3 ms·
Sexual shame damages people. I grew up in a Catholic household where my sex ed consisted of Focus On The Family's workbooks, and their blame and shame, sinful
by p0pcult 4y ago
Sexual shame damages people. I grew up in a Catholic household where my sex ed consisted of Focus On The Family's workbooks, and their blame and shame, sinful outlook on what turns out to be a normal part of most mammalian lives.
Echoing the sentiment of a sibling comment: this damaged me. I'm middle aged now, and some of residual shame-trauma still exists.
That shame mechanism is one of the things that enables sexual predators to repeatedly prey on others, because ashamed people don't report being sexually abused.
Fortunately, I didnt have to deal with that, but given my upbringing (Catholicism, Altar Boy, Boy Scouts), its just down to probability that I was lucky enough to not have been groomed by a pedophile.
- sam_goody 4y agoThere is definitely a place for things that are not shameful, but not spoken about. I am not ashamed to go to the bathroom, but do not talk about it. I live in a society where all sex related things are in that category. It is impolite and discouraged to randomly talk about anything sex related. But if you have reason [for example consulting with someone with more experience], than it is encouraged and totally OK. There are VERY strong social norms, including not to be queer, not to view porn, not to commit adultery [to use the example of the OP]. Someone struggling can talk openly to get help. Someone who disagrees (eg. gay) will usually leave the society where they are not accepted. It is a shame to confuse privacy and self respect with shame.
- p0pcult 4y agoCool story.