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Less attractive girls get less male attention no matter what. Why would it be any more demoralizing if that attention comes with tutoring? Why would it be distr

Less attractive girls get less male attention no matter what. Why would it be any more demoralizing if that attention comes with tutoring? Why would it be distracting? It seems everyone is complaining except the girls getting tutored. And if they did complain, if some guy was pushy or wouldn't take no for an answer, then deal with him the same as any other such guy - that they're attending a class for the sake of dating would be incidental, and make their actions no worse or better, and wouldn't affect the response in any way, except that it would be easier to expel them from the class, as it wouldn't impact their academics.

weakfish 4y ago
It would be demoralizing because your attractiveness shouldn’t factor into whether you can get academic help
- onepointsixC 4y ago
  Upperclass men are not the only source of academic help and if they were then there would be significantly greater problems.
- pgayed 4y ago
  The individuals offering sessions are not employees or staff of the university.
- diebeforei485 4y ago
  Attractive people definitely get more help from peers regardless of class. However, this is a strange situation where they literally already know all the material. IMO they shouldn't be taking the class. I agree it shouldn't factor into getting help from class TA's.
- sugarpile 4y ago
  Why not? This is reality and how the world works. Attractive men and women get promoted more easily, get better service in bars and restaurants, etc… to infinity. This idea that it’s more worthwhile to wail at the sky about how the world works rather than acknowledge it and seek to take advantage of other areas of life where the scales are tipped in your favor fucking mystifies me.
  - klyrs 4y ago
    > Why not? This is reality and how the world works. Why not hire based on attractiveness and promote based on blowjobs? This is reality and how the world works. ... alternatively, we could strive to make the world a better place.
    - sugarpile 4y ago
      That’s perfectly fine, imo? There’s clearly a disadvantage to not having any meritocratic considerations during the hiring process and it will eventually come back to bite the hiring company. That said, everyone has free will and should be completely free to hire whomever they want for whatever reasons they want.
      - klyrs 4y ago
        Nah, we have laws to protect us from people like you. Society is better off, whether or not you can see that.
  - npteljes 4y ago
    Where would you draw the line on how the world works, though? For example, I imagine it's quite natural to want to kill someone. People do it all the time, even though it's outlawed. Should that also be fine, because aggression is natural, and nature is how the world works?
  - sinity 4y ago
    > This idea that it’s more worthwhile to wail at the sky about how the world works rather than acknowledge it and seek to take advantage of other areas of life where the scales are tipped in your favor fucking mystifies me. Yep. This discussion is full of insinuation that trying to leverage your knowledge or intelligence to attract women is _manipulation_ or _predatory_.
spiritplumber 4y ago
Because it can be very dehumanizing. "Even in a STEM class, I can't escape being unattractive". At minimum, it'll make me less likely to want to excel. (Been there)
- sugarpile 4y ago
  This is the hand they have been dealt. The solution is to detach your motivation and happiness from caring about how you are perceived. Not wishing the real world was complicit in your denial of reality. The only person whose opinion on yourself which holds any weight is your own.
  - spiritplumber 4y ago
    Counterpoint - I've always been unattractive. One time, me and some other people signed up to volunteer for H4H, to get 1 or 2 college credits, and because it was a cool thing to do, and in my case because I wanted to learn the American way of making houses. We rebuilt a former crack house. It was actually pretty cool (although I don't much like how American houses are made - they go up fast, but they also are intended to come down in 1 or 2 generations, I'll stick to brick and granite, thanks!). I did my part. Guess who was and wasn't called when it was time to take a picture showcasing all our work. This was before consumer-priced smartphones, so I don't have a picture of that.
- commandlinefan 4y ago
  > Even in a STEM class, I can't escape being unattractive Ironically, the men that OP is complaining about almost definitely feel the same way: "even when I go out of my way to be helpful, I can't escape being so unattractive that they professor actually wants to kick me out of class."
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
Tozen 4y ago
> Less attractive girls get less male attention no matter what. This is simple reality, but it seems certain people want to reject it. As if the less attractive women should be forcibly provided special access to the more attractive or top percentage of men. > It seems everyone is complaining except the girls (college women) getting tutored. I also find this quite strange. It's as if the college women tutored are denied agency and are children of the school. Like these guys are not talking to adult women who can choose their actions, but rather the teacher of the class and school administration control these women and mandate dating access to them. > And if they did complain, if some guy was pushy or wouldn't take no for an answer, then deal with him the same as any other such guy... Again, you are noticing the same thing. Not seeing why any actual complaints can't be handled on its merits, based on the individual it happened to. What the hell is going on that the teacher feels she should control the "dating privileges" of her female students and be empowered to block male heterosexual student access to her class. I find the behavior and intended actions of the teacher in question very strange. It's as if she wants to run a "pre-crime" unit, where the male students are already guilty, and her female students need to ask for her permission for who they can or can't date.
- jhanschoo 4y ago
  When you take a college class, there is an expectation that you do not receive special academic attention based on how good-looking you appear to some arbitrary people. Usually there isn't any need to have rules for this situation because 1. Teachers and TAs are forbidden from discriminating and signalling romantic/sexual interest during the course. 2. Those in the course are typically either being graded or auditing the course out of academic interest, and so romantic/sexual interest is rarely the primary factor for grouping up and helping each other out. As such, this is rarely the norm when it comes to academic attention, in contradiction to > This is simple reality In response to complaining, you say > It's as if the college women tutored are denied agency and are children of the school. But the right thing to do in such a situation is exactly what they have done: to exercise their agency by raising their discomfort to the one that seems to be liable for setting the norms of their course, the professor. The other thing I've seen happen is students exercising their agency by avoiding the course altogether, albeit since the situation I've discussed is so rare, I'm thinking about an analoguous situation where a professor was notorious for giving preferential academic attention to attractive women. > What the hell is going on that the teacher feels she should control the "dating privileges" of her female students and be empowered to block male heterosexual student access to her class. Because the majority of her class who are taking in good faith thinks that this is detrimental to their student experience... the complaint isn't against men who are also taking the course in good faith. > empowered to block male heterosexual student access to her class. I find it a radical suggestion that people ought to be allowed access to a course when their goals are not in line with the course's goals. > I find the behavior and intended actions of the teacher in question very strange. It's as if she wants to run a "pre-crime" unit, where the male students are already guilty, and her female students need to ask for her permission for who they can or can't date. ... no? She's not trying to control their students' dating lives. Her actions are against behavior that violates unspoken norms about the environment in which her course is conducted, violations for which she has received complaints for.
sinity 4y ago
> Less attractive girls get less male attention no matter what. Why would it be any more demoralizing if that attention comes with tutoring? Why would it be distracting? And fuckton of men get literally 0 attention. That's, of course, not an issue at all.

