3 ms·

I think you have to genuinely take an interest in the other person and look for areas of commonality. That gives you ground to interact with the other person.

I think you have to genuinely take an interest in the other person and look for areas of commonality. That gives you ground to interact with the other person. Networking is complete bullshit because people who are highly social recognize potential areas for self-interest in relationship-building and any behavior that follows that path gets flagged subconsciously as disingenuous. Make friends and treat other people as you would like to be treated. There is also a need to communicate, in order to give the other person a sense of your investment in the relationship (as represented by your time, effort, and candor) and material with which to formulate substantive responses and reciprocate with their own time, effort, and candor. You have no control over how other people connect with you, and frankly, their opinion and feelings toward you are none of your business. Don't overtrain your behavior upon your perception of the progress of bonding. Just do what is right, fun, kind, and ethical. The rest falls into place.

incrudible 4y ago
Networking is about mutual professional interest, not about friendship. It is wise to keep both separate.
- totalZero 4y ago
  I don't think "networking" relationships have ever provided any benefit to my professional interests. In my view they're pointless, like an orange without juice in it. I haven't read the Ferrazzi book but my understanding is that he shuns networking to instead reframe the concept as "connecting," and this is more in line with my own viewpoint. I'd appreciate a better explanation of his viewpoint from someone who has read the book.
  - dmos62 4y ago
    I'm still reading it, but I think you've summed up his position on this question well. He goes out of his way to describe the networking he's promoting as a pro-social, as opposed to a manipulative, activity. His least social descriptions of relationships that I heard (which are still very social) are an asset that grows as you exercise it, something where you don't keep score, and something that is absolutely not a zero-sum game.

incrudible 4y ago

Networking is about mutual professional interest, not about friendship. It is wise to keep both separate.

totalZero 4y ago
I don't think "networking" relationships have ever provided any benefit to my professional interests. In my view they're pointless, like an orange without juice in it. I haven't read the Ferrazzi book but my understanding is that he shuns networking to instead reframe the concept as "connecting," and this is more in line with my own viewpoint. I'd appreciate a better explanation of his viewpoint from someone who has read the book.
- dmos62 4y ago
  I'm still reading it, but I think you've summed up his position on this question well. He goes out of his way to describe the networking he's promoting as a pro-social, as opposed to a manipulative, activity. His least social descriptions of relationships that I heard (which are still very social) are an asset that grows as you exercise it, something where you don't keep score, and something that is absolutely not a zero-sum game.