7 ms·

No, you just to treat women with respect. The issue here is intention. The intention here is not about teaching or learning in the class. But its using that pr

No, you just to treat women with respect. The issue here is intention. The intention here is not about teaching or learning in the class. But its using that pretence in fact distrupting the intention of the class and people there. How do you like your intention distrupted? How about by unattractive slobs who are objectifying you and trying to be "helpful" and trying tricks they found on internet If someone is trying to come to terms with complex mathematics it just not appropriate to distract or give them the feeling of having to deal with a situation of someone coming onto them. How do people not get this? It's about basic respect. Isn't it totally distracting to you if someone you're not attracted in is looking at you and commenting on you and trying to "help" you? Maybe you'd like unattractive specimens distrupting your coding process by hanging around and offering to be "helpful"?

xupybd 4y ago
I don't think that taking a class to get to know single women of your own age is disrespectful. Do we know they are objectifying? The post said this was about finding a future wife.
- elil17 4y ago
  It’s disrespectful because it ignores the fact that the women are not there to date, but to learn. The men are getting in their way by showing off and offering disingenuous tutoring.
  - bruce511 4y ago
    I feel like (as an old person) trying to tell youngsters how to behave at college, seems, well likely to fall in deaf ears. But I'm not sure your point holds water. If women want to date, they can. If they don't want to then they don't have to. These other students hold no power, assign no grades, and so on. Perhaps the root issue is the demoralization of some not being offered dates or extra tutoring? But it's hard to see how that might be corrected. I confess I don't see the actual harm here - those that want to learn can learn, those that want to date can date. I suppose those that want to date, but aren't getting any offers....? Still, as an old man, I'm not sure I'm qualified to weigh in - but to me it sounds like kids being kids.
    - wilsonnb3 4y ago
      > These other students hold no power A key point is that these students do have power because they already know the coursework. That is the whole reason that they chose these specific classes.
      - xupybd 4y ago
        That's a pretty weak hand really. It's not like they're in competition with the other students. They're also offering to help pass on that knowledge in exchange for attention from women. That's not a power move.
        britch 4y ago
        The post describes students "teaching" labs as though they are TA's. How is that not an attempt to take a position of power?
        xupybd 4y ago
        That's kind of a hall monitor position of power. Yeah, you appear to be in power but the first person to get annoyed with you is still going to stuff you in a locker. It shows these guys don't know what they're doing. You don't impress girls by showing off how much of a nerd you are. Been there tried that. It doesn't work.
        britch 4y ago
        Oh I totally agree haha, what the seniors are doing is a bit sad. I hope they can figure out a better way of meeting someone
        Tozen 4y ago
        That's part of the problem. The other side has no viable suggestions for such young men, outside of them being already blessed with good looks, is tall, very charismatic, well built, popular, and/or wealthy. So, be the top 20% they are already clearly not, or just passively sit around doing nothing and hope to get randomly lucky.
  - lazide 4y ago
    Why do you assume the women aren’t as interested in dating as the men? Seems pretty sexist frankly.
    - TheHappyOddish 4y ago
      Modern feminism is very odd, and is the reason I no longer call myself a feminist. The gist appears to be that men - and anything associated with masuculinity - is not ok, unless you're attractive. In addition, women are independent but also need constant protection, assumedly from said attractive masculine men. It's not hard to see how incel culture rose up and why people like Andrew Tate have so much support. Turns out chickens come home to roost.
    - cpach 4y ago
      The guys mentioned opted to audit the class with the explicit purpouse of flirting. I think we can assume that most freshmen did not share that explicit purpose for taking the class.
      - lazide 4y ago
        According to someone who isn’t them, correct?
    - felix_n 4y ago
