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Well, there's https://twitter.com/defconparties https://twitter.com/defconparties of course. I just spent a good amount of time talking to a therapist (first t

Well, there's https://twitter.com/defconparties https://twitter.com/defconparties of course. I just spent a good amount of time talking to a therapist (first time) about how painfully lonely I am. I moved to the countryside because the city was too unaffordable but friends I used to see a couple times a month are now a couple times a year. And I just had my 40th where my wife invited one of her friends (another couple with kids) and it was nice, but it wasn't "my" friends, if that makes sense. My days are wake up - get kids ready for school - work - come home and basically work nonstop dealing with kids (I love them but fuck they're a lot of work), pass out, maybe text an old friend or two, most of whom also had kids recently. I suppose after your 30's anymore life is just lonely. Maybe it'll pick up again in a decade or so when I'm not getting summoned to wipe a kid's butt or screamed at because I used the wrong cup or plate but it doesn't really feel like it. I'm hoping to at least move to a walkable city again. Leaving was a huge mistake I bitterly regret.

pnathan 4y ago
> Maybe it'll pick up again in a decade or so when I'm not getting summoned to wipe a kid's butt or screamed at because I used the wrong cup or plate but it doesn't really feel like when it's this time of life, this part really sucks.
Humdeee 4y ago
Your first sentence about loneliness hurts to read. I'd immediately have a few beers with any friend if I knew they were feeling this way, just to talk, vent, whatever. I hope things look up for you.
- CalRobert 4y ago
  Thank you. I am hoping it gets easier when my kids are older and I live somewhere that's less isolating.
splatzone 4y ago
I'm sorry to hear that, if it's any consolation I've deal with loneliness a lot too. I've decided to throw myself into new hobbies this year to try to remedy that. I hope things get better for you
jamal-kumar 4y ago
I love sneaking into defcon and blackhat. They let me in with a coffee cup lid on some lanyard I had in 2019, I just dressed like a federal agent and took off my sunglasses aggressively and made eye contact to divert the goon's gaze from the extremely fake badge upon entry. It's a real shame they took away the contest for fake badges but there's a bunch of us who make a point of getting away with it still. I really just go for partycon though
- CalRobert 4y ago
  I like it, but it's not what it used to be. A (friend? acquaintance?) of mine has a wife from PRC and is basically a troll, wore a costume PRC police outfit to a talk about the PRC circa 2016 and got quite a bit of side-eye. But still, it suited the general ethos.

pnathan 4y ago

> Maybe it'll pick up again in a decade or so when I'm not getting summoned to wipe a kid's butt or screamed at because I used the wrong cup or plate but it doesn't really feel like when it's this time of life, this part really sucks.

Humdeee 4y ago

Your first sentence about loneliness hurts to read. I'd immediately have a few beers with any friend if I knew they were feeling this way, just to talk, vent, whatever. I hope things look up for you.

CalRobert 4y ago
Thank you. I am hoping it gets easier when my kids are older and I live somewhere that's less isolating.

splatzone 4y ago

I'm sorry to hear that, if it's any consolation I've deal with loneliness a lot too. I've decided to throw myself into new hobbies this year to try to remedy that. I hope things get better for you

jamal-kumar 4y ago

I love sneaking into defcon and blackhat. They let me in with a coffee cup lid on some lanyard I had in 2019, I just dressed like a federal agent and took off my sunglasses aggressively and made eye contact to divert the goon's gaze from the extremely fake badge upon entry. It's a real shame they took away the contest for fake badges but there's a bunch of us who make a point of getting away with it still. I really just go for partycon though

CalRobert 4y ago
I like it, but it's not what it used to be. A (friend? acquaintance?) of mine has a wife from PRC and is basically a troll, wore a costume PRC police outfit to a talk about the PRC circa 2016 and got quite a bit of side-eye. But still, it suited the general ethos.