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> I don't get why someone wouldn't be intrinsically motivated to listen to what others have to say. They are, but they learn, often through school, that bringi
by solarmist 4y ago
> I don't get why someone wouldn't be intrinsically motivated to listen to what others have to say.
They are, but they learn, often through school, that bringing up facts is how you get praise and appreciation. Then they try to apply this to social situations and are confused why they fail. They conclude that THEY aren't interesting enough, so they double down.
I was this way for a long time (into my 30s), and I couldn't figure out why I had trouble making friends for the life of me.
- cardanome 4y agoOh, that is interesting. Wanting to get praise and appreciation from teachers is very foreign to me. I didn't have to put any effort into school because it came pretty easy to me, so I did not. I mostly wanted to impress my peers. I felt being too intelligent was more of a flaw to hide than a asset. I learned pretty early that people don't appreciate it if you make them feel intellectually inferior. Might be because I have a working-class background so intellectual accomplishments aren't really that valued in my world to begin with. I guess you are from a background that would call themselves "middle-class"?
- solarmist 4y agoNo, I didn't but my dad did instill a love of learning in me and my teachers were the only ones who gave me much attention. I moved around too much to keep any friends for long. Then I discovered programming in 7th grade and that set my path for the next two decades.