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Where did you travel ? I had the chance to move around a lot and my social alcoholism made my spend lot of time in seedy places where someone pour out booze.

Where did you travel ? I had the chance to move around a lot and my social alcoholism made my spend lot of time in seedy places where someone pour out booze. In all those places, paying more money is just bad taste. A way to get what you describe is ( in my personal experience ) - smile - be young and / or attractive - being visibly in distress - being polite and patient in the face of another rude customer - make some jokes, not in English but in the language people speak where you are - have a dog / a kid - show that you have some humors and are not an asshole. With all due respect, paying more and displaying extra wealth is a good way to be classified in the easy to dupe category. In some language due to post WW2 wealth, some folks say “an American” like “do you think I’m American or what ?”

noduerme 4y ago
mmmm... it depends on the country, and the style, so all of the things you say are true. Simply leaving a big tip means nothing. And being an asshole overrides everything - never a good idea. I am also a social alcoholic! Hi! But if you have established communication with your waiter / bartender / blackjack dealer, and you leave them some extra, it is much more appreciated outside the US. Especially if they see you more than a couple times. Whether you are young and attractive or not, although of course that helps. Does losing $5,000 alone on a blackjack table in Prague because you're depressed, and then smiling and tipping your dealer constitute visible distress? I can't say it's always a financially wise strategy.
- courgette 4y ago
  Hi, I’m sure you would constitute a great bar neighbor :) I just spend a few minute refining my thoughts on tipping outside the US : I would say it has to do with a relationship with money and the power emanating from it. Tipping is not expected in most places; and doing it anyway clearly signal that you have some disposable wealth. You can afford to pay even more than the agreed upon price. There is some “bling” and nouveau-riche aspect to it that will leave people a weird feeling. For instance : Are you trying to bribe them? Do you think they are too poor to function without your patronage? Are the price/money here just a joke to you? And then, it become your edge. You are the guy or gal that pay extra. As opposed to be the funny/sexy/mysterious/resourceful person. AKA : El gringo, l’américain, l’americano. ( I’m one of you now, so I can say it :p ) Being seen that way might be a way to attract the wrong kind of company. I don’t know about casino and hazard games, my passion always has been the dives and the likes. But you do say something important about establishing contact first. That’s a great difference in my book. I still maintain that waving money around FIRST won’t help on the long run. Establishing rapport and discretely paying extra might, sometime, with some people. But being nice and aware of your environment might do just the same.
  - noduerme 4y ago
    Hah. I definitely would buy you a drink. Please see my post below (next to yours). I'm 42. I've lived in a lot of countries. I freaked out and fled America for twelve years after I wrote a novel about a rock band assassinating Dick Cheney during the start of the second Iraq war, and had my server attacked by military sites and my apartment broken into and police going through my trash can. In other countries, I probably, once in awhile, was mistaken for someone who tried to be nouveau-riche because I tipped too much...but I'm basically a working-class guy and I don't think most people thought of me that way if they got to know me. Maybe I am guilty of carrying over the American service industry mentality -- usually people who work/worked as waiters, bartenders or taxi drivers in America tip much more than other people, because we understand how difficult the job is. But of course, you are not trying to buy love with money ... you only show respect. If it is a situation where I feel that someone won't understand it (for example, in some place I've never been before in Vietnam), just the amount of tip that shows the right respect is better than some crazy American-size tip. Hopefully this makes sense. I should stop drinking and go eat. It's been a pleasure to talk ;) [edit] PS: I really enjoyed this term "social alcoholism". Did you ever go to Granada?
    - courgette 4y ago
      And I would reciprocate on that drink! I live in New Orleans those days, social alcoholism is a lifestyle there! I haven't been in Spain in a solid decade. I miss traveling and living in europe. It's so pleasant. To get back to the subject at hand, I think you gave enough context so I can understand your point. Thanks! It looks that the key is being ex-service industry, and now that you stated it... I do see that behavior of "service-industry hardcore solidarity thought tips" in friends here. > usually people who work/worked as waiters, bartenders or taxi drivers in America tip much more than other people, because we understand how difficult the job is. But of course, you are not trying to buy love with money. And I can sense the likability oozing out your messages.
      - noduerme 4y ago
        Good on you for moving to NOLA! It was my dream. Actually I still would love to live there. I think it's the only really European city in America. Scary, a little. (I live in Portland. it's hip, it's gentrified, it's terrible). So you know the service industry solidarity. I quit my waiting job in New York around 2004-5, took a train to New Orleans, started playing piano with a band, got a job as a busboy at Brennan's for a solid 2 weeks before losing all my money on poker and drinking myself almost to death... I found myself on Canal Street one morning at 5am, broke, and called my sister from a payphone to buy me a bus ticket to LA. Six months later the house I'd been staying in was destroyed by Katrina... Is it time to try again? I've always loved that city. I don't think I have the self-control.

