3 ms·

I'm on 6 services. It hasn't been different on any of them. The odds that all 6 have the same bug seems unlikely.

• mikrotikker 4y ago
  Try dating websites. The apps seem like cancer.
  • Beaver117 4y ago
    Are there any still? Seems like the apps have killed them off
    • roarcher 4y ago
      All the websites I'm aware of have app counterparts now. I suspect he's talking about the ones that didn't start off as apps and allow more detailed profiles, like Match and EHarmony. And yes, they're pretty much dead. Match is somewhat viable but far less active than it was five years ago. EHarmony is extremely expensive and almost completely dead. There are maybe a dozen new sign ups per day in my entire state, and most of the profiles are dead and can't see or send messages because people balked when they saw the price, which isn't shown until you complete the (rather lengthy) personality questionnaire. On top of all that, they're all slowly changing to the swipe mechanics of Tinder and the like. Personally I hate that model, but apparently it's "won".
• alach11 4y ago
  The problem is almost certainly that your profile is bad. I'm happy to provide feedback, or you can check out some of the subreddits where people provide tips.
  • bradlys 4y ago
    Could also just be ugly or average looking. The truth is that most men get nothing from dating services. It’s only the top few percent of men who are getting substantial attention. Even then - of the friends I know who are getting some attention, they say it’s a huge mental drain because they have to be a jester to entertain so many women in order to get anywhere. These are above average men but not very good looking men. The good looking men don’t even have to try - the mental effort is low.
• selestify 4y ago
  I had the same problem as you. I had the same reaction to this post. It sucks man. Dating apps were not good for my mental health, so I got off them before I could become a bitter person. I eventually found a gf outside of the apps, entirely by chance. I still do not see how I could’ve found her aside from pure random chance, so unfortunately that doesn’t help you at all.
  • MajorBee 4y ago
    The more you put yourself in social settings (online, offline, whatever), the more you increase the surface area for finding someone through "pure random chance". Just adding a more optimistic bent to things.
    • somebodythere 4y ago
      Exactly, dating apps are just one tool in the toolbox, and one that doesn't work well for a lot of people at that (in my experience, the types of people that I would be interested in dating generally aren't on dating apps, so I stopped using them.) The trick is to find out where you're likely to meet the types of people you are interested in: interest groups, college campus, gaming Discords, climbing gym, etc. I think in dating, diversification is key, because the types of people you will find in any given environment can be highly autocorrelated in terms of preferences and personality. The other trick is to actually flirt with people when you like someone. A minority of people might not take it well, but it actually brightens a lot of people's days when done respectfully and it's the only way to have a chance at getting somewhere.
      • selestify 4y ago
        You’re right. As a hetero man, I was not doing activities that included many women. But I still don’t know what I could’ve done differently, because doing activities involving women that I don’t enjoy, so that I can be on the lookout for potential dates… doesn’t seem very enjoyable, and also seems a bit creepy. On the other hand, going to activities I don’t enjoy and not looking for dates seems rather pointless.