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Yeah, but you don't have deal with her problem which is an inbox flooded with random noise. It might be flattering for a minute but after that I'm sure it's a b

Yeah, but you don't have deal with her problem which is an inbox flooded with random noise. It might be flattering for a minute but after that I'm sure it's a burden not much lighter than the empty inbox. Besides, as long as you get those few responses, that will be enough for all but the most active and adventurous daters. There are only so many hours in the day.

jbuhbjlnjbn 4y ago
Downvoting my comments does not make them less valid. You could actually test your hypothesis,make yourself deliberately less desirable, then check the reactions and what that does to your self esteem. Some anecdotal evidence from a female who wrote a book about it https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-Made_Man_(book) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-Made_Man_(book)
jbuhbjlnjbn 4y ago
>It might be flattering for a minute but after that I'm sure it's a burden not much lighter than the empty inbox. I guess some things have to be experienced for real understanding. No, this is surely not a burden by any measure, it is a huge privilege.
- evilduck 4y ago
  Feels like there's a strong analog between tech careers and recruiters and men and women in the online dating scene. In tech, fending recruiters off with a stick is far less of a burden and stress than being unemployed or permanently underemployed or underpaid in a different field. It's annoying, sure, but it's not going to cause you depression to have so many people showing interest in you, it validates some amount of self-worth. Recruiters also take an approach to recruitment very similarly to men in online dating, treating it as a numbers game and where they don't care about candidate quality before first contact. Blast out interest and feelers indiscriminately to anyone and then evaluate the quality of those who respond and be happy to settle for any commission in the end. Both are broken processes of course, but the power dynamics seem similar.
  - jbuhbjlnjbn 4y ago
    Yes. Female dating behavior is skewed and recruiting is skewed in a similar way. They might actually be related... "Human resources" people are overly female. Maybe they just apply their normal behavior and experience to work?

jbuhbjlnjbn 4y ago

Downvoting my comments does not make them less valid. You could actually test your hypothesis,make yourself deliberately less desirable, then check the reactions and what that does to your self esteem. Some anecdotal evidence from a female who wrote a book about it https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-Made_Man_(book) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-Made_Man_(book)

jbuhbjlnjbn 4y ago

>It might be flattering for a minute but after that I'm sure it's a burden not much lighter than the empty inbox. I guess some things have to be experienced for real understanding. No, this is surely not a burden by any measure, it is a huge privilege.

evilduck 4y ago
Feels like there's a strong analog between tech careers and recruiters and men and women in the online dating scene. In tech, fending recruiters off with a stick is far less of a burden and stress than being unemployed or permanently underemployed or underpaid in a different field. It's annoying, sure, but it's not going to cause you depression to have so many people showing interest in you, it validates some amount of self-worth. Recruiters also take an approach to recruitment very similarly to men in online dating, treating it as a numbers game and where they don't care about candidate quality before first contact. Blast out interest and feelers indiscriminately to anyone and then evaluate the quality of those who respond and be happy to settle for any commission in the end. Both are broken processes of course, but the power dynamics seem similar.
- jbuhbjlnjbn 4y ago
  Yes. Female dating behavior is skewed and recruiting is skewed in a similar way. They might actually be related... "Human resources" people are overly female. Maybe they just apply their normal behavior and experience to work?