You must be a blast at parties held by the professionally offended. Wrong scale of time. Comments take <2 minutes. Reading an article can take >10 minutes. Add

You must be a blast at parties held by the professionally offended. Wrong scale of time. Comments take <2 minutes. Reading an article can take >10 minutes. Additionally, the complaining is less than 5% of my commenting time. I use it mainly to bolster opinions not already commended.