      I guess because they're complaining to the professor about it? Nice attempt to turn the table though, with social skills that subtle I bet you'd fit right with the bozos in this class.
      - lazide 4y ago
        One person complained, correct? Any sizable group of people where there is fun occurring, will inevitably have someone complain because they aren’t included. It’s impossible to please everyone. It also can happen if there are actual problems too! But without looking at the situation, good luck figuring it out. Nice personal attack though!
  - shitlord 4y ago
    It takes two to tango. If the service works, then clearly some of the women are there to date. Who are we to tell them they're wrong, if both parties benefit from the arrangement? Obviously if the men are harassing the women, that's bad and they should be held accountable.
    - xupybd 4y ago
      I suspect the problem is not harassment but social incompetence. If the young men are anything like I was their approach will be less than smooth. I can see how that would get tiring over time.
  - fragmede 4y ago
    How exactly do you do disengenuous tutoring? This system of equations only works out if you're hot?
    - sidlls 4y ago
      Oh come on. It's disingenuous because the motive is to place the women in situations where the tutor can make advances, not to impart knowledge or help. They may or may not be effective tutors; that has nothing to do with whether it's disingenuous.
  - drewcoo 4y ago
    Nonsense. When I was in college, many women were there for their "Mrs. degree." Not most women but enough that it had a familiar jokey label. This was even joked about by those same women who were partner-hunting. And investing time into an activity to meet someone is the opposite of disrespectful. It shows a willingness to at least commit something. I don't see how this is any worse than taking dance classes to meet people. As long as they're not interrupting dance class.
    - elil17 4y ago
      I feel like that does not line up with whats in the post, though. Women are complaining. The guys aren't even fully enrolled in the class, they are auditing. It's the opposite of genuinely investing time - it's all some charade.
  - hackinthebochs 4y ago
    The subtext here is that women should be able to exist in the world without "unwanted" sexual attention being given towards them. The question is whether this is reasonable. Should men not seek dates? Should men not go where single women are to seek dates? Should men limit their efforts at getting dates only to "appropriate venues", where women's interest is explicit? How does the man's attractiveness factor into these constraints? None of this seems reasonable at first blush. Obviously women don't want men they're not attracted to to engage them with romantic interests. Conversely, women generally do want men they are attracted to demonstrate romantic interests, regardless of venue (to a certain extent). But how can this constraint possibly be enforced in a reasonable way?
    - Gigachad 4y ago
      There is also no real way to signal interest in being approached. Personally I wear a rainbow watch band in an attempt to signal this but I'm not aware of any typical way a straight person signals interest without being somewhat outgoing and making the first move which seems to be deeply disturbing to the commenters here.
      - xupybd 4y ago
        For some reason reading your username after reading your comment made me crack up. I think your personality lines up.
    - elil17 4y ago
      To me, the issue isn't that class is a totally inappropriate venue (for context, I'm a woman). I've been asked out in class when I was in college. I've also asked people out in class. It was never an issue. It does not interrupt class. But that is so different than showing up to class with the intent of getting a date. It's disingenuous and, when you have multiple people doing it, it's disruptive and disrespectful to everyone there who wants to learn, especially women. I'm not saying people never ask each other out in class. What people were doing usually do is fine by my book. But this is a situation where a difference of degree becomes a difference of kind.
  - lelanthran 4y ago
    > It’s disrespectful because it ignores the fact that the women are not there to date, but to learn. Well, if they're dating in that class, then you're obviously wrong; those women who date in that class are there to learn and (obviously) open to dating as well. Who are you to tell women who they may or may not date?
    - elil17 4y ago
