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It's probably wrong with respect to hedgehogs, but then, it's a metaphor, and what it's trying to say about human relationships makes sense to me in some way.
by Delk 4y ago
It's probably wrong with respect to hedgehogs, but then, it's a metaphor, and what it's trying to say about human relationships makes sense to me in some way.
The more intimate you are with someone, the more you're also aware of their pain and hardships. Intimate relationships involve conflicts and require compromises you would be able to avoid or not get into in a more distant relationship. They involve vulnerability and trust.
The vulnerability and trust and the deep emotional meaning that intimate relationships have can make those conflicts all the more painful. Sometimes the compromises required or the shared pains can amount to damage.
Of course that's not the only side of intimate relationships, as the metaphor also says. I'm not sure I'd agree with the interpretation that we (or most people) should be wary or moderate with closeness to other people. But I do get the idea that it's not without a significant cost that wouldn't be there when keeping a greater distance.
Where each of us falls on the spectrum between the joys and pains (or even damage) of close relationships probably depends both on personality and our experiences.
- growt 4y agoI 100% agree with you that greater intimacy leads to greater risk of being harmed. The thing I don't agree with is "human intimacy cannot occur without substantial mutual harm". That sounds a bit too absolute to be true and is also not my personal experience. But it might be just the way philosophers talk, or maybe "harm" has another definition here and includes things like "changing the partner" that one would not define as "harm" in another context?