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But the people experiencing sexual loneliness aren't bad boyfriends and husbands. They can't even get a significant other or spouse. Counterintuitively, being a

But the people experiencing sexual loneliness aren't bad boyfriends and husbands. They can't even get a significant other or spouse. Counterintuitively, being a disagreeable or even abusive partner is positively correlated with sexual success: https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/08/31/radicalizing-the-romanceless/ https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/08/31/radicalizing-the-roman...

apeace 4y ago
That blog post is -- and this is putting it charitably -- so horribly misguided and confused I hardly know where to begin. I'll just say: > being a disagreeable or even abusive partner is positively correlated with sexual success Citation needed. That blog post does not provide anything resembling evidence of your claim. For your sake, I hope you're not basing your views on sites like that.
- Manuel_D 4y ago
  > That blog post is -- and this is putting it charitably -- so horribly misguided and confused I hardly know where to begin. The post is horribly misguided and confused. Yet despite being so horrible you can't bother to explain what's bad about it? It always amuses me something is evidently so horrible as to warrant this language, but apparently not quite horrible enough to actually explain why. Ultimately, i'm not really looking to make an empirical claim here. Just read this sentence a few times and maybe the contradiction will make sense: > the sheer number of terrible boyfriends/husbands is jaw-dropping. If someone is a boyfriend or a husband, they are by definition not single.
  - apeace 4y ago
    Don't you think the "Am I The Asshole" subreddit is going to have a bit of a selection bias towards describing men who are assholes? You seem to be using AITA as evidence that some huge percentage of women want to date/marry asshole/abusive men. It does not provide evidence of that. You and the article you linked are suggesting a correlation between being an abusive/asshole man and having a large number of women want to have sex with you. But there is no such correlation. It's false. I just want you and anyone else who ever comes across this part of the thread to not believe in such garbage.
    - Manuel_D 4y ago
      And you conclude that this is incorrect and garbage on the grounds of what, exactly? I'm more inclined to believe the licensed psychiatrist over a random internet commenter.
      - wpietri 4y ago
        That guy is not just some random licensed psychiatrist, and I have a hard time taking seriously anybody who tries to pretend he is.
      - apeace 4y ago
        To spare the HN community from this whole discussion, feel free to find my contact info in my profile. We can have a respectful debate over email if you want. I will just end by saying, you are the one making claims which require evidence to back them up. Especially on a site like HN, it is a good idea to provide evidence for broad, sweeping claims. Or else dial those claims back.
        Manuel_D 4y ago
        I shared a source making this claim. You don't think it's a good source, which is a totally valid position, but you've not shared any evidence for this assertion. It'd be good to follow your own advice and back up your own claims with evidence, or dial back your claims about the blog. I'm really baffled why someone who called a piece of writing "horrible guided and confused" with nothing to back that claim up is in any position to lecture someone else about substantiating claims with evidence
        apeace 4y ago
        As I said, I'd be happy to continue a respectful debate over email. Please engage me in that way, so that we can help each other and understand each other. This web site is not the right venue to continue this debate ad nauseam. I would like to respond to many of the things that you have said, but it doesn't make sense for us to do it on HN. If you really feel strongly about keeping the discourse public, you can always make a new HN submission showing our emails. Again, my contact is in my profile. Whether or not we continue to talk, I wish you all the best.

apeace 4y ago

That blog post is -- and this is putting it charitably -- so horribly misguided and confused I hardly know where to begin. I'll just say: > being a disagreeable or even abusive partner is positively correlated with sexual success Citation needed. That blog post does not provide anything resembling evidence of your claim. For your sake, I hope you're not basing your views on sites like that.

Manuel_D 4y ago
> That blog post is -- and this is putting it charitably -- so horribly misguided and confused I hardly know where to begin. The post is horribly misguided and confused. Yet despite being so horrible you can't bother to explain what's bad about it? It always amuses me something is evidently so horrible as to warrant this language, but apparently not quite horrible enough to actually explain why. Ultimately, i'm not really looking to make an empirical claim here. Just read this sentence a few times and maybe the contradiction will make sense: > the sheer number of terrible boyfriends/husbands is jaw-dropping. If someone is a boyfriend or a husband, they are by definition not single.
- apeace 4y ago
  Don't you think the "Am I The Asshole" subreddit is going to have a bit of a selection bias towards describing men who are assholes? You seem to be using AITA as evidence that some huge percentage of women want to date/marry asshole/abusive men. It does not provide evidence of that. You and the article you linked are suggesting a correlation between being an abusive/asshole man and having a large number of women want to have sex with you. But there is no such correlation. It's false. I just want you and anyone else who ever comes across this part of the thread to not believe in such garbage.
  - Manuel_D 4y ago
    And you conclude that this is incorrect and garbage on the grounds of what, exactly? I'm more inclined to believe the licensed psychiatrist over a random internet commenter.
    - wpietri 4y ago
      That guy is not just some random licensed psychiatrist, and I have a hard time taking seriously anybody who tries to pretend he is.
    - apeace 4y ago
      To spare the HN community from this whole discussion, feel free to find my contact info in my profile. We can have a respectful debate over email if you want. I will just end by saying, you are the one making claims which require evidence to back them up. Especially on a site like HN, it is a good idea to provide evidence for broad, sweeping claims. Or else dial those claims back.
      - Manuel_D 4y ago
        I shared a source making this claim. You don't think it's a good source, which is a totally valid position, but you've not shared any evidence for this assertion. It'd be good to follow your own advice and back up your own claims with evidence, or dial back your claims about the blog. I'm really baffled why someone who called a piece of writing "horrible guided and confused" with nothing to back that claim up is in any position to lecture someone else about substantiating claims with evidence
        apeace 4y ago
        As I said, I'd be happy to continue a respectful debate over email. Please engage me in that way, so that we can help each other and understand each other. This web site is not the right venue to continue this debate ad nauseam. I would like to respond to many of the things that you have said, but it doesn't make sense for us to do it on HN. If you really feel strongly about keeping the discourse public, you can always make a new HN submission showing our emails. Again, my contact is in my profile. Whether or not we continue to talk, I wish you all the best.