      I don't think most of the women in the class are dating. It's clear that a lot of them are uncomfortable. And frankly, we should privilege the interests of people who go to class to learn over those who do not. Even if just say 10% of people found this disruptive to there education, I do think that would make it a bad thing.
      - lelanthran 4y ago
        > I don't think most of the women in the class are dating. It's clear that a lot of them are uncomfortable. And frankly, we should privilege the interests of people who go to class to learn over those who do not. Even if just say 10% of people found this disruptive to there education, I do think that would make it a bad thing. Just to be clear, you're advocating that we should take steps to prevent two consensual adults meeting because if they date it offends some other people??? Really? What sort of regressive primitive viewpoint is this? Didn't we fight for decades to ensure that consensual adults can do whatever the fuck they want to even if some people find it offensive, disgusting and/or immoral?
        elil17 4y ago
        The whole point is about people seeking out a class just to get a date. Like, if you were interviewing someone for a job and they said they were interested in your company because they wanted to date your coworkers? Would you hire them? I wouldn’t, because that’s not the point of work. That doesn’t mean you should stop people from dating their coworkers at all. If I’m teaching or participating in a class it’s reasonable to expect that everyone shows up with the same primary purpose: learning. Doesn’t mean you need to ban people from dating. But these men are showing up and ignoring the whole point of the class.
  - ndriscoll 4y ago
    My wife told me when we started dating that she picked math in university to find a STEM boy (who was expected to get a high paying job. No math grad school for me). And yes, I helped her with her homework and with studying only because I was attracted to her and dating her. We're both happy with how that turned out. Honestly assuming we send our kids to college (it's looking like a house and a trust fund will be cheaper by the time they're 18 if we're trying to be financially optimal), we'll definitely be telling them that finding their spouse is going to be the most important thing they could possibly do while there. Almost all of our two social groups are not married, and we probably wouldn't be either if we hadn't met in university (I almost certainly wouldn't be). It is probably the best opportunity for one of the most important events to set the course of your life. Absolutely people should treat it that way.
    - Tozen 4y ago
      > My wife told me when we started dating that she picked math in university to find a STEM boy (who was expected to get a high paying job. The situation that we are dealing with in many societies, is the attempted demonization of heterosexual males by certain groups, which ends up being destructive and a net loss. That a woman would purposely choose to pick a class to find "better dating options" is fine or even a woman's privilege. If a heterosexual male does so, then it's distorted into being a type of crime or abuse, that certain elements feel it demands punitive school administrative actions or to be criminalized > It is probably the best opportunity for one of the most important events to set the course of your life. Not only have many known this for a long time, that college is often the best time and place to find a husband, but statistics bear this out. Many highly educated women who have got married, found their husband during college. When they don't, many regretted it and had severe struggles later on, or the clock ended up running out on their fertility and dating prospects.
    - felix_n 4y ago
      So your wife copped to seeking out someone based on expected lifetime earnings? I'd be pretty pissed, personally.
      - 4y ago
- britch 4y ago
  Taking an art class to meet different people is one thing. You at least have to grapple with the material. You are on equal footing with other students. Showboating, or "offering to help" in something you have already learned thoroughly is disruptive to others learning.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
nhchris 4y ago
You've assumed a great deal more about their behavior than was written. The professor even states "no unwanted advances are taking place", contradicting your characterization. Indeed, your extra assumptions would qualify as 'disruption', and I imagine the professor would be well within her rights to expel such students. But merely offering, not pushing, assistance, or even less "showboating", letting students in search of help come to them if they want to, isn't disruption or even untoward. > No, you just to treat women with respect. We've really come to a point where even the purest romantic intentions (the post talks of wife material, not one night stands) are "disrespectful", have we?
