4 ms·

Is it a good thing to ruin your life more than once? I'm still paying the price of not having a structured family (not my fault), not studying when I should, a

Is it a good thing to ruin your life more than once? I'm still paying the price of not having a structured family (not my fault), not studying when I should, and spending pretty much all my life until I was close to 30 yo doing mostly nothing of substance. It took me serious determination and hard work to close the gap. I did get my diplomas and stuff (and even chose the wrong degree for me), and still takes a toll on me. I'm 35 and I'm in a free self-paced bootcamp (because I need to work and sustain myself, and I can't just pay 8k to barely learn anything for six months, without income), doing what I have should done 15 years ago, which is programming/data/etc. Internally, I'm (kind of, not completely) in peace with my life, but mistakes do have a cost. Maybe if your family is rich or your mistake is a one-off then you can manage it without much of a problem, but fucking up your life can take very different forms. You pay not only with your income, but socially too. You really have to get good at selling snake oil for getting attention from girls for example, or befriending people who's above your income level, and so much more. So yeah, I don't think "ruining your life" is that fine.

fwipsy 4y ago
I took it as meaning "It's a good thing that it's possible to 'ruin your life' more than once because it means you survived the first time and have some experience for the second time." Not meaning "It's a good thing to ruin your life the second time." I think that heading was being unnecessarily clever in order to grab attention, but I don't think the article ever says it's a good thing to ruin your life, ever.
everyone 4y ago
I did also "nothing of substance" until I was almost 30 also.. But it's fine I dont regret it. I did what I wanted at the time and I enjoyed that part of my life. When I was approaching 30 I suddenly got these urges to get my life together and get a career, and I did, it was grand. I guess I am lucky and privileged, I did a free government course in programming and I loved it and that launched my career then.
- teh_klev 4y ago
  > I did also "nothing of substance" until I was almost 30 also.. But it's fine I dont regret it. Much the same here. I enjoyed the company of friends, read a load of stuff, had many adventures with a motorbike, beer and curry, lived in shared houses and worked in a crappy mundane easy-osy job as a field engineer. During this time I still maintained a fleeting interest in software development (I still read Byte, EXE, Dr Dobbs etc and fiddled with code). Then one day I tired of the easy going but not well paid lifestyle and wangled my way into a VC backed ISV to establish myself as a developer (though for a while - I took an 18 month break to work as a data centre engineer, which involved the build out a moderately sized site and an internet exchange point). And here I am on the wrong side of my mid 50's with very few regrets. Not no regrets because there are two or three (one is a relationship I really made a mess of, and succumbing to a very long period of anxiety disorder after my marriage exploded), but now I'm largely just fine.

fwipsy 4y ago

I took it as meaning "It's a good thing that it's possible to 'ruin your life' more than once because it means you survived the first time and have some experience for the second time." Not meaning "It's a good thing to ruin your life the second time." I think that heading was being unnecessarily clever in order to grab attention, but I don't think the article ever says it's a good thing to ruin your life, ever.

everyone 4y ago

I did also "nothing of substance" until I was almost 30 also.. But it's fine I dont regret it. I did what I wanted at the time and I enjoyed that part of my life. When I was approaching 30 I suddenly got these urges to get my life together and get a career, and I did, it was grand. I guess I am lucky and privileged, I did a free government course in programming and I loved it and that launched my career then.

teh_klev 4y ago
> I did also "nothing of substance" until I was almost 30 also.. But it's fine I dont regret it. Much the same here. I enjoyed the company of friends, read a load of stuff, had many adventures with a motorbike, beer and curry, lived in shared houses and worked in a crappy mundane easy-osy job as a field engineer. During this time I still maintained a fleeting interest in software development (I still read Byte, EXE, Dr Dobbs etc and fiddled with code). Then one day I tired of the easy going but not well paid lifestyle and wangled my way into a VC backed ISV to establish myself as a developer (though for a while - I took an 18 month break to work as a data centre engineer, which involved the build out a moderately sized site and an internet exchange point). And here I am on the wrong side of my mid 50's with very few regrets. Not no regrets because there are two or three (one is a relationship I really made a mess of, and succumbing to a very long period of anxiety disorder after my marriage exploded), but now I'm largely just fine.