4 ms·

And to the list the once more common community places, like church which pretty much disappearing from modern life (at least in the US and Europe). I'm not reli

And to the list the once more common community places, like church which pretty much disappearing from modern life (at least in the US and Europe). I'm not religious but more and more I think that church as a community place back then had a postive effect on local communites.

mixmastamyk 4y ago
Classes at the community college probably more useful these days.
- Qem 4y ago
  Tried to get back to university as a means to socialize more, in my 30s. It didn't work as intended, because attending classes while holding a day job left very little time for actual socialization with my colleagues. Ended giving up. I think it would have worked better with more free time to invest on it.
  - mixmastamyk 4y ago
    Pick easier classes I guess? Less Calc III and more photography and ceramics. Something the target sex is over-represented in.
    - Qem 4y ago
      It's not difficulty level, more like just raw time. Most social interaction occurs while hanging on between classes, while having lunch, paying a visit to the library, et cetera. It doesn't work when you rush in to the class and then rush out back to job soon after. Just hanging around people and getting to know them takes time.
benj111 4y ago
So church is a place you can go to hook up and have sex? They seem to be underselling that feature.
- bryanlarsen 4y ago
  Google "Mormon soaking".
- agentwiggles 4y ago
  I'm going to answer assuming you're not being deliberately obtuse: Yes. Obviously it's not a bar where you're looking for a one night stand or a casual hookup. But churches as a general rule encourage their congregations to get together in a myriad of social settings. So yeah, if you were looking to meet a person who shared similar beliefs and values to you, joining a church would be a pretty decent way to get frequent exposition to those people. I don't attend a church now, but my parents were heavily involved in our local Catholic church when I was a kid. Not a week went by where I wasn't taken to some sort of social event - fish fries, Sunday 'socials' (i.e. donuts and coffee after mass), volunteering opportunities. Not to mention just general small talk after services. If you didn't grow up religious, it's really hard to oversell just how much church events are part of your life, and how much the people you meet can become a community for your family. My dad loves to tell a story of how one year they gave a family friend a few hundred dollars around Christmas, because they knew the guy had just lost his job. A few years later, unprompted, they returned the favor, at a time that turned out to be really helpful for my family. I don't take my family to church but I do really miss the communal aspects of the whole enterprise, and wish there was a good way to get a similar vibe without the aspects of religion I don't like. But I think there is something special about a group of people with a shared commitment to a set of beliefs that makes the upsides of church difficult to replicate in secular settings. YMMV. Just my own experience and rambling.
  - benj111 4y ago
    >I'm going to answer assuming you're not being deliberately obtuse. Wrong assumption. I was attempting to be humourous. But yes I could see how you could find a life partner at church.
  - trevyn 4y ago
    >I don't take my family to church but I do really miss the communal aspects of the whole enterprise, and wish there was a good way to get a similar vibe without the aspects of religion I don't like. Maybe there's a Unitarian Universalist congregation near you? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unitarian_Universalism https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unitarian_Universalism
brewdad 4y ago
Even the places where church is still a significant part of the social fabric have trended towards the mega-church format. It’s the difference between trying to get to know someone in your 30 person section course versus the 800 person lecture hall.
halfnormalform 4y ago
Unless you're part of the community the church rejected!

mixmastamyk 4y ago

Classes at the community college probably more useful these days.

Qem 4y ago
Tried to get back to university as a means to socialize more, in my 30s. It didn't work as intended, because attending classes while holding a day job left very little time for actual socialization with my colleagues. Ended giving up. I think it would have worked better with more free time to invest on it.
- mixmastamyk 4y ago
  Pick easier classes I guess? Less Calc III and more photography and ceramics. Something the target sex is over-represented in.
  - Qem 4y ago
    It's not difficulty level, more like just raw time. Most social interaction occurs while hanging on between classes, while having lunch, paying a visit to the library, et cetera. It doesn't work when you rush in to the class and then rush out back to job soon after. Just hanging around people and getting to know them takes time.

benj111 4y ago

So church is a place you can go to hook up and have sex? They seem to be underselling that feature.

bryanlarsen 4y ago
Google "Mormon soaking".
agentwiggles 4y ago
I'm going to answer assuming you're not being deliberately obtuse: Yes. Obviously it's not a bar where you're looking for a one night stand or a casual hookup. But churches as a general rule encourage their congregations to get together in a myriad of social settings. So yeah, if you were looking to meet a person who shared similar beliefs and values to you, joining a church would be a pretty decent way to get frequent exposition to those people. I don't attend a church now, but my parents were heavily involved in our local Catholic church when I was a kid. Not a week went by where I wasn't taken to some sort of social event - fish fries, Sunday 'socials' (i.e. donuts and coffee after mass), volunteering opportunities. Not to mention just general small talk after services. If you didn't grow up religious, it's really hard to oversell just how much church events are part of your life, and how much the people you meet can become a community for your family. My dad loves to tell a story of how one year they gave a family friend a few hundred dollars around Christmas, because they knew the guy had just lost his job. A few years later, unprompted, they returned the favor, at a time that turned out to be really helpful for my family. I don't take my family to church but I do really miss the communal aspects of the whole enterprise, and wish there was a good way to get a similar vibe without the aspects of religion I don't like. But I think there is something special about a group of people with a shared commitment to a set of beliefs that makes the upsides of church difficult to replicate in secular settings. YMMV. Just my own experience and rambling.
- benj111 4y ago
  >I'm going to answer assuming you're not being deliberately obtuse. Wrong assumption. I was attempting to be humourous. But yes I could see how you could find a life partner at church.
- trevyn 4y ago
  >I don't take my family to church but I do really miss the communal aspects of the whole enterprise, and wish there was a good way to get a similar vibe without the aspects of religion I don't like. Maybe there's a Unitarian Universalist congregation near you? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unitarian_Universalism https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unitarian_Universalism

brewdad 4y ago

Even the places where church is still a significant part of the social fabric have trended towards the mega-church format. It’s the difference between trying to get to know someone in your 30 person section course versus the 800 person lecture hall.

halfnormalform 4y ago

Unless you're part of the community the church rejected!