Calling it the Fermi "paradox" really seems like begging the question to me. You've got a theory ("this math says life should be common") which conflicts with

Calling it the Fermi "paradox" really seems like begging the question to me. You've got a theory ("this math says life should be common") which conflicts with observed reality ("we don't see shit!"). Is that a paradox? It seems more like an invalidation of the theory to me. The resolution to the "paradox" is realizing that something in your theory is wrong. What is the common refrain? If the facts don't fit the theory, then the theory is wrong! Isn't that the core essence of science? Empiricism is a repudiation of Platonic a priori reasoning. Beautiful and elegant theories that don't fit the facts are simply wrong.