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I was "laid off" from a job a few months ago. I put "laid off" in quotes because I'm reasonably certain that they were just being nice and didn't want to tarni

I was "laid off" from a job a few months ago. I put "laid off" in quotes because I'm reasonably certain that they were just being nice and didn't want to tarnish my resume more than they had to. By all accounts I was most certainly fired. [1] I had a pretty bad attitude and had trouble focusing on work. I thought it was depression, and that's probably a factor of it, but having been unemployed for the last three months now, I think I was just going through a really bad case of burnout. I didn't really want to do anything productive, I just felt bad, and as a result I was missing deadlines and not doing terribly well, and eventually they decided to let me go. They told me it was budget cuts, but I think that might have been more of a catalyst than a cause, and this was depressing because by all accounts this was the best job I'd ever had. If anyone's reading this, take burnout (and depression) seriously. I lost a great job because I didn't. [1] I'm reasonably confident you could figure out which company I'm talking about with some searching, but I politely ask that you don't post it here if you do.

kerpotgh 4y ago
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kyleyeats 4y ago
Did you get better? I had a big quit burnout a few years ago. Or so I thought. If it doesn't get better after you quit, it's not burnout. Mine was a health issue.
- tombert 4y ago
  Well I don't have another job yet so it's tough to say for sure, but I think? I don't really have the same "fuck everything" attitude right now. EDIT: Out of curiosity, and feel free to not answer if this is too personal...what was the health issue?
  - kyleyeats 4y ago
    I have hemochromatosis, or iron overload. It's not a great pairing with