- boppo1 4y ago
  Rule 1. Be attractive. Rule 2. Don't be unattractive. It's not a joke.
  - xupybd 4y ago
    While this is true, you have a lot more control over this than you may realize. Especially if you're a male seeking a female. Most men think they same physical characteristics they're interested in will be appealing to the opposite sex. There are many physical traits that women prefer but they're less shallow than us men. Confidence and the ability to talk are huge. You're social status among your peer group. How well you dress. Do you look after yourself physically. All of these things can be developed.
    - boppo1 4y ago
      Oh I'm plenty aware. I wish someone had explained it to me when I was 16 though. "There's truly nothing you can do today to change her mind. All the things that would have made her say 'yes' are things you had to start working on 2 years ago. Today you can start working on who you will be in 2 years and persuading the girl you meet then to say 'yes'."
      - zozbot234 4y ago
        I disagree that guys will only see results from self-improvement in two years; there are behavioral changes that should be mastered immediately. Learning to treat women with proper respect and still come across as attractive to them can be highly beneficial, and is not exactly something that society strives to teach. The earlier you master this, the better.
ZephyrBlu 4y ago
Taking a class, participating in labs and offering tutoring purely to find a partner is an extremely high effort attempt from a man. Men try less respectful and far more thinly veiled attempts on women all the time. > Isn't it totally distracting to you if someone you're not attracted in is looking at you and commenting on you and trying to "help" you? And what if they are attractive?
- ImaCake 4y ago
  Why does the amount of effort make things better? By the same measure we would say spying on someone with binoculars is more acceptable than stalking their facebook page.
  - ZephyrBlu 4y ago
    Effort is generally a pretty good proxy for respect. If this isn't a respectful attempt, can you explain what is a respectful attempt? You go to a class, offer to help a girl and then at some point later (End of the class, etc) you ask for her number. If she says no at any point you leave her alone. What's disrespectful about that if you're genuinely helping her? Of course if you're leering and won't leave a girl alone that's disrespectful, but taking a class and offering help to attractive girls isn't inherently disrespectful.
    - ImaCake 4y ago
      >Effort is generally a pretty good proxy for respect My example above says otherwise. >can you explain what is a respectful attempt? One done in good faith. Which is a slippery and vague concept. The ambiguity would explain the state of this comment section. >taking a class and offering help to attractive girls isn't inherently disrespectful I, and others, would consider the crucial point here to be "taking the class" because there will be attactive girls there, to be the disrespectful part. It also matters that this is being done on a mass scale, so that many suitors are disrupting the studies of many students at the same time.
      - 4y ago
lelanthran 4y ago
> Isn't it totally distracting to you if someone you're not attracted in is looking at you and commenting on you and trying to "help" you? That would be the "unwanted advances" that the complainants claim did not happen.
jbmny 4y ago
The "unattractive slobs" bit seems a bit excessive to me, but I absolutely agree with your main point: the issues are indeed respect and intention. As the professor describes it, it sounds like the perpetrators of this "prank" are turning this class into their own romantic playground without regard for their classmates' wishes. Their "help" comes under false pretenses. They seem to think their dating lives are more important than the education of their classmates. There's a fundamental disrespect and a bit of -- sorry to say it -- misogyny there. An extreme example, I know, but I can't help but think of the movie Audition.
c23gooey 4y ago
Why do you assume all these people are unattractive?
sinity 4y ago
You clearly don't treat men with respect; why should men respect you for being a woman? I mean, "unattractive objectifying slobs", really?

