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We plan to, but life worked out this way so far. We’re still in our early 30s, and having the financial capability to thrive with children is very recent. We’re

We plan to, but life worked out this way so far. We’re still in our early 30s, and having the financial capability to thrive with children is very recent. We’re both rapidly progressing our careers so it’s hard to find the right time to shift direction. We’ve been together for a decade but most of that decade has been grad school, paying off student debt, paying lots of rent on entry level salaries, and so on :)

vorpalhex 4y ago
At 35 your ability to reproduce and have a healthy kid starts dropping. At 45, you are looking at IVF. The recommendation is at least 18 months between kids so that the mother can recover. Most people don't get pregnant the way your highschool threatened you would. It can take a year or two.
- yojo 4y ago
  It can absolutely happen right away though - there’s no way to tell for sure until you try. Our kid #1 (both aged 33) was first month of trying, kid #2 (both aged 36) took 3 months. Most of our friends took longer, but another same-age couple had a similar experience to us. So go in with low expectations, but don’t try before you’re ready.
- BadCookie 4y ago
  “Geriatric pregnancy” is a term that is sometimes used to describe a pregnancy in a woman 35 or older. It’s best, from a biological standpoint, for a woman to have all of her kids before age 35. I don’t think most people understand this or talk about it enough.
- helen___keller 4y ago
  Yep. It’s especially difficult for my wife. She finished grad school at 28, and her industry is almost entirely within high CoL cities. We had wanted kids by 30, but when 30 rolled around it was a pandemic and we were locked in a 1000sqft apartment with my mother in law, and my wife was still new in her career and worried that if she took a break from her career it would mean never going back to it. We’re in a place now that we can actually plan it out but as you mention, our time is low on the children front. There’s just very few sweet spots between “full career” and “no career” for women in some fields, especially if your childbearing dream includes taking a year or two off work.

vorpalhex 4y ago

At 35 your ability to reproduce and have a healthy kid starts dropping. At 45, you are looking at IVF. The recommendation is at least 18 months between kids so that the mother can recover. Most people don't get pregnant the way your highschool threatened you would. It can take a year or two.

yojo 4y ago
It can absolutely happen right away though - there’s no way to tell for sure until you try. Our kid #1 (both aged 33) was first month of trying, kid #2 (both aged 36) took 3 months. Most of our friends took longer, but another same-age couple had a similar experience to us. So go in with low expectations, but don’t try before you’re ready.
BadCookie 4y ago
“Geriatric pregnancy” is a term that is sometimes used to describe a pregnancy in a woman 35 or older. It’s best, from a biological standpoint, for a woman to have all of her kids before age 35. I don’t think most people understand this or talk about it enough.
helen___keller 4y ago
Yep. It’s especially difficult for my wife. She finished grad school at 28, and her industry is almost entirely within high CoL cities. We had wanted kids by 30, but when 30 rolled around it was a pandemic and we were locked in a 1000sqft apartment with my mother in law, and my wife was still new in her career and worried that if she took a break from her career it would mean never going back to it. We’re in a place now that we can actually plan it out but as you mention, our time is low on the children front. There’s just very few sweet spots between “full career” and “no career” for women in some fields, especially if your childbearing dream includes taking a year or two off work.