It is a great help in my marriage, which I value more than any job or money. Some recommended books: how to win friends and influence people (carnegie), crucia

It is a great help in my marriage, which I value more than any job or money. Some recommended books: how to win friends and influence people (carnegie), crucial conversations, critical conversations, and some specific skills I picked up along the way like listening even beyond the point when it hurts, etc etc. More at my web site (in profile) and in personal notes if interested. ps: And honesty and the Golden Rule are important! Because I am more analytical than natural about this (despite decades of effort), I had to make myself a checklist or process list, a list of steps to follow depending on how the conversation goes and what happens. Has been invaluable to me at some times. Fortunately my wife is capable of understanding when I get to the point of needing to use it, and I think she has seen it helps me/us, so that's very good when I remember the things I have studied & decided. The checklist helps when memory and clear thinking break down. But it takes real hard work & long-repeated practice, which requires commitment and caring for the other as for oneself (or more, sometimes). And is so worthwhile. Just being observant is a big deal. And genuinely caring about the well-being of others. Some good advice I heard was "get yourself out of the way" (though in a different/better context). So often, just be quiet and let the other person talk, maybe ask questions occasionally for clarification.