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> What doesn't work is telling people "it's not your fault" > trying to comfort people by blaming their problems on purely exterior sources These are not the
by asveikau 4y ago
> What doesn't work is telling people "it's not your fault"
> trying to comfort people by blaming their problems on purely exterior sources
These are not the same thing.
The former is literal truth. The latter hints at intention, blame, denial.
It's not their fault, but they can get through it. You can hold these two simultaneously.
- ethanbond 4y agoWhy is it not someone’s fault when they get addicted after choosing to do a known-addictive substance? “Not their fault” certainly doesn’t describe all addicts. They don’t need to be faultless to deserve compassion.
- asveikau 4y agoThe more life experience I have the more I conclude that assessing the existence and extent of someone's fault is a pointless exercise. People tend to exhaust enormous amounts of pointless energy stuck in that place. Your last sentence drives it home. They deserve compassion. Who cares about subjective assessment of fault once you reach that conclusion?
- ethanbond 4y agoLargely agreed. To your last point, people who believe having an internal locus of control is useful for preventing (not necessarily treating) addiction.