noduerme 4y ago

mmmm... it depends on the country, and the style, so all of the things you say are true. Simply leaving a big tip means nothing. And being an asshole overrides everything - never a good idea. I am also a social alcoholic! Hi! But if you have established communication with your waiter / bartender / blackjack dealer, and you leave them some extra, it is much more appreciated outside the US. Especially if they see you more than a couple times. Whether you are young and attractive or not, although of course that helps. Does losing $5,000 alone on a blackjack table in Prague because you're depressed, and then smiling and tipping your dealer constitute visible distress? I can't say it's always a financially wise strategy.

courgette 4y ago
Hi, I’m sure you would constitute a great bar neighbor :) I just spend a few minute refining my thoughts on tipping outside the US : I would say it has to do with a relationship with money and the power emanating from it. Tipping is not expected in most places; and doing it anyway clearly signal that you have some disposable wealth. You can afford to pay even more than the agreed upon price. There is some “bling” and nouveau-riche aspect to it that will leave people a weird feeling. For instance : Are you trying to bribe them? Do you think they are too poor to function without your patronage? Are the price/money here just a joke to you? And then, it become your edge. You are the guy or gal that pay extra. As opposed to be the funny/sexy/mysterious/resourceful person. AKA : El gringo, l’américain, l’americano. ( I’m one of you now, so I can say it :p ) Being seen that way might be a way to attract the wrong kind of company. I don’t know about casino and hazard games, my passion always has been the dives and the likes. But you do say something important about establishing contact first. That’s a great difference in my book. I still maintain that waving money around FIRST won’t help on the long run. Establishing rapport and discretely paying extra might, sometime, with some people. But being nice and aware of your environment might do just the same.
- noduerme 4y ago
  Hah. I definitely would buy you a drink. Please see my post below (next to yours). I'm 42. I've lived in a lot of countries. I freaked out and fled America for twelve years after I wrote a novel about a rock band assassinating Dick Cheney during the start of the second Iraq war, and had my server attacked by military sites and my apartment broken into and police going through my trash can. In other countries, I probably, once in awhile, was mistaken for someone who tried to be nouveau-riche because I tipped too much...but I'm basically a working-class guy and I don't think most people thought of me that way if they got to know me. Maybe I am guilty of carrying over the American service industry mentality -- usually people who work/worked as waiters, bartenders or taxi drivers in America tip much more than other people, because we understand how difficult the job is. But of course, you are not trying to buy love with money ... you only show respect. If it is a situation where I feel that someone won't understand it (for example, in some place I've never been before in Vietnam), just the amount of tip that shows the right respect is better than some crazy American-size tip. Hopefully this makes sense. I should stop drinking and go eat. It's been a pleasure to talk ;) [edit] PS: I really enjoyed this term "social alcoholism". Did you ever go to Granada?
  - courgette 4y ago
    And I would reciprocate on that drink! I live in New Orleans those days, social alcoholism is a lifestyle there! I haven't been in Spain in a solid decade. I miss traveling and living in europe. It's so pleasant. To get back to the subject at hand, I think you gave enough context so I can understand your point. Thanks! It looks that the key is being ex-service industry, and now that you stated it... I do see that behavior of "service-industry hardcore solidarity thought tips" in friends here. > usually people who work/worked as waiters, bartenders or taxi drivers in America tip much more than other people, because we understand how difficult the job is. But of course, you are not trying to buy love with money. And I can sense the likability oozing out your messages.
    - noduerme 4y ago
      Good on you for moving to NOLA! It was my dream. Actually I still would love to live there. I think it's the only really European city in America. Scary, a little. (I live in Portland. it's hip, it's gentrified, it's terrible). So you know the service industry solidarity. I quit my waiting job in New York around 2004-5, took a train to New Orleans, started playing piano with a band, got a job as a busboy at Brennan's for a solid 2 weeks before losing all my money on poker and drinking myself almost to death... I found myself on Canal Street one morning at 5am, broke, and called my sister from a payphone to buy me a bus ticket to LA. Six months later the house I'd been staying in was destroyed by Katrina... Is it time to try again? I've always loved that city. I don't think I have the self-control.