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How do you get a layer of butter on your kitchen ? Not a native English speaker so maybe this sounds natural to people - but to me it sounds like bad wording.

How do you get a layer of butter on your kitchen ? Not a native English speaker so maybe this sounds natural to people - but to me it sounds like bad wording. It paints the wrong picture and is not kids friendly wording IMO.

Jolter 4y ago
What about it seems “not kids friendly” to you? I don’t see the problem.
- wildrhythms 4y ago
  'On your kitchen' is not something most English speakers would say; they would say 'in your kitchen'. Otherwise it seems like the butter is 'on top of' the kitchen, like on the roof. And instead of 'your kitchen' it would be 'the kitchen', since the story takes place at the house of the characters in the story and not the reader's house. Also usually children's books are much more descriptive: "Butter went everywhere! On the ceiling, on the floor, on the refrigerator, on the toaster..." And to the point of not being kids friendly, imagine your child has this book read to them, and you find the next day that they've illustratively covered your own kitchen in butter... Most children's stories are written in a way that spells out danger or bad behavior meaningfully.
  - moonchrome 4y ago
    The wording part is my fault - I didn't think about on vs in, in my mind it would be on the walls and stuff / kitchen is the insides of the room - but I can see how that's maybe not appropriate. The exact quote is : >But then she noticed something even stranger - her kitchen was covered in a thick layer of butter. vs >Butter went everywhere! On the ceiling, on the floor, on the refrigerator, on the toaster Your phrasing sounds like something I'd read to my son and I could see him repeating all the items and adding some of his own.
- moonchrome 4y ago
  I don't know, I'm imagining reading this to my two year old and using the words like "layer" seems pointlessly complicated. The story seems too silly for a child with better vocabulary. I could be off.

Jolter 4y ago

What about it seems “not kids friendly” to you? I don’t see the problem.

wildrhythms 4y ago
'On your kitchen' is not something most English speakers would say; they would say 'in your kitchen'. Otherwise it seems like the butter is 'on top of' the kitchen, like on the roof. And instead of 'your kitchen' it would be 'the kitchen', since the story takes place at the house of the characters in the story and not the reader's house. Also usually children's books are much more descriptive: "Butter went everywhere! On the ceiling, on the floor, on the refrigerator, on the toaster..." And to the point of not being kids friendly, imagine your child has this book read to them, and you find the next day that they've illustratively covered your own kitchen in butter... Most children's stories are written in a way that spells out danger or bad behavior meaningfully.
- moonchrome 4y ago
  The wording part is my fault - I didn't think about on vs in, in my mind it would be on the walls and stuff / kitchen is the insides of the room - but I can see how that's maybe not appropriate. The exact quote is : >But then she noticed something even stranger - her kitchen was covered in a thick layer of butter. vs >Butter went everywhere! On the ceiling, on the floor, on the refrigerator, on the toaster Your phrasing sounds like something I'd read to my son and I could see him repeating all the items and adding some of his own.
moonchrome 4y ago
I don't know, I'm imagining reading this to my two year old and using the words like "layer" seems pointlessly complicated. The story seems too silly for a child with better vocabulary. I could be off.