xupybd 4y ago

I don't think that taking a class to get to know single women of your own age is disrespectful. Do we know they are objectifying? The post said this was about finding a future wife.

elil17 4y ago
It’s disrespectful because it ignores the fact that the women are not there to date, but to learn. The men are getting in their way by showing off and offering disingenuous tutoring.
- bruce511 4y ago
  I feel like (as an old person) trying to tell youngsters how to behave at college, seems, well likely to fall in deaf ears. But I'm not sure your point holds water. If women want to date, they can. If they don't want to then they don't have to. These other students hold no power, assign no grades, and so on. Perhaps the root issue is the demoralization of some not being offered dates or extra tutoring? But it's hard to see how that might be corrected. I confess I don't see the actual harm here - those that want to learn can learn, those that want to date can date. I suppose those that want to date, but aren't getting any offers....? Still, as an old man, I'm not sure I'm qualified to weigh in - but to me it sounds like kids being kids.
  - wilsonnb3 4y ago
    > These other students hold no power A key point is that these students do have power because they already know the coursework. That is the whole reason that they chose these specific classes.
    - xupybd 4y ago
      That's a pretty weak hand really. It's not like they're in competition with the other students. They're also offering to help pass on that knowledge in exchange for attention from women. That's not a power move.
      - britch 4y ago
        The post describes students "teaching" labs as though they are TA's. How is that not an attempt to take a position of power?
        xupybd 4y ago
        That's kind of a hall monitor position of power. Yeah, you appear to be in power but the first person to get annoyed with you is still going to stuff you in a locker. It shows these guys don't know what they're doing. You don't impress girls by showing off how much of a nerd you are. Been there tried that. It doesn't work.
        britch 4y ago
        Oh I totally agree haha, what the seniors are doing is a bit sad. I hope they can figure out a better way of meeting someone
        Tozen 4y ago
        That's part of the problem. The other side has no viable suggestions for such young men, outside of them being already blessed with good looks, is tall, very charismatic, well built, popular, and/or wealthy. So, be the top 20% they are already clearly not, or just passively sit around doing nothing and hope to get randomly lucky.
- lazide 4y ago
  Why do you assume the women aren’t as interested in dating as the men? Seems pretty sexist frankly.
  - TheHappyOddish 4y ago
    Modern feminism is very odd, and is the reason I no longer call myself a feminist. The gist appears to be that men - and anything associated with masuculinity - is not ok, unless you're attractive. In addition, women are independent but also need constant protection, assumedly from said attractive masculine men. It's not hard to see how incel culture rose up and why people like Andrew Tate have so much support. Turns out chickens come home to roost.
  - cpach 4y ago
    The guys mentioned opted to audit the class with the explicit purpouse of flirting. I think we can assume that most freshmen did not share that explicit purpose for taking the class.
    - lazide 4y ago
      According to someone who isn’t them, correct?
  - felix_n 4y ago
    I guess because they're complaining to the professor about it? Nice attempt to turn the table though, with social skills that subtle I bet you'd fit right with the bozos in this class.
    - lazide 4y ago
      One person complained, correct? Any sizable group of people where there is fun occurring, will inevitably have someone complain because they aren’t included. It’s impossible to please everyone. It also can happen if there are actual problems too! But without looking at the situation, good luck figuring it out. Nice personal attack though!
- shitlord 4y ago
  It takes two to tango. If the service works, then clearly some of the women are there to date. Who are we to tell them they're wrong, if both parties benefit from the arrangement? Obviously if the men are harassing the women, that's bad and they should be held accountable.
  - xupybd 4y ago
    I suspect the problem is not harassment but social incompetence. If the young men are anything like I was their approach will be less than smooth. I can see how that would get tiring over time.
- fragmede 4y ago
  How exactly do you do disengenuous tutoring? This system of equations only works out if you're hot?
  - sidlls 4y ago
    Oh come on. It's disingenuous because the motive is to place the women in situations where the tutor can make advances, not to impart knowledge or help. They may or may not be effective tutors; that has nothing to do with whether it's disingenuous.
- drewcoo 4y ago
  Nonsense. When I was in college, many women were there for their "Mrs. degree." Not most women but enough that it had a familiar jokey label. This was even joked about by those same women who were partner-hunting. And investing time into an activity to meet someone is the opposite of disrespectful. It shows a willingness to at least commit something. I don't see how this is any worse than taking dance classes to meet people. As long as they're not interrupting dance class.
  - elil17 4y ago
    I feel like that does not line up with whats in the post, though. Women are complaining. The guys aren't even fully enrolled in the class, they are auditing. It's the opposite of genuinely investing time - it's all some charade.
- hackinthebochs 4y ago
  The subtext here is that women should be able to exist in the world without "unwanted" sexual attention being given towards them. The question is whether this is reasonable. Should men not seek dates? Should men not go where single women are to seek dates? Should men limit their efforts at getting dates only to "appropriate venues", where women's interest is explicit? How does the man's attractiveness factor into these constraints? None of this seems reasonable at first blush. Obviously women don't want men they're not attracted to to engage them with romantic interests. Conversely, women generally do want men they are attracted to demonstrate romantic interests, regardless of venue (to a certain extent). But how can this constraint possibly be enforced in a reasonable way?
