This one really irks me for a couple of reasons. My wife and I have a friend whose partner is pretty despicable person. He didn't used to be before they got kid

This one really irks me for a couple of reasons. My wife and I have a friend whose partner is pretty despicable person. He didn't used to be before they got kids and kind of evolved into what he is now. First, with couples in long relationships who they are now tells you little about who they were when they met and why they are still together. Second, you have no idea what their relationship is like. You can't tell at a dinner party if they value the things you value in their partner or are bothered by same things. Nobody gets a perfect specimen matching their desires and needs including my wife.