a few times. I think we looked up sign language tutorials (that was a big deal 3-4 years ago) and some drawing tutorials for watercolours. I think they see Youtube as a source for information instead of entertainment? At least that's my theory. Also: I'm not from a native english speaking country, so the amount of content is even more limited. Most of the local YT influencers are 100% insufferable.

ryandrake 4y ago
I think your kid's school is a weird outlier. [USA here] All my 10 year old and her friends talk about is YouTube, Minecraft, Roblox, Fortnight, and so on, but primarily YouTube because it's the one unifying entertainment everyone has in common. The girls think the boys are stupid for being obsessed with Fortnight, and the Minecrafters sneer at the Robloxers, but everyone can agree on YouTube.

prmoustache 4y ago

My kids know about youtube but that doesn't mean they are lost in it. If anything they'd rather watch the harry potter series 100x times before asking for generic youtube access.