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Unless you have it you don't know what it feels like. This sort of generic advice is useless when you're awake in bed at 8:30 AM, still trying to sleep from las

Unless you have it you don't know what it feels like. This sort of generic advice is useless when you're awake in bed at 8:30 AM, still trying to sleep from last night but you can't because you can't physically stop yourself from doom scrolling on your phone. The only thing that really works is an unbreakable commitment device, make it so that the only thing you can do in any given situation is the right thing.

z3c0 4y ago
I do have it, so the rest of your highly presumptive comment became moot after the first sentence.
- ryloric 4y ago
  Everyone who doesn't have it talks about it more or less like the way you did, "oh... why don't they just learn to control it like me instead of having all these rules". My comment is highly presumptive because your comment was extremely stereotypical of people who make light of it, maybe stop using words like 'puritanical' when describing what works for other people. Your impairments might be light to non-existent, doesn't mean mine are.
  - z3c0 4y ago
    Once again, you're being presumptive. I have a rather severe case of ADHD co-morbid with PTSD, and nothing that I've stated as a solution is easy. If anything, it requires more discipline than simply cutting out temptations. You will need to learn to recognize when "it's time" and step away to re-calibrate. This requires knowing oneself and being transparent about your problems with others. The routes described prior are extremely puritanical, and if you don't see that, I am sorry that you are stuck wielding such repressive methods. They will be more of a detriment in the long run, as you realize that they do nothing to address your thought patterns. I am speaking from experience, as that doesn't seem to have been made clear.
    - Zircom 4y ago
      You guys can stop fighting. ADHD is an broad label for what is becoming increasingly obvious are separate conditions, and I think they are up to at least 2 different types and then a third with mixed symptoms of both. What works for someone else may not work for you and vice versa, that's okay, it doesn't have to turn into you two being condescending assholes to each other or accusing the other of faking ADHD. The question was how you personally deal with your ADHD and they answered with what they do personally to deal with their ADHD, stop shitting all over them and talking down to them for being on topic. If you wanna give constructive advice you can do without being a jerk about it.
      - z3c0 4y ago
        You lecturing anybody on being a condescending asshole is like the pot calling the kettle black. Any air of condescension in my tone never amounted to being retaliatory at most, as with this comment, so goodbye and consider your time wasted.
        Zircom 4y ago
        Time wasted would be an accurate assessment so I won't bother continuing this discussion, you have yourself a nice night and/or day.
    - ryloric 4y ago
      First, sorry. I was probably needlessly aggressive, I've heard similar words from everyone around me all my life and I may have assumed you were being similarly dismissive and gotten a bit angry. I'm not saying you have to use commitment devices forever, but it's a great starting point. When one is deep into their faulty harmful behaviors, it's hard to have the mental energy to practice mindfulness and take a step back and exercise any sort of control over one's impulses. Maybe nine of out of ten times you may be successful in practicing mindfulness, but commitment devices[0] help you prevent that 1/10 from blowing your entire day up(or even week), precisely because they don't depend on your mental state at all. They let you precommit and make good decision for your future self when you are in a good state of mind, so you won't completely spiral down when you're in a bad state of mind. It's just another tool in the toolbox for dealing with ADHD. [0] https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Commitment_device https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Commitment_device

z3c0 4y ago

I do have it, so the rest of your highly presumptive comment became moot after the first sentence.

ryloric 4y ago
Everyone who doesn't have it talks about it more or less like the way you did, "oh... why don't they just learn to control it like me instead of having all these rules". My comment is highly presumptive because your comment was extremely stereotypical of people who make light of it, maybe stop using words like 'puritanical' when describing what works for other people. Your impairments might be light to non-existent, doesn't mean mine are.
- z3c0 4y ago
  Once again, you're being presumptive. I have a rather severe case of ADHD co-morbid with PTSD, and nothing that I've stated as a solution is easy. If anything, it requires more discipline than simply cutting out temptations. You will need to learn to recognize when "it's time" and step away to re-calibrate. This requires knowing oneself and being transparent about your problems with others. The routes described prior are extremely puritanical, and if you don't see that, I am sorry that you are stuck wielding such repressive methods. They will be more of a detriment in the long run, as you realize that they do nothing to address your thought patterns. I am speaking from experience, as that doesn't seem to have been made clear.
  - Zircom 4y ago
    You guys can stop fighting. ADHD is an broad label for what is becoming increasingly obvious are separate conditions, and I think they are up to at least 2 different types and then a third with mixed symptoms of both. What works for someone else may not work for you and vice versa, that's okay, it doesn't have to turn into you two being condescending assholes to each other or accusing the other of faking ADHD. The question was how you personally deal with your ADHD and they answered with what they do personally to deal with their ADHD, stop shitting all over them and talking down to them for being on topic. If you wanna give constructive advice you can do without being a jerk about it.
    - z3c0 4y ago
      You lecturing anybody on being a condescending asshole is like the pot calling the kettle black. Any air of condescension in my tone never amounted to being retaliatory at most, as with this comment, so goodbye and consider your time wasted.
      - Zircom 4y ago
        Time wasted would be an accurate assessment so I won't bother continuing this discussion, you have yourself a nice night and/or day.
  - ryloric 4y ago
    First, sorry. I was probably needlessly aggressive, I've heard similar words from everyone around me all my life and I may have assumed you were being similarly dismissive and gotten a bit angry. I'm not saying you have to use commitment devices forever, but it's a great starting point. When one is deep into their faulty harmful behaviors, it's hard to have the mental energy to practice mindfulness and take a step back and exercise any sort of control over one's impulses. Maybe nine of out of ten times you may be successful in practicing mindfulness, but commitment devices[0] help you prevent that 1/10 from blowing your entire day up(or even week), precisely because they don't depend on your mental state at all. They let you precommit and make good decision for your future self when you are in a good state of mind, so you won't completely spiral down when you're in a bad state of mind. It's just another tool in the toolbox for dealing with ADHD. [0] https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Commitment_device https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Commitment_device