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Parents have responsibility to teach children to self-moderate what content they consume. Yes, I mean even the youngest kids. Do they have access to the interne

Parents have responsibility to teach children to self-moderate what content they consume. Yes, I mean even the youngest kids. Do they have access to the internet? If they want to see porn, they will see it - regardless of any content filters you put on. Kids are fully capable of using and understanding the need for and the high-level concepts behind VPNs by the time they are 7. They will get creative with their keywords and ways to see porn (e.g. erotic games that might not be caught by your filter). I've seen 10 year old kids use portable Tor browser to bypass school content filters. Anything else will lead to problems in later life (overconsumption of porn for example).

pyuser583 4y ago
At home, I block the internet at the router level - including VPNs. I also don’t give my daughter admin access. So even if she knew what a VPN was, she wouldn’t be able to use it.
- throwaway89713 4y ago
  I'm pretty sure a motivated kid would just need some time to bypass your filter. Don't underestimate children. If they can access the web, they can access porn. You'd have to block all - including HTTP(S) - traffic and even that covers just what happens at home. It might be as simple as connecting to the neighbor's open WiFi, the local McDonalds public WiFi, or their best friend's mobile data plan or their unrestricted home WiFi. There are HTTP proxies operating via port 80/443, full with an app just like a VPN. I've seen a 10 year old kid use a free SSH shell account (via port 80) to proxy their traffic. There was another kid who just used a public cloud provider's free tier and had a full desktop environment running there, accessed via some web VNC interface - that one was 12 y/o though. Regardless, you're just putting off the inevitable - and then it will be like a whole new overwhelmingly fascinating world has just opened, which is not great for a young mind not yet fully capable of moderation because you didn't allow them to practice it. > I also don’t give my daughter admin access Kids can boot Linux from USB too.
  - aaomidi 4y ago
    Yeah I grew up in Iran. There’s really not much you can do to completely ban everything. All you’re doing is creating mistrust between you and your kids. Your kid is far far more susceptible to being groomed etc if you have draconian parenting policies.
    - kQq9oHeAz6wLLS 4y ago
      It's unlikely that a single paragraph covers OPs entire parenting method. At best we're seeing one small part. For all we know, they have regular conversations about why some content is blocked, thus making it more of a collaboration.
      - progman32 4y ago
        Thanks for the reminder to remain curious. Perhaps OP would be interested in sharing more. This is a discussion site, after all. I'm honestly a little surprised that things have remained mostly civil in this discussion page. Credit to HN's culture and the moderation team.
        pyuser583 4y ago
        My philosophy to keep rules simple. She gets a certain amount of internet time. I also place restrictions on types of media. For example, she loves listening to techno-pop music, but that’s not allowed a less than an hour before bedtime. So there’s a de facto “no music an hour before bed rule.” Kids YouTube is treated like a very low quality tv service. She gets a certain amount of “video time” but I allow more time if she uses an established steaming service (Netflix, etc). She’s allowed to see content creates adults pretty freely. She can also talk to her friends pretty freely. I am very restrictive when it comes to communicating with unknown “children” online. Kids social media platforms attract predators. Some predators are grownups, some are toxic other kids. Ik actually much more worried about “child” content than “adult” content. Filtering only works on domains. But most content these days in on a handful of forums (FB, etc). I require her to preserve her browsing history. I review it if I feel there’s a reason to (she’s not good at being sneaky), We don’t talk about the content, because she mostly just listens to techo-pop and plays browser games. If it seems she’s hanging out in a toxic forum, I’ll discuss it with her, but also be firm about blocking it. Understand, I’m most worried about making sure my daughter gets her homework done, does some reading, and gets a good night sleep. The internets main threat is as a distraction from that.
- redeeman 4y ago
  I am genuinely interrested in what makes you have this draconian policy? are all doors and windows locked aswell? are you with her 24/7? is there no way she would be able to leave the premises even if she wanted to? I accept that you have a right to parent any way you want, but I cannot possibly see how this benefits anyone, least of all your kids
  - aaomidi 4y ago
    Parents don’t and shouldn’t have the right to parent anyway they want. Most parents are okay, but there’s a non zero number of really fucked up parents. Parents should have classes, and resources to help them be good parents. And bad parents should be at best made aware, and at worst ridiculed for their bad parenting decisions. There are still a sizable number of American parents that think spanking their kids is okay. This is something that most of the modern world has completely moved away from and criminalized. So yeah, not everything should be ok.
    - pyuser583 4y ago
      Every resource I’m seen says “Make sure you monitor and control your child’s Internet access. There are dangerous websites and people online.”
  - pyuser583 4y ago
    What makes you think my approach is Draconian? I filter at the router level because that’s the most effective way to filter. I think that’s a best practice. I deny her root access because she has and would install anything the Internet asks her to install. She’s a kid! Where do you think I’m crossing a line?
    - kQq9oHeAz6wLLS 4y ago
      Ignore the armchair parents. You don't even know if they have the experience to criticize.

