You seem to want the real thing, that is, Debian. However, if you need something really small and fast, mostly for VMs or servers, although it can also be turn

You seem to want the real thing, that is, Debian. However, if you need something really small and fast, mostly for VMs or servers, although it can also be turned int a full fledged, still very resource efficient desktop, take also a look at Alpine Linux. Musl makes all the difference there. Then, should someone with no prior Linux experience ask you to install a desktop for them, I would go with Manjaro, which to me is the most straightforward, while still not bloated, for new users.