  - Gigachad 4y ago
    There is also no real way to signal interest in being approached. Personally I wear a rainbow watch band in an attempt to signal this but I'm not aware of any typical way a straight person signals interest without being somewhat outgoing and making the first move which seems to be deeply disturbing to the commenters here.
    - xupybd 4y ago
      For some reason reading your username after reading your comment made me crack up. I think your personality lines up.
  - elil17 4y ago
    To me, the issue isn't that class is a totally inappropriate venue (for context, I'm a woman). I've been asked out in class when I was in college. I've also asked people out in class. It was never an issue. It does not interrupt class. But that is so different than showing up to class with the intent of getting a date. It's disingenuous and, when you have multiple people doing it, it's disruptive and disrespectful to everyone there who wants to learn, especially women. I'm not saying people never ask each other out in class. What people were doing usually do is fine by my book. But this is a situation where a difference of degree becomes a difference of kind.
- lelanthran 4y ago
  > It’s disrespectful because it ignores the fact that the women are not there to date, but to learn. Well, if they're dating in that class, then you're obviously wrong; those women who date in that class are there to learn and (obviously) open to dating as well. Who are you to tell women who they may or may not date?
  - elil17 4y ago
    I don't think most of the women in the class are dating. It's clear that a lot of them are uncomfortable. And frankly, we should privilege the interests of people who go to class to learn over those who do not. Even if just say 10% of people found this disruptive to there education, I do think that would make it a bad thing.
    - lelanthran 4y ago
      > I don't think most of the women in the class are dating. It's clear that a lot of them are uncomfortable. And frankly, we should privilege the interests of people who go to class to learn over those who do not. Even if just say 10% of people found this disruptive to there education, I do think that would make it a bad thing. Just to be clear, you're advocating that we should take steps to prevent two consensual adults meeting because if they date it offends some other people??? Really? What sort of regressive primitive viewpoint is this? Didn't we fight for decades to ensure that consensual adults can do whatever the fuck they want to even if some people find it offensive, disgusting and/or immoral?
      - elil17 4y ago
        The whole point is about people seeking out a class just to get a date. Like, if you were interviewing someone for a job and they said they were interested in your company because they wanted to date your coworkers? Would you hire them? I wouldn’t, because that’s not the point of work. That doesn’t mean you should stop people from dating their coworkers at all. If I’m teaching or participating in a class it’s reasonable to expect that everyone shows up with the same primary purpose: learning. Doesn’t mean you need to ban people from dating. But these men are showing up and ignoring the whole point of the class.
- ndriscoll 4y ago
  My wife told me when we started dating that she picked math in university to find a STEM boy (who was expected to get a high paying job. No math grad school for me). And yes, I helped her with her homework and with studying only because I was attracted to her and dating her. We're both happy with how that turned out. Honestly assuming we send our kids to college (it's looking like a house and a trust fund will be cheaper by the time they're 18 if we're trying to be financially optimal), we'll definitely be telling them that finding their spouse is going to be the most important thing they could possibly do while there. Almost all of our two social groups are not married, and we probably wouldn't be either if we hadn't met in university (I almost certainly wouldn't be). It is probably the best opportunity for one of the most important events to set the course of your life. Absolutely people should treat it that way.
  - Tozen 4y ago
    > My wife told me when we started dating that she picked math in university to find a STEM boy (who was expected to get a high paying job. The situation that we are dealing with in many societies, is the attempted demonization of heterosexual males by certain groups, which ends up being destructive and a net loss. That a woman would purposely choose to pick a class to find "better dating options" is fine or even a woman's privilege. If a heterosexual male does so, then it's distorted into being a type of crime or abuse, that certain elements feel it demands punitive school administrative actions or to be criminalized > It is probably the best opportunity for one of the most important events to set the course of your life. Not only have many known this for a long time, that college is often the best time and place to find a husband, but statistics bear this out. Many highly educated women who have got married, found their husband during college. When they don't, many regretted it and had severe struggles later on, or the clock ended up running out on their fertility and dating prospects.
  - felix_n 4y ago
    So your wife copped to seeking out someone based on expected lifetime earnings? I'd be pretty pissed, personally.
    - 4y ago
britch 4y ago
Taking an art class to meet different people is one thing. You at least have to grapple with the material. You are on equal footing with other students. Showboating, or "offering to help" in something you have already learned thoroughly is disruptive to others learning.
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]

