15 ms·

Why is this women’s fault somehow?

by zwkrt 4y ago

slingnow 4y ago
Why do you assume OP was blaming women? Nothing they said implies blame.
Cuuugi 4y ago
Noone passed blame, simply noting the sexual revolution has made STD's more common-place.
sbaiddn 4y ago
How do you infer that op is blaming women? They merely stated a fact and didn't assign any blame.
- Avshalom 4y ago
  >" median age of female's first marriage "
  - Volundr 4y ago
    The mere mention of a statistic involving a gender does not blame that gender. The point of noting the increase in marriage age is to point out that presumably the number of sexual partners increase as well, which can lead to more spread. Presumably women having more sexual partners ALSO means men having more, it takes two to tango and all that. That said I had initially assumed that the reason for using women specifically was probably that the male median age didn't increase in the same time-frame, but it looks like it's pretty much been in lockstep (https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/visualizations/time-series/demo/families-and-households/ms-2.pdf https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/visualizat...) so it's an odd choice to not just mention the median age of marriage instead of women specifically.
    - acdha 4y ago
      I think that phrasing can reasonably be interpreted as critical: it sounds like it’s saying it’s somehow women’s responsibility and that dovetails with the very common cultural trope of assuming that men are irresponsible horndogs who can’t be expected to control ourselves. I don’t know if OP comes from that background but it’s common, especially in strongly religious communities where you have the “Eve tempted Adam into sin” mythos.
  - sbaiddn 4y ago
    That's a statement of fact that is either true or not. It is not a statement of culpability in anyway. Men are pigs (see that's a fact and an example of a moral judgement), and are almost exclusively to blame for the spread of STDs. Doesn't change the fact changing female sexual norms change sexual network connectivness and therefore how STDs spread
- Someone 4y ago
  I think the OP indirectly does that. They chose to say “The median age of female's first marriage was less than 22 for 100 years and rose to 28 in the last few decades” and not “The median age of male's first marriage was less than 26 for 100 years and rose to 30 in the last few decades” or the neutral “The median age of first marriage was more or less stable for 100 years and rose by about 6 years in the last few decades”
  - sbaiddn 4y ago
    How about we judge people for what they say and not what we fantasize they meant to say? Judging others based on what we feel they really meant to say is a very dangerous course.
    - acdha 4y ago
      They’re being judged by what they actually said. They could have picked a neutral statement but choosing to focus on only half of the people involved was an editorial choice which is reasonable to question.
  - devmunchies 4y ago
    Well, even if "they both rose about 6 years", they aren't actually the same. I chose the lowest for a reason, since it shows a bigger shift in relative terms. Going from 22-28 is bigger percentage gain than 24-30. It actually is the more impactful number which was relevant to my original point (people are staying in the dating pool for a longer % of their life)
    - Someone 4y ago
      > It actually is the more impactful number which was relevant to my original point (people are staying in the dating pool for a longer % of their life) You may have had that point in your mind, but by choosing to only mention the numbers for women, the point you made was “women are staying in the dating pool for a longer % of their life”.
devmunchies 4y ago
I chose women because it was the younger age and assumed it was more relevant to taking half the population out of the dating pool, which was my main point. All these comments assuming it was some crack at women are wound too tight.

Why is this women’s fault somehow?

by zwkrt 4y ago

Why is this women’s fault somehow?

slingnow 4y ago

Why do you assume OP was blaming women? Nothing they said implies blame.

Cuuugi 4y ago

Noone passed blame, simply noting the sexual revolution has made STD's more common-place.

sbaiddn 4y ago

How do you infer that op is blaming women? They merely stated a fact and didn't assign any blame.

Avshalom 4y ago
>" median age of female's first marriage "
- Volundr 4y ago
  The mere mention of a statistic involving a gender does not blame that gender. The point of noting the increase in marriage age is to point out that presumably the number of sexual partners increase as well, which can lead to more spread. Presumably women having more sexual partners ALSO means men having more, it takes two to tango and all that. That said I had initially assumed that the reason for using women specifically was probably that the male median age didn't increase in the same time-frame, but it looks like it's pretty much been in lockstep (https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/visualizations/time-series/demo/families-and-households/ms-2.pdf https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/visualizat...) so it's an odd choice to not just mention the median age of marriage instead of women specifically.
  - acdha 4y ago
    I think that phrasing can reasonably be interpreted as critical: it sounds like it’s saying it’s somehow women’s responsibility and that dovetails with the very common cultural trope of assuming that men are irresponsible horndogs who can’t be expected to control ourselves. I don’t know if OP comes from that background but it’s common, especially in strongly religious communities where you have the “Eve tempted Adam into sin” mythos.
- sbaiddn 4y ago
  That's a statement of fact that is either true or not. It is not a statement of culpability in anyway. Men are pigs (see that's a fact and an example of a moral judgement), and are almost exclusively to blame for the spread of STDs. Doesn't change the fact changing female sexual norms change sexual network connectivness and therefore how STDs spread
Someone 4y ago
I think the OP indirectly does that. They chose to say “The median age of female's first marriage was less than 22 for 100 years and rose to 28 in the last few decades” and not “The median age of male's first marriage was less than 26 for 100 years and rose to 30 in the last few decades” or the neutral “The median age of first marriage was more or less stable for 100 years and rose by about 6 years in the last few decades”
- sbaiddn 4y ago
  How about we judge people for what they say and not what we fantasize they meant to say? Judging others based on what we feel they really meant to say is a very dangerous course.
  - acdha 4y ago
    They’re being judged by what they actually said. They could have picked a neutral statement but choosing to focus on only half of the people involved was an editorial choice which is reasonable to question.
- devmunchies 4y ago
  Well, even if "they both rose about 6 years", they aren't actually the same. I chose the lowest for a reason, since it shows a bigger shift in relative terms. Going from 22-28 is bigger percentage gain than 24-30. It actually is the more impactful number which was relevant to my original point (people are staying in the dating pool for a longer % of their life)
  - Someone 4y ago
    > It actually is the more impactful number which was relevant to my original point (people are staying in the dating pool for a longer % of their life) You may have had that point in your mind, but by choosing to only mention the numbers for women, the point you made was “women are staying in the dating pool for a longer % of their life”.

devmunchies 4y ago

I chose women because it was the younger age and assumed it was more relevant to taking half the population out of the dating pool, which was my main point. All these comments assuming it was some crack at women are wound too tight.