4 ms·
I think my point still applies to making friends. Someone has to put in the emotional and logistical effort to schedule a first "hey, let's get together outsid
by colanderman 4y ago
I think my point still applies to making friends. Someone has to put in the emotional and logistical effort to schedule a first "hey, let's get together outside of work/school" evening. That can be a big hurdle to clear. And then a second meetup. And a third... until you are actually "friends" and not "two randos with shared interest who tried to meet up once and it was awkward".
Finding potential friends, I agree with your advice. Following your own interests makes you an interesting and attractive person, and finding people who share your interests sets you up for healthy friendships.
- detrites 4y agoSure it can happen like that, but it's not the only way. No effort is required to begin a friendship that happens automatically. Both naturally organise a next meet, and/or already have reason to and/or happily can't avoid it. Relationships often begin at work/edu for this reason. The times I've been assertive and essentially built a connection out of what was nothing, it's been interesting, even exhilarating - but less reliably enduring. It's tended to be better to begin with a bigger "spark". And if that spark isn't enough to create a shared excitement that automatically leads to a next step, without requiring effort, it may mean it's not worth such effort. (Not always, though.)
- em-bee 4y agoit only happens organically if there is a reason to go to some place that is independent of that person. so going to the same club/gym/supermarket/activity/whatever where you frequently bump into each other, potentially aligning your schedule, but not creating a problem if one of you doesn't show up.