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Didn't want to post from my main account to avoid any references and trails. It goes beyond just sexual harassment at work. I was accused by my ex wife. Even be

Didn't want to post from my main account to avoid any references and trails. It goes beyond just sexual harassment at work. I was accused by my ex wife. Even before any trials or anything: I lost my job, banks, housing and pretty much anything that requires a background check. I fought this for a year, and everything was dropped, because her friend came as witnesses and explained how she and my ex wife planned on setting me up, because I asked for divorce after found out about afair. Even with all charges dropped, case sealed, I guess background agencies still have record of it, and I still get rejected. The whole guilty until proven otherwise can ruin anyone's life, and the accusor in my case walked away completely untouched.

geysersam 4y ago
Why would a bank care if someone once accused you of a crime?
- notrealme1234 4y ago
  Because those type of crime considered as crime of moral turpitude and it's way easy to throw you under a bus than to have anything to do with you, probably mostly social aspect of it, and hight risk of repetition. Even with name cleared, it's easier to just avoid Edit: Don't usually wrap other people into this type of issues. But look at case of Justin Roiland, he was only charged, not even pre-trial and everyone from job to friends turned back on him (I don't judge he might or might not be guilty). But once you publicly accused you are guilty even if you proven innocent
- djtriptych 4y ago
  This was my question too. Pretty sure banks just never do background checks just to hold accounts.
  - notrealme1234 4y ago
    Hold account sure, debit card, easy. Credit cards, loans or mortgage good luck getting. Actually murder or financial crimes, and many other types of crime is tolerable by banks
    - djtriptych 4y ago
      yeah not credit cards either. What did you mean when you said you lost your banks?
Fire-Dragon-DoL 4y ago
Couldn't you sue for damage after that? It seems like you got a great damage and it was proven in court that it's been caused by a lie
- notrealme1234 4y ago
  Yes, in civil court. The DA office won't take on false accusations charges. Edit: I could sue her, but nothing will come of it, she's completely broke, alone and live rent free taking care of old lady with dementia. And as of me, idk, never held grudge or wanted any vengeance upon anyone, it's easier to just cut ties, and never be associated with her
  - thinking4real 4y ago
    You do you, but your inaction is going to ensure more and more men go through this.
    - underdeserver 4y ago
      More men are going to go through this regardless of whether he sues or not. I can't imagine people who would do this kind of thing being deterred by a small civil claims court case somewhere random.
      - thinking4real 4y ago
        It’s not deterred because the idea that men will actually stand up for themselves is so low. Mixed in with systemic sexism against men in the courts of course If you want to change that, men have to hold themselves accountable for protecting themselves against women. You might not like that reality, it’s not a good one, but it’s true.
        notrealme1234 4y ago
        Civil court cases don't change anything, it's just dispute. And I don't think it's issue with sexism against men. I think it's social and judicial issue. I think it's good that people can come out and without expecting any harm accuse someone who caused harm physically or emotionally. But you will have people who will try to exploit the system to gain some lavage. Do you think social view on me gonna change if she was charged with false accusations? Nope, many would say not only I got away with it but also got her into trouble. And it doesn't remove charges from whatever blacklist I'm on. Issue is deeper than just sexism.
atkailash 4y ago
[dead]
technick 4y ago
You can blame the #metoo movement for making it such a massive crime. I had a ex resurface in 2011 who was sadly addicted to drugs, she came to me for money. When I turned her away, she contacted the company I was working for (I was an outside contractor) with claims that I raped her when we were high school kids (1996). Shortly afterwards, I was notified my contract would be ending and I had to train my replacement. After contracting there for 3 years, it was not renewed and then I had to train my replacement?!?! I didn't have any real options to fight back and even if I sued her, she wouldn't have shown up and she hasn't had any real job outside of Walmart. The timeline of getting my contract not renewed was actually a chance for me to move across the country, something I had been wanting to do for over a year.
machina_ex_deus 4y ago
The real issue is that people stopped caring about whatever the justice system is going to decide. There's a new religion of social justice, and this religion is harsher than even the old religions. The old religions you were at least judged by an omnipotent being who could see the whole picture. This new woke religion have you judged by a dumb mob. Everyone's playing the judge and everyone's responsible to punishing everyone. As if punishing a bad person is a virtue. And as if there's nothing wrong about lynching an innocent person. And this is a direct result of lack of religion. The absence of religion isn't lack of oppression, it's oppression by a dumb blind mob. Religion isn't the truly primitive behavior, the truly primitive behavior is this dumb mob social justice that's spreading now.
- qikInNdOutReply 4y ago
  Its a synthetic religion, alright, but it wouldnt have spread that much, if people were happy with the old religions. At the core is the same mechanism working in other religions. Get the sexual different to provide matrimonial contract security (aka a proto law version), which now is replaced with a provide social security. I suspect, this is one of the reasons of record numbers of men dropping out of working society. When you goto work for nothing directly related to you, why work at all.. But at least it allows those enslaved for contract security, to remain free otherwise. And it is not as repressive when it comes to new things. I still vividly remember the demonization of video games and all things new by evanglical religions. No fiction allowed by those, who life in fiction. TL,DR; Yes, it is a religion, but of all the religions its the least worst.
  - zirgs 4y ago
    Old religions at least have forgiveness. You can confess your sins and repent. This new religion doesn't have anything like that.
    - qikInNdOutReply 4y ago
      Did they have that? Guess, some shizophrenic mother performing exorcisms on her daughter needs mercy every day. Did not felt very accepting though of artists and others who pushed the boundaries. Well at least there were books to read, endless versions of the bible - until just the ecyclopaedia becomes a mental save haven. Your dream might have been somebody elses nightmare?
gggggg5 4y ago
How would background check services get hold of this information before trial? Were you arrested? I'm sorry, but based on my experience with these systems, this sounds like a fake story. Even the detail about your bank accounts being closed doesn't add up at all.
- default_png 4y ago
  Look at the whole Adam Savage thing from a few years ago, All the court documents have the plaintiffs claims attached to them.. It adds up..
  - gggggg5 4y ago
    Are you saying that Adam Savage had his bank accounts closed? As far as I can tell, that was only a civil case and entirely different from the parent commenters story.
- notrealme1234 4y ago
  Arrest records and charges are public records. Maybe I wasn't very clear about banks - let me try clarify. I lost my house, and it was hard to find place to even rent because of background checks. And ex cashed all money from my saving accounts while I was arrested, since it was shared account, it was totally legal for her to do that. So I have no money, no car, no place to rent - nothing. Tried to open a credit card to get by, banks I tried refused me.
fennecfoxy 4y ago
And imagine, had that friend not come forward, you would've been screwed. People mostly assume chicks are the innocent party, people mostly assume men are the guilty party. And people's excuse is that men "do the most crime", but it's like: well what about male victims who are left in the dirt, what about the fact that men are also victims of the most crime as well.

