I feel the 19th century societal norms (as documented by Austen and Tolstoy etc) are often derided and laughed at for their formalism and rigidness, but while r

I feel the 19th century societal norms (as documented by Austen and Tolstoy etc) are often derided and laughed at for their formalism and rigidness, but while recognizing the many problems there I do also see lot of upsides too. I wonder if we could apply something from that without having those downsides.