pyuser583 4y ago

At home, I block the internet at the router level - including VPNs. I also don’t give my daughter admin access. So even if she knew what a VPN was, she wouldn’t be able to use it.

throwaway89713 4y ago
I'm pretty sure a motivated kid would just need some time to bypass your filter. Don't underestimate children. If they can access the web, they can access porn. You'd have to block all - including HTTP(S) - traffic and even that covers just what happens at home. It might be as simple as connecting to the neighbor's open WiFi, the local McDonalds public WiFi, or their best friend's mobile data plan or their unrestricted home WiFi. There are HTTP proxies operating via port 80/443, full with an app just like a VPN. I've seen a 10 year old kid use a free SSH shell account (via port 80) to proxy their traffic. There was another kid who just used a public cloud provider's free tier and had a full desktop environment running there, accessed via some web VNC interface - that one was 12 y/o though. Regardless, you're just putting off the inevitable - and then it will be like a whole new overwhelmingly fascinating world has just opened, which is not great for a young mind not yet fully capable of moderation because you didn't allow them to practice it. > I also don’t give my daughter admin access Kids can boot Linux from USB too.
- aaomidi 4y ago
  Yeah I grew up in Iran. There’s really not much you can do to completely ban everything. All you’re doing is creating mistrust between you and your kids. Your kid is far far more susceptible to being groomed etc if you have draconian parenting policies.
  - kQq9oHeAz6wLLS 4y ago
    It's unlikely that a single paragraph covers OPs entire parenting method. At best we're seeing one small part. For all we know, they have regular conversations about why some content is blocked, thus making it more of a collaboration.
    - progman32 4y ago
      Thanks for the reminder to remain curious. Perhaps OP would be interested in sharing more. This is a discussion site, after all. I'm honestly a little surprised that things have remained mostly civil in this discussion page. Credit to HN's culture and the moderation team.
      - pyuser583 4y ago
        My philosophy to keep rules simple. She gets a certain amount of internet time. I also place restrictions on types of media. For example, she loves listening to techno-pop music, but that’s not allowed a less than an hour before bedtime. So there’s a de facto “no music an hour before bed rule.” Kids YouTube is treated like a very low quality tv service. She gets a certain amount of “video time” but I allow more time if she uses an established steaming service (Netflix, etc). She’s allowed to see content creates adults pretty freely. She can also talk to her friends pretty freely. I am very restrictive when it comes to communicating with unknown “children” online. Kids social media platforms attract predators. Some predators are grownups, some are toxic other kids. Ik actually much more worried about “child” content than “adult” content. Filtering only works on domains. But most content these days in on a handful of forums (FB, etc). I require her to preserve her browsing history. I review it if I feel there’s a reason to (she’s not good at being sneaky), We don’t talk about the content, because she mostly just listens to techo-pop and plays browser games. If it seems she’s hanging out in a toxic forum, I’ll discuss it with her, but also be firm about blocking it. Understand, I’m most worried about making sure my daughter gets her homework done, does some reading, and gets a good night sleep. The internets main threat is as a distraction from that.
redeeman 4y ago
I am genuinely interrested in what makes you have this draconian policy? are all doors and windows locked aswell? are you with her 24/7? is there no way she would be able to leave the premises even if she wanted to? I accept that you have a right to parent any way you want, but I cannot possibly see how this benefits anyone, least of all your kids
- aaomidi 4y ago
  Parents don’t and shouldn’t have the right to parent anyway they want. Most parents are okay, but there’s a non zero number of really fucked up parents. Parents should have classes, and resources to help them be good parents. And bad parents should be at best made aware, and at worst ridiculed for their bad parenting decisions. There are still a sizable number of American parents that think spanking their kids is okay. This is something that most of the modern world has completely moved away from and criminalized. So yeah, not everything should be ok.
  - pyuser583 4y ago
    Every resource I’m seen says “Make sure you monitor and control your child’s Internet access. There are dangerous websites and people online.”
- pyuser583 4y ago
  What makes you think my approach is Draconian? I filter at the router level because that’s the most effective way to filter. I think that’s a best practice. I deny her root access because she has and would install anything the Internet asks her to install. She’s a kid! Where do you think I’m crossing a line?
  - kQq9oHeAz6wLLS 4y ago
    Ignore the armchair parents. You don't even know if they have the experience to criticize.