weakfish 4y ago

It would be demoralizing because your attractiveness shouldn’t factor into whether you can get academic help

onepointsixC 4y ago
Upperclass men are not the only source of academic help and if they were then there would be significantly greater problems.
pgayed 4y ago
The individuals offering sessions are not employees or staff of the university.
diebeforei485 4y ago
Attractive people definitely get more help from peers regardless of class. However, this is a strange situation where they literally already know all the material. IMO they shouldn't be taking the class. I agree it shouldn't factor into getting help from class TA's.
sugarpile 4y ago
Why not? This is reality and how the world works. Attractive men and women get promoted more easily, get better service in bars and restaurants, etc… to infinity. This idea that it’s more worthwhile to wail at the sky about how the world works rather than acknowledge it and seek to take advantage of other areas of life where the scales are tipped in your favor fucking mystifies me.
- klyrs 4y ago
  > Why not? This is reality and how the world works. Why not hire based on attractiveness and promote based on blowjobs? This is reality and how the world works. ... alternatively, we could strive to make the world a better place.
  - sugarpile 4y ago
    That’s perfectly fine, imo? There’s clearly a disadvantage to not having any meritocratic considerations during the hiring process and it will eventually come back to bite the hiring company. That said, everyone has free will and should be completely free to hire whomever they want for whatever reasons they want.
    - klyrs 4y ago
      Nah, we have laws to protect us from people like you. Society is better off, whether or not you can see that.
- npteljes 4y ago
  Where would you draw the line on how the world works, though? For example, I imagine it's quite natural to want to kill someone. People do it all the time, even though it's outlawed. Should that also be fine, because aggression is natural, and nature is how the world works?
- sinity 4y ago
  > This idea that it’s more worthwhile to wail at the sky about how the world works rather than acknowledge it and seek to take advantage of other areas of life where the scales are tipped in your favor fucking mystifies me. Yep. This discussion is full of insinuation that trying to leverage your knowledge or intelligence to attract women is _manipulation_ or _predatory_.

