Lots of good advice so far. I'd like to add some more thoughts. My wife and I have two biological children and then adopted a young boy (15, 11, and 3), with s

Lots of good advice so far. I'd like to add some more thoughts. My wife and I have two biological children and then adopted a young boy (15, 11, and 3), with some fostering in-between. We've had some extremely stubborn/strong-willed kids. At some point you will be at your wits-end, tired and out of patience. Just take a break and pick your battles. Is the argument/situation worth all of the hassle you are current going through? I don't think you should always give-in to your kids, but you don't want to keep escalating the situation over something minor. As others have said, spend time on the floor playing with them. Read to them at bedtime. Try not to yell and scream. One young child we had would match our energy level. If we yelled, he'd yell, and we'd get nowhere. If we stayed calm, we could usually work things out. If they are in the middle of a meltdown, they probably aren't hearing what you are saying. Yelling at them some more isn't going to calm them down. Keep in mind that they are learning and will push limits. They currently don't have the mental or emotional tools to deal with most things they are going through. Try to see from their point of view. They are going to see how much they can get away with. Parents need to set the boundaries and enforcement. Be consistent. I have many more thoughts but I had better stop here. Good luck and enjoy the process!