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I've noticed the same as well. My main hypothesis is that parties are just less interesting to all concerned because they're not that novel, and often just retr
by nlnn 4y ago
I've noticed the same as well. My main hypothesis is that parties are just less interesting to all concerned because they're not that novel, and often just retreading old ground.
When you're younger, parties are full of new experiences, lives are often changing rapidly (e.g. jobs/relationships/homes), so parties feel like a worthwhile way to spend time.
As people get older and get more settled, then parties often feel similar to rewatching the same movie over and over (sure it's a great movie, but you'll never recreate the experience of seeing it for the first time). Often less is happening in people's lives too ("How's the job?" "Good, same. How's the house?" "Good, got a new sofa. How are the kids?" "Good, difficult as usual.").
Free time also seems to be more of a premium for me and my friends (as work responsibilities grow, kids take time, need lifts, etc.), so events like parties need to be worthwhile enough to give up other things for.
One way that I approach it is to think of what it is I'm be trying to get out of a party. Meeting new people? There are other approaches for that. Keeping in touch with friends? Smaller gatherings or individual catchups work better.
I.e. rather than trying to recreate my idea of what a party should be, I try to break it into individual apsects that I'm looking for, then try to achieve those using simpler/smaller alternatives, instead of looking to a single party event to provide them all.
- fnordpiglet 4y agoI find parties that revolve around a common interest work better than “come and speak drunk at me” events. Board games, painting miniatures, LAN games (which is basically just online games in the same room), or if you’re one of the normals watching a sportsball event, dvd watching night, or if you have kids inviting other kids over with their parents. I imagine people without kids start having a really hard time. Parents with kids aren’t going to come to their “come and speak drunk at me” parties - it’s inappropriate for everyone, and baby sitters make more than tech CEOs these days. Those parents have tons of parties when their kids are playing together. And given the biological imperative to perpetuate the species, at a certain age an awful lot of folks are parents. The “come and speak drunk at me” folks sometimes end up in recovery and can’t be at the “speak drunk at me” parties any more. That an folks just get busy, form their own social network, are traveling for work too much, and all the other things, leads to a lonely existence if you need people to come and speak drunk at you.
- nlnn 4y agoYup, that's exactly the sort of thing I was thinking. Having a narrow focus means friends know exactly what they're going to get out of the evening, which makes it easier for them to decide whether to attend or not. Same goes for me too, if a friend invites me over for board games, great, I'm up for that. If a friend invites me over for a general hang out, that could mean the even goes in any number of directions, some of which I'd be less interested in (e.g. heavy drinking, watching sports), so I'd be less likely to attend.
- mixmastamyk 4y agoAlso to hook. Beware folks, never happened once in hundreds of parties I went to. Met others (that stuck around) at school, work, online dating... never a party or bar. Wish I had most of that time back now.
- mixmastamyk 4y ago^up, must have been deleted in an edit.