nhchris 4y ago

You've assumed a great deal more about their behavior than was written. The professor even states "no unwanted advances are taking place", contradicting your characterization. Indeed, your extra assumptions would qualify as 'disruption', and I imagine the professor would be well within her rights to expel such students. But merely offering, not pushing, assistance, or even less "showboating", letting students in search of help come to them if they want to, isn't disruption or even untoward. > No, you just to treat women with respect. We've really come to a point where even the purest romantic intentions (the post talks of wife material, not one night stands) are "disrespectful", have we?

boppo1 4y ago
Rule 1. Be attractive. Rule 2. Don't be unattractive. It's not a joke.
- xupybd 4y ago
  While this is true, you have a lot more control over this than you may realize. Especially if you're a male seeking a female. Most men think they same physical characteristics they're interested in will be appealing to the opposite sex. There are many physical traits that women prefer but they're less shallow than us men. Confidence and the ability to talk are huge. You're social status among your peer group. How well you dress. Do you look after yourself physically. All of these things can be developed.
  - boppo1 4y ago
    Oh I'm plenty aware. I wish someone had explained it to me when I was 16 though. "There's truly nothing you can do today to change her mind. All the things that would have made her say 'yes' are things you had to start working on 2 years ago. Today you can start working on who you will be in 2 years and persuading the girl you meet then to say 'yes'."
    - zozbot234 4y ago
      I disagree that guys will only see results from self-improvement in two years; there are behavioral changes that should be mastered immediately. Learning to treat women with proper respect and still come across as attractive to them can be highly beneficial, and is not exactly something that society strives to teach. The earlier you master this, the better.

ZephyrBlu 4y ago

Taking a class, participating in labs and offering tutoring purely to find a partner is an extremely high effort attempt from a man. Men try less respectful and far more thinly veiled attempts on women all the time. > Isn't it totally distracting to you if someone you're not attracted in is looking at you and commenting on you and trying to "help" you? And what if they are attractive?

ImaCake 4y ago
Why does the amount of effort make things better? By the same measure we would say spying on someone with binoculars is more acceptable than stalking their facebook page.
- ZephyrBlu 4y ago
  Effort is generally a pretty good proxy for respect. If this isn't a respectful attempt, can you explain what is a respectful attempt? You go to a class, offer to help a girl and then at some point later (End of the class, etc) you ask for her number. If she says no at any point you leave her alone. What's disrespectful about that if you're genuinely helping her? Of course if you're leering and won't leave a girl alone that's disrespectful, but taking a class and offering help to attractive girls isn't inherently disrespectful.
  - ImaCake 4y ago
    >Effort is generally a pretty good proxy for respect My example above says otherwise. >can you explain what is a respectful attempt? One done in good faith. Which is a slippery and vague concept. The ambiguity would explain the state of this comment section. >taking a class and offering help to attractive girls isn't inherently disrespectful I, and others, would consider the crucial point here to be "taking the class" because there will be attactive girls there, to be the disrespectful part. It also matters that this is being done on a mass scale, so that many suitors are disrupting the studies of many students at the same time.
    - 4y ago

lelanthran 4y ago

> Isn't it totally distracting to you if someone you're not attracted in is looking at you and commenting on you and trying to "help" you? That would be the "unwanted advances" that the complainants claim did not happen.

jbmny 4y ago

The "unattractive slobs" bit seems a bit excessive to me, but I absolutely agree with your main point: the issues are indeed respect and intention. As the professor describes it, it sounds like the perpetrators of this "prank" are turning this class into their own romantic playground without regard for their classmates' wishes. Their "help" comes under false pretenses. They seem to think their dating lives are more important than the education of their classmates. There's a fundamental disrespect and a bit of -- sorry to say it -- misogyny there. An extreme example, I know, but I can't help but think of the movie Audition.

c23gooey 4y ago

Why do you assume all these people are unattractive?

sinity 4y ago

You clearly don't treat men with respect; why should men respect you for being a woman? I mean, "unattractive objectifying slobs", really?