3 ms·

Would have been better if we didn't have to hear about how great it was that she had three brothers. If she had three sisters into security I guess she would ha

Would have been better if we didn't have to hear about how great it was that she had three brothers. If she had three sisters into security I guess she would have been screwed?

yreg 4y ago
I also found the formulations off-putting, e.g. repeating how lucky it is for a girl to have brothers (emphasis on their gender). Or how they felt the need to explain specifically to the male readers why the sister was concerned by what's going on. I am a man and I would be scared shitless if some weirdo was breaking eggs on my car. The author probably just didn't realize this angle, I doubt he meant it in a bad way.
- Eisenstein 4y ago
  I am sure he didn't mean it in a bad way, but that doesn't mean that emphasis on gender like that isn't problematic. I specifically am referencing the multiple spots where it is highly implied that the brothers were there to rescue her and that she was completely naive otherwise and would have been helpless without them. The fact that they were in the business of online security was what specifically helped her, and the macho 'let's catch him!' antics hurt more than helped, and were generally dumb (which they acknowledge). The takeaway should have been 'she was luck to have people close to her that knew how to dox people online' and not 'she had three brothers who recklessly camp out at night in order to get into high speed pursuits.'
  - speg 4y ago
    Why do you have to neutralize them into ‘people close to her’? They are her brothers. Call it like it is. Every brother-sister relationship I’ve known is distinctly different than brother-brother or sister-sister relationships.
    - Eisenstein 4y ago
      The continued emphasis on 'luck' that she had 'brothers' was annoying to me, when that wasn't what was important about the relationship. My sisters have given me some great help over the years, but I don't emphasize how important it is that they are women unless that aspect was important to the help I received. Maybe I just don't like his writing style as a whole and this particular aspect jumps out at me, but the article would have been at least twice as good if it weren't so annoyingly emphatic about the gender thing in more than one way.
    - exclusiv 4y ago
      Agreed. Three sisters would not have gone this route and the police would likely have done nothing until after the stalking had escalated further. Also, 1 brother might not have attempted this either, especially considering the guy was a large creep and smart enough to wear a mask. Nor would a woman allow her sisters to go vigilante for her. These guys were quite restrained. I know families with 3 or more brothers and at least 1 sister. And for them, at best, the stalker would not be walking for awhile. Brothers can be protective, and enraged and activated in a different way. Not saying that's the best route for this situation or others. But in many cases, it IS the best solution. Stalking can escalate very quickly. Everyone that is like "oh they were so dumb" likely 1) doesn't understand that brother/sister dynamic, 2) hasn't had much experience with the police and/or 3) has never been violated by a stalker/home intruder/etc or very close with someone who has. I've helped get someone arrested and charged before. I had video of the man breaking into my neighbor's car. I confronted him with my neighbor in real-time. We got him out of the car and questioned him and checked to see if anything was stolen or damaged. We called the cops, they eventually showed up after the guy left. Asked me some questions and they tried to downplay it as a likely homeless person looking for place to nap which it clearly wasn't as I saw him going through the car. I'm talking with the cops and I see the man down the street. He never left the neighborhood. I tell the cops "there he is"! They keep asking me questions and I'm confused at their inaction. Yes he didn't take anything. But he entered the vehicle, was trespassing and going through the glovebox. Go question him! They respond slowly and head the man's way. They do nothing. Later that night, guy comes back and is seen by the neighbor from the car incident. He sees him attempt to break into the neighbors garage. Then succeeds in breaking into the house. Cops come and take it more serious. They clear the house and arrest the guy later down the street. I submitted evidence from the earlier incident and he was charged. Without any resolution, these criminals escalate. It's easy to say - don't confront criminals, call the police, it's their job and they're trained. But that's what people who haven't experienced these things or had to rely on the police say.

Would have been better if we didn't have to hear about how great it was that she had three brothers. If she had three sisters into security I guess she would have been screwed?

yreg 4y ago

I also found the formulations off-putting, e.g. repeating how lucky it is for a girl to have brothers (emphasis on their gender). Or how they felt the need to explain specifically to the male readers why the sister was concerned by what's going on. I am a man and I would be scared shitless if some weirdo was breaking eggs on my car. The author probably just didn't realize this angle, I doubt he meant it in a bad way.

Eisenstein 4y ago
I am sure he didn't mean it in a bad way, but that doesn't mean that emphasis on gender like that isn't problematic. I specifically am referencing the multiple spots where it is highly implied that the brothers were there to rescue her and that she was completely naive otherwise and would have been helpless without them. The fact that they were in the business of online security was what specifically helped her, and the macho 'let's catch him!' antics hurt more than helped, and were generally dumb (which they acknowledge). The takeaway should have been 'she was luck to have people close to her that knew how to dox people online' and not 'she had three brothers who recklessly camp out at night in order to get into high speed pursuits.'
- speg 4y ago
  Why do you have to neutralize them into ‘people close to her’? They are her brothers. Call it like it is. Every brother-sister relationship I’ve known is distinctly different than brother-brother or sister-sister relationships.
  - Eisenstein 4y ago
    The continued emphasis on 'luck' that she had 'brothers' was annoying to me, when that wasn't what was important about the relationship. My sisters have given me some great help over the years, but I don't emphasize how important it is that they are women unless that aspect was important to the help I received. Maybe I just don't like his writing style as a whole and this particular aspect jumps out at me, but the article would have been at least twice as good if it weren't so annoyingly emphatic about the gender thing in more than one way.
  - exclusiv 4y ago
    Agreed. Three sisters would not have gone this route and the police would likely have done nothing until after the stalking had escalated further. Also, 1 brother might not have attempted this either, especially considering the guy was a large creep and smart enough to wear a mask. Nor would a woman allow her sisters to go vigilante for her. These guys were quite restrained. I know families with 3 or more brothers and at least 1 sister. And for them, at best, the stalker would not be walking for awhile. Brothers can be protective, and enraged and activated in a different way. Not saying that's the best route for this situation or others. But in many cases, it IS the best solution. Stalking can escalate very quickly. Everyone that is like "oh they were so dumb" likely 1) doesn't understand that brother/sister dynamic, 2) hasn't had much experience with the police and/or 3) has never been violated by a stalker/home intruder/etc or very close with someone who has. I've helped get someone arrested and charged before. I had video of the man breaking into my neighbor's car. I confronted him with my neighbor in real-time. We got him out of the car and questioned him and checked to see if anything was stolen or damaged. We called the cops, they eventually showed up after the guy left. Asked me some questions and they tried to downplay it as a likely homeless person looking for place to nap which it clearly wasn't as I saw him going through the car. I'm talking with the cops and I see the man down the street. He never left the neighborhood. I tell the cops "there he is"! They keep asking me questions and I'm confused at their inaction. Yes he didn't take anything. But he entered the vehicle, was trespassing and going through the glovebox. Go question him! They respond slowly and head the man's way. They do nothing. Later that night, guy comes back and is seen by the neighbor from the car incident. He sees him attempt to break into the neighbors garage. Then succeeds in breaking into the house. Cops come and take it more serious. They clear the house and arrest the guy later down the street. I submitted evidence from the earlier incident and he was charged. Without any resolution, these criminals escalate. It's easy to say - don't confront criminals, call the police, it's their job and they're trained. But that's what people who haven't experienced these things or had to rely on the police say.