If I drink to a very buzzed state three nights in a row, I become palpably depressed, irritable, and anxious. If something bad happens during this time, it cuts

If I drink to a very buzzed state three nights in a row, I become palpably depressed, irritable, and anxious. If something bad happens during this time, it cuts deep and feels overwhelming. All of the negative things in my life become tormenting devils. It takes about 24 hours of sobriety for me to begin to feel normal again, and at least 48 to feel I am at my normal baseline. I always assumed the alcohol was depleting my serotonin. Beyond that, most of my depression seems to be due to my heroic and idealistic self raging and wallowing in the chasm between my ideals and hard realities that I cannot defeat.