I feel the same way. I'm going to try to defend my position as well as I can (sans dishonesty and rhetorical tricks), but actually winning an argument means it

I feel the same way. I'm going to try to defend my position as well as I can (sans dishonesty and rhetorical tricks), but actually winning an argument means it was probably a waste of my time. My goal is to be right about everything, so I wish that in every argument I have I'm on the wrong side because when somebody who is right convinces me that I am wrong, I become smarter than I was before the argument. I think it's pretty common to feel indebted to people who convinced you that you were wrong. Really what happened is that they put in the work before you got into it with them, and aggressively shared the benefits with you. Losing an argument is like someone beating the crap out of you, strolling into your home and ransacking it until they find your debts, then paying them off against your will. I walk into every argument hoping to lose, and hoping I don't embarrass myself too badly on the way to that loss. The worst is when you figure out that you were confidently, smugly wrong. But if you laugh with your opponent about how cocky you were, it makes it all better. edit: it's only worth my time to win in an argument if I'm trying to help someone I care about, or if I'm trying to argue against behavior that affects me or someone I care about negatively. Not an abstract effect, like when you pretend your tweets are social work, but concretely, like with a coworker that you depend on, or a neighbor.