geysersam 4y ago

Why would a bank care if someone once accused you of a crime?

notrealme1234 4y ago
Because those type of crime considered as crime of moral turpitude and it's way easy to throw you under a bus than to have anything to do with you, probably mostly social aspect of it, and hight risk of repetition. Even with name cleared, it's easier to just avoid Edit: Don't usually wrap other people into this type of issues. But look at case of Justin Roiland, he was only charged, not even pre-trial and everyone from job to friends turned back on him (I don't judge he might or might not be guilty). But once you publicly accused you are guilty even if you proven innocent
djtriptych 4y ago
This was my question too. Pretty sure banks just never do background checks just to hold accounts.
- notrealme1234 4y ago
  Hold account sure, debit card, easy. Credit cards, loans or mortgage good luck getting. Actually murder or financial crimes, and many other types of crime is tolerable by banks
  - djtriptych 4y ago
    yeah not credit cards either. What did you mean when you said you lost your banks?

Fire-Dragon-DoL 4y ago

Couldn't you sue for damage after that? It seems like you got a great damage and it was proven in court that it's been caused by a lie

notrealme1234 4y ago
Yes, in civil court. The DA office won't take on false accusations charges. Edit: I could sue her, but nothing will come of it, she's completely broke, alone and live rent free taking care of old lady with dementia. And as of me, idk, never held grudge or wanted any vengeance upon anyone, it's easier to just cut ties, and never be associated with her
- thinking4real 4y ago
  You do you, but your inaction is going to ensure more and more men go through this.
  - underdeserver 4y ago
    More men are going to go through this regardless of whether he sues or not. I can't imagine people who would do this kind of thing being deterred by a small civil claims court case somewhere random.
    - thinking4real 4y ago
      It’s not deterred because the idea that men will actually stand up for themselves is so low. Mixed in with systemic sexism against men in the courts of course If you want to change that, men have to hold themselves accountable for protecting themselves against women. You might not like that reality, it’s not a good one, but it’s true.
      - notrealme1234 4y ago
        Civil court cases don't change anything, it's just dispute. And I don't think it's issue with sexism against men. I think it's social and judicial issue. I think it's good that people can come out and without expecting any harm accuse someone who caused harm physically or emotionally. But you will have people who will try to exploit the system to gain some lavage. Do you think social view on me gonna change if she was charged with false accusations? Nope, many would say not only I got away with it but also got her into trouble. And it doesn't remove charges from whatever blacklist I'm on. Issue is deeper than just sexism.