spiritplumber 4y ago

Because it can be very dehumanizing. "Even in a STEM class, I can't escape being unattractive". At minimum, it'll make me less likely to want to excel. (Been there)

sugarpile 4y ago
This is the hand they have been dealt. The solution is to detach your motivation and happiness from caring about how you are perceived. Not wishing the real world was complicit in your denial of reality. The only person whose opinion on yourself which holds any weight is your own.
- spiritplumber 4y ago
  Counterpoint - I've always been unattractive. One time, me and some other people signed up to volunteer for H4H, to get 1 or 2 college credits, and because it was a cool thing to do, and in my case because I wanted to learn the American way of making houses. We rebuilt a former crack house. It was actually pretty cool (although I don't much like how American houses are made - they go up fast, but they also are intended to come down in 1 or 2 generations, I'll stick to brick and granite, thanks!). I did my part. Guess who was and wasn't called when it was time to take a picture showcasing all our work. This was before consumer-priced smartphones, so I don't have a picture of that.
commandlinefan 4y ago
> Even in a STEM class, I can't escape being unattractive Ironically, the men that OP is complaining about almost definitely feel the same way: "even when I go out of my way to be helpful, I can't escape being so unattractive that they professor actually wants to kick me out of class."

deleted 4y ago

[deleted]

Tozen 4y ago

> Less attractive girls get less male attention no matter what. This is simple reality, but it seems certain people want to reject it. As if the less attractive women should be forcibly provided special access to the more attractive or top percentage of men. > It seems everyone is complaining except the girls (college women) getting tutored. I also find this quite strange. It's as if the college women tutored are denied agency and are children of the school. Like these guys are not talking to adult women who can choose their actions, but rather the teacher of the class and school administration control these women and mandate dating access to them. > And if they did complain, if some guy was pushy or wouldn't take no for an answer, then deal with him the same as any other such guy... Again, you are noticing the same thing. Not seeing why any actual complaints can't be handled on its merits, based on the individual it happened to. What the hell is going on that the teacher feels she should control the "dating privileges" of her female students and be empowered to block male heterosexual student access to her class. I find the behavior and intended actions of the teacher in question very strange. It's as if she wants to run a "pre-crime" unit, where the male students are already guilty, and her female students need to ask for her permission for who they can or can't date.

jhanschoo 4y ago
When you take a college class, there is an expectation that you do not receive special academic attention based on how good-looking you appear to some arbitrary people. Usually there isn't any need to have rules for this situation because 1. Teachers and TAs are forbidden from discriminating and signalling romantic/sexual interest during the course. 2. Those in the course are typically either being graded or auditing the course out of academic interest, and so romantic/sexual interest is rarely the primary factor for grouping up and helping each other out. As such, this is rarely the norm when it comes to academic attention, in contradiction to > This is simple reality In response to complaining, you say > It's as if the college women tutored are denied agency and are children of the school. But the right thing to do in such a situation is exactly what they have done: to exercise their agency by raising their discomfort to the one that seems to be liable for setting the norms of their course, the professor. The other thing I've seen happen is students exercising their agency by avoiding the course altogether, albeit since the situation I've discussed is so rare, I'm thinking about an analoguous situation where a professor was notorious for giving preferential academic attention to attractive women. > What the hell is going on that the teacher feels she should control the "dating privileges" of her female students and be empowered to block male heterosexual student access to her class. Because the majority of her class who are taking in good faith thinks that this is detrimental to their student experience... the complaint isn't against men who are also taking the course in good faith. > empowered to block male heterosexual student access to her class. I find it a radical suggestion that people ought to be allowed access to a course when their goals are not in line with the course's goals. > I find the behavior and intended actions of the teacher in question very strange. It's as if she wants to run a "pre-crime" unit, where the male students are already guilty, and her female students need to ask for her permission for who they can or can't date. ... no? She's not trying to control their students' dating lives. Her actions are against behavior that violates unspoken norms about the environment in which her course is conducted, violations for which she has received complaints for.

sinity 4y ago

> Less attractive girls get less male attention no matter what. Why would it be any more demoralizing if that attention comes with tutoring? Why would it be distracting? And fuckton of men get literally 0 attention. That's, of course, not an issue at all.