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Not telling my friends that I love them. I was 28 the first time a friend told me "I love you" in a pure friendship way (and while sober), and without being a

Not telling my friends that I love them. I was 28 the first time a friend told me "I love you" in a pure friendship way (and while sober), and without being a part of a special situation. I've also done it afterwards, and because I had never told my friend i love them, it made the message even stronger. It feels wrong that we don't do this more often.

RobertRoberts 4y ago
I recently remembered to tell my kids "I like hanging out with you" or "this was nice being with you today". I did it a while back when I had a realization that my parents didn't like spending time with me and I didn't want my kids to feel that. But then I forgot for a time...
nlh 4y ago
This is truly wonderful. I do the same (even if it's sometimes just "love ya man").
- bckr 4y ago
  The difference in feeling between “I love you”, “love you”, “love you guys”, “love ya”, “all my love”, “much love” is actually striking.
intrasight 4y ago
Same. But specifically not initiating. I had a couple friends from way back who would say that and I would respond in kind. My change, later in life, was to be the first to say it - and with any good friend. For me the change was to be in a friend group of mostly women - who are generally more likely to share their feelings. Share the love.
e40 4y ago
I completely agree. It wasn't until my best friend got terminal cancer that we started saying it.
lame-robot-hoax 4y ago
I don’t feel comfortable telling people I love them outside of a serious relationship, so this always makes me feel a touch weird. Like, my best friends, I love them in a sense I guess…but I wouldn’t say that. It just doesn’t feel natural to me. I’d characterize our relationship as close, and that I care about them a lot, but “love” isn’t something that comes to mind outside of my parents or someone I’ve been in a long term relationship with. I’m not sure why. Maybe it has to do with being an only child. Maybe it has to do with all my grandparents dying when I was young, and not being that close with extended family, so there was never really anyone to love outside of my parents for the vast majority of my life prior to any long term relationships.
- kojeovo 4y ago
  Try it :)
- geocrasher 4y ago
  You need to understand that expressing love, and being in love are separate things. Saying "I love you" to one of your buddies doesn't mean you're lusting after them, just that you care about them in a deeper way. I still struggle with it, but I say "I love you, brutha!" or "love you, dude!" I'm also an only child. I wasn't told "I love you", I was told "shut up". Being able to say "I love you" to somebody in the context we're discussing has been a game changer for me. It's just so freeing.
  - lame-robot-hoax 4y ago
    I mean I very much understand the difference, as I said in my original comment, I don’t just see love as an intimate thing with a partner, but as a way to express love to…well…loved ones. Like parents or family. I guess I just have for the vast majority of my life only associated with expressing love and caring via saying “love you” to my parents, that it feels as if it’s almost reserved for them. And then of course the “in love” meaning is reserved for a relationship. Like, even when I’m around extended family that says love you, I just feel awkward and almost forced to respond with love you too back to them. Like I care for them of course…but I would never say I love you to one of them without them saying it to me first.

RobertRoberts 4y ago

I recently remembered to tell my kids "I like hanging out with you" or "this was nice being with you today". I did it a while back when I had a realization that my parents didn't like spending time with me and I didn't want my kids to feel that. But then I forgot for a time...

nlh 4y ago

This is truly wonderful. I do the same (even if it's sometimes just "love ya man").

bckr 4y ago
The difference in feeling between “I love you”, “love you”, “love you guys”, “love ya”, “all my love”, “much love” is actually striking.

intrasight 4y ago

Same. But specifically not initiating. I had a couple friends from way back who would say that and I would respond in kind. My change, later in life, was to be the first to say it - and with any good friend. For me the change was to be in a friend group of mostly women - who are generally more likely to share their feelings. Share the love.

e40 4y ago

I completely agree. It wasn't until my best friend got terminal cancer that we started saying it.

lame-robot-hoax 4y ago

I don’t feel comfortable telling people I love them outside of a serious relationship, so this always makes me feel a touch weird. Like, my best friends, I love them in a sense I guess…but I wouldn’t say that. It just doesn’t feel natural to me. I’d characterize our relationship as close, and that I care about them a lot, but “love” isn’t something that comes to mind outside of my parents or someone I’ve been in a long term relationship with. I’m not sure why. Maybe it has to do with being an only child. Maybe it has to do with all my grandparents dying when I was young, and not being that close with extended family, so there was never really anyone to love outside of my parents for the vast majority of my life prior to any long term relationships.

kojeovo 4y ago
Try it :)
geocrasher 4y ago
You need to understand that expressing love, and being in love are separate things. Saying "I love you" to one of your buddies doesn't mean you're lusting after them, just that you care about them in a deeper way. I still struggle with it, but I say "I love you, brutha!" or "love you, dude!" I'm also an only child. I wasn't told "I love you", I was told "shut up". Being able to say "I love you" to somebody in the context we're discussing has been a game changer for me. It's just so freeing.
- lame-robot-hoax 4y ago
  I mean I very much understand the difference, as I said in my original comment, I don’t just see love as an intimate thing with a partner, but as a way to express love to…well…loved ones. Like parents or family. I guess I just have for the vast majority of my life only associated with expressing love and caring via saying “love you” to my parents, that it feels as if it’s almost reserved for them. And then of course the “in love” meaning is reserved for a relationship. Like, even when I’m around extended family that says love you, I just feel awkward and almost forced to respond with love you too back to them. Like I care for them of course…but I would never say I love you to one of them without them saying it to me first.