atkailash 4y ago

[dead]

technick 4y ago

You can blame the #metoo movement for making it such a massive crime. I had a ex resurface in 2011 who was sadly addicted to drugs, she came to me for money. When I turned her away, she contacted the company I was working for (I was an outside contractor) with claims that I raped her when we were high school kids (1996). Shortly afterwards, I was notified my contract would be ending and I had to train my replacement. After contracting there for 3 years, it was not renewed and then I had to train my replacement?!?! I didn't have any real options to fight back and even if I sued her, she wouldn't have shown up and she hasn't had any real job outside of Walmart. The timeline of getting my contract not renewed was actually a chance for me to move across the country, something I had been wanting to do for over a year.

machina_ex_deus 4y ago

The real issue is that people stopped caring about whatever the justice system is going to decide. There's a new religion of social justice, and this religion is harsher than even the old religions. The old religions you were at least judged by an omnipotent being who could see the whole picture. This new woke religion have you judged by a dumb mob. Everyone's playing the judge and everyone's responsible to punishing everyone. As if punishing a bad person is a virtue. And as if there's nothing wrong about lynching an innocent person. And this is a direct result of lack of religion. The absence of religion isn't lack of oppression, it's oppression by a dumb blind mob. Religion isn't the truly primitive behavior, the truly primitive behavior is this dumb mob social justice that's spreading now.

qikInNdOutReply 4y ago
Its a synthetic religion, alright, but it wouldnt have spread that much, if people were happy with the old religions. At the core is the same mechanism working in other religions. Get the sexual different to provide matrimonial contract security (aka a proto law version), which now is replaced with a provide social security. I suspect, this is one of the reasons of record numbers of men dropping out of working society. When you goto work for nothing directly related to you, why work at all.. But at least it allows those enslaved for contract security, to remain free otherwise. And it is not as repressive when it comes to new things. I still vividly remember the demonization of video games and all things new by evanglical religions. No fiction allowed by those, who life in fiction. TL,DR; Yes, it is a religion, but of all the religions its the least worst.
- zirgs 4y ago
  Old religions at least have forgiveness. You can confess your sins and repent. This new religion doesn't have anything like that.
  - qikInNdOutReply 4y ago
    Did they have that? Guess, some shizophrenic mother performing exorcisms on her daughter needs mercy every day. Did not felt very accepting though of artists and others who pushed the boundaries. Well at least there were books to read, endless versions of the bible - until just the ecyclopaedia becomes a mental save haven. Your dream might have been somebody elses nightmare?

gggggg5 4y ago

How would background check services get hold of this information before trial? Were you arrested? I'm sorry, but based on my experience with these systems, this sounds like a fake story. Even the detail about your bank accounts being closed doesn't add up at all.

default_png 4y ago
Look at the whole Adam Savage thing from a few years ago, All the court documents have the plaintiffs claims attached to them.. It adds up..
- gggggg5 4y ago
  Are you saying that Adam Savage had his bank accounts closed? As far as I can tell, that was only a civil case and entirely different from the parent commenters story.
notrealme1234 4y ago
Arrest records and charges are public records. Maybe I wasn't very clear about banks - let me try clarify. I lost my house, and it was hard to find place to even rent because of background checks. And ex cashed all money from my saving accounts while I was arrested, since it was shared account, it was totally legal for her to do that. So I have no money, no car, no place to rent - nothing. Tried to open a credit card to get by, banks I tried refused me.

fennecfoxy 4y ago

And imagine, had that friend not come forward, you would've been screwed. People mostly assume chicks are the innocent party, people mostly assume men are the guilty party. And people's excuse is that men "do the most crime", but it's like: well what about male victims who are left in the dirt, what about the fact that men are also victims of the most crime as well.