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There are definitely companies out there that ruthlessly exploit such enlightenment.

by mikrl 4y ago

Drakim 4y ago
That is indeed a concern, but I've found that if you act in good faith and kindness most of the time, but just throw in a tiny bit of skepticism, you can filter out such abuse most of the time. It's not a good idea to go though life bitter, angry, suspicious and angry at the world and everybody around you because you fear that someday down the line in many years somebody might exploit your kindness.
plaguepilled 4y ago
Definitely true. However, I think in such an instance you would need to consider yourself as a truly valid recipient of grace and care, and quit the moment you detect exploitation like that.
Gene_Parmesan 4y ago
I see an unfortunate number of people who seem to think that the only way to not get taken advantage of in life is to be cynical, and that living with empathy and joy is equivalent to allowing yourself to get walked over. In my worldview/self-understanding, having solid boundaries is a core requirement of living joyfully. You have to love yourself in order to live joyfully, and having & enforcing clear boundaries is a requirement of loving yourself (where love is used as an active verb). Allowing someone else -- a company or a person -- to violate your boundaries is not compatible with actualized self love. The main goal is peaceful contentment regardless of what the world does. Pursuing happiness as in euphoria is a fool's errand. Euphoric feelings are not something we can ever generate on demand. Instead, the goal is to control what you can, which is only ever your response to the world. There's a sense in which this feels selfish -- which it is, but that's okay. I would say one thing companies certainly do is try to make people feel guilty for prioritizing their own mental health and wellness. Don't let them do that. Having boundaries at work is not something to be guilty about. For instance, I do not work more than 40 hours in a week without abnormal extenuating circumstances. I've made that extremely clear to management. I've certainly had a supervisor or two try to push the envelope, but I just make sure to not let the envelope get pushed. That doesn't mean I'm not living joyfully or with empathy. I can enforce my boundary without getting defensive, guilty, angry, or any other negative feeling. In fact, I've found that me pushing back goes much more smoothly when I do so calmly and without anger or defensiveness. By the way, no one's saying this is easy. What happens when a family member dies suddenly? No one in existence can prevent themselves from having an uncontrolled negative emotional reaction to tragedy. That's okay. Perfection is not the goal, just continual improvement.

There are definitely companies out there that ruthlessly exploit such enlightenment.

by mikrl 4y ago

There are definitely companies out there that ruthlessly exploit such enlightenment.

That is indeed a concern, but I've found that if you act in good faith and kindness most of the time, but just throw in a tiny bit of skepticism, you can filter out such abuse most of the time. It's not a good idea to go though life bitter, angry, suspicious and angry at the world and everybody around you because you fear that someday down the line in many years somebody might exploit your kindness.

plaguepilled 4y ago

Definitely true. However, I think in such an instance you would need to consider yourself as a truly valid recipient of grace and care, and quit the moment you detect exploitation like that.

Gene_Parmesan 4y ago

I see an unfortunate number of people who seem to think that the only way to not get taken advantage of in life is to be cynical, and that living with empathy and joy is equivalent to allowing yourself to get walked over. In my worldview/self-understanding, having solid boundaries is a core requirement of living joyfully. You have to love yourself in order to live joyfully, and having & enforcing clear boundaries is a requirement of loving yourself (where love is used as an active verb). Allowing someone else -- a company or a person -- to violate your boundaries is not compatible with actualized self love. The main goal is peaceful contentment regardless of what the world does. Pursuing happiness as in euphoria is a fool's errand. Euphoric feelings are not something we can ever generate on demand. Instead, the goal is to control what you can, which is only ever your response to the world. There's a sense in which this feels selfish -- which it is, but that's okay. I would say one thing companies certainly do is try to make people feel guilty for prioritizing their own mental health and wellness. Don't let them do that. Having boundaries at work is not something to be guilty about. For instance, I do not work more than 40 hours in a week without abnormal extenuating circumstances. I've made that extremely clear to management. I've certainly had a supervisor or two try to push the envelope, but I just make sure to not let the envelope get pushed. That doesn't mean I'm not living joyfully or with empathy. I can enforce my boundary without getting defensive, guilty, angry, or any other negative feeling. In fact, I've found that me pushing back goes much more smoothly when I do so calmly and without anger or defensiveness. By the way, no one's saying this is easy. What happens when a family member dies suddenly? No one in existence can prevent themselves from having an uncontrolled negative emotional reaction to tragedy. That's okay. Perfection is not the goal, just continual improvement.