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Love this question! My husband was laid off recently and it feels like his free time instead has been accosted by our young children and house renovation:/ Rel

Love this question! My husband was laid off recently and it feels like his free time instead has been accosted by our young children and house renovation:/ Related note, I came across this newsletter which goes into more detail about our “work” identity and how your employer doesn’t (to your point!) “care about you” (https://wokescientist.substack.com/p/work-life-balance-is-a-capitalist https://wokescientist.substack.com/p/work-life-balance-is-a-...)

yafbum 4y ago
Why the :/ ? Spending time with young children and renovating a house sounds like a smart choice. The time with children you will never be able to make up for later. Renovating a house is full of interesting challenges and rewards that are all to yourself.
- dismantlethesun 4y ago
  Chores, house projects and childcare are all productive work. As seen here, no outsiders will ever gainsay you for doing them. Pretty much the only person to criticise that approach will be a spouse. Romantic partners usually wish for more time to spend together, deepening the relationship or just hanging out. This isn't productive per se, but it's natural that your life partner would like to actually live a life with you and not see you checking off tasks at home.
ExxKA 4y ago
I would recommend that we rents a desk in a coworking space. Get out of the house every day, cause there's always more to do at home.
jl2718 4y ago
“Instead” of what? Is his true calling house renovations and childcare? If not, then it’s probably a choice that is being made for him. Personally, I love my babies and I consider it worth my time for basic care and teaching them things, but only as much as it benefits them. For the house renovations and all other labor that goes into partner-driven life, I would be much happier living in a mud hut with a candle and a math book, but I’ll never whisper a word about it. Its easy to become someone’s unlimited source of free labor, and they’ll always think they’re doing you a favor.
- biorach 4y ago
  > then it’s probably a choice that is being made for him It's pretty poor behaviour to make massive assumptions about and be judgmental of someone else's marriage

yafbum 4y ago

Why the :/ ? Spending time with young children and renovating a house sounds like a smart choice. The time with children you will never be able to make up for later. Renovating a house is full of interesting challenges and rewards that are all to yourself.

dismantlethesun 4y ago
Chores, house projects and childcare are all productive work. As seen here, no outsiders will ever gainsay you for doing them. Pretty much the only person to criticise that approach will be a spouse. Romantic partners usually wish for more time to spend together, deepening the relationship or just hanging out. This isn't productive per se, but it's natural that your life partner would like to actually live a life with you and not see you checking off tasks at home.

ExxKA 4y ago

I would recommend that we rents a desk in a coworking space. Get out of the house every day, cause there's always more to do at home.

jl2718 4y ago

“Instead” of what? Is his true calling house renovations and childcare? If not, then it’s probably a choice that is being made for him. Personally, I love my babies and I consider it worth my time for basic care and teaching them things, but only as much as it benefits them. For the house renovations and all other labor that goes into partner-driven life, I would be much happier living in a mud hut with a candle and a math book, but I’ll never whisper a word about it. Its easy to become someone’s unlimited source of free labor, and they’ll always think they’re doing you a favor.

biorach 4y ago
> then it’s probably a choice that is being made for him It's pretty poor behaviour to make massive assumptions about and be judgmental of someone else's marriage