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> and when I bring em somewhere it's pretty difficult to get it running How much time do these friends spend in social situations with women where the goal isn

by ska 4y ago

> and when I bring em somewhere it's pretty difficult to get it running How much time do these friends spend in social situations with women where the goal isn't to get laid/find a girlfriend? I don't know your friends, but have known people in similar situations. In all those cases, their were others in our social circles who looked worse "on paper" but had no real difficulties here - it wasn't really about attractiveness or intelligence, but about behavior and/or expectations.

avmich 4y ago
> How much time do these friends spend in social situations with women where the goal isn't to get laid/find a girlfriend? Sometimes it's all available time. Which could be really small or none at all. Behavior could be significantly affected by proximity with women, when you're in certain age and experience. It's described in the literature, for here it could be said a social - social - situation with women where the goal isn't to get laid/find a girlfriend - and where such goal doesn't quickly appear and supersedes whatever other goals there were - could be rare to find.
- ska 4y ago
  It shouldn’t be rare though (assuming US cultural norms). If it is, that might be a big part of the root problem.
  - avmich 4y ago
    What norms have to do with this? Imagine that whenever a man is in proximity of women it's like a loud signal which doesn't go away, and he needs to concentrate on anything else to avoid following the noise. It's irrelevant which cultural norms are around.
    - ska 4y ago
      Cultural norm meaning it is normal to be in social contexts with mixed groups of genders without it being primarily sexual, and generally expected of people. There are countries and cultures where this is not true, which makes mixed gender interactions different. > Imagine that whenever a man is in proximity of women it's like a loud signal which doesn't go away, This is not normal, and may point to deeper problems.

by ska 4y ago

avmich 4y ago

> How much time do these friends spend in social situations with women where the goal isn't to get laid/find a girlfriend? Sometimes it's all available time. Which could be really small or none at all. Behavior could be significantly affected by proximity with women, when you're in certain age and experience. It's described in the literature, for here it could be said a social - social - situation with women where the goal isn't to get laid/find a girlfriend - and where such goal doesn't quickly appear and supersedes whatever other goals there were - could be rare to find.

ska 4y ago
It shouldn’t be rare though (assuming US cultural norms). If it is, that might be a big part of the root problem.
- avmich 4y ago
  What norms have to do with this? Imagine that whenever a man is in proximity of women it's like a loud signal which doesn't go away, and he needs to concentrate on anything else to avoid following the noise. It's irrelevant which cultural norms are around.
  - ska 4y ago
    Cultural norm meaning it is normal to be in social contexts with mixed groups of genders without it being primarily sexual, and generally expected of people. There are countries and cultures where this is not true, which makes mixed gender interactions different. > Imagine that whenever a man is in proximity of women it's like a loud signal which doesn't go away, This is not normal, and may point to deeper problems.