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Have you personally overcome imposter syndrome through this advice? Because it sounds to me like a theoretical take, not one that has been well tested. The peo

Have you personally overcome imposter syndrome through this advice? Because it sounds to me like a theoretical take, not one that has been well tested. The people I know who are or have been overly self critical are not lacking in "objective facts". They have been damaged by dealing extensively with people who are overly critical, often to the point of emotional abuse. So they have problems with selecting which facts to focus on and how to weight them emotionally. These are often not conscious problems, and so getting out of them doesn't just require rational-mind realizations, but changing deep habits of thought. I also am very concerned about this, which I think is potentially harmful to some people, especially those struggling with self esteem: > For most of us, to love ourselves means we should be aspiring to something better, and not content with how we are now. I think this could easily be read as meaning that aspiration is a precondition of self love. For people who have been told from their earliest memories that they are inadequate, tying self-love to self-improvement puts them on a treadmill that never stops. Love does not require improvement or perfection.

five82 4y ago
As someone who’s dealt with emotional abuse, this really struck a chord. You can see and understand the objective facts. But it’s very hard to accept positive reinforcement emotionally. You don’t believe it’s genuine.
jkingsbery 4y ago
> Have you personally overcome imposter syndrome through this advice? Yes, this is personally what I do. > I think this could easily be read as meaning that aspiration is a precondition of self love. I suppose I could have been more clear. Aspirations need not be professional, they could be moral, relationship based, experiential, etc. You're right that if we say "I can only love myself when I'm better" means you never will be happy with yourself, and that's not what I'm trying to say. But one of my favorite definitions of the word "love" is to will and act for the good of someone - and if you aren't doing something to make yourself or your life better in some way, then you are not acting with love to yourself. On the flip side, saying "Yeah, everything is great" is not actually making things better (and at the same time, neither is saying "everything is horrible").

five82 4y ago

As someone who’s dealt with emotional abuse, this really struck a chord. You can see and understand the objective facts. But it’s very hard to accept positive reinforcement emotionally. You don’t believe it’s genuine.

jkingsbery 4y ago

> Have you personally overcome imposter syndrome through this advice? Yes, this is personally what I do. > I think this could easily be read as meaning that aspiration is a precondition of self love. I suppose I could have been more clear. Aspirations need not be professional, they could be moral, relationship based, experiential, etc. You're right that if we say "I can only love myself when I'm better" means you never will be happy with yourself, and that's not what I'm trying to say. But one of my favorite definitions of the word "love" is to will and act for the good of someone - and if you aren't doing something to make yourself or your life better in some way, then you are not acting with love to yourself. On the flip side, saying "Yeah, everything is great" is not actually making things better (and at the same time, neither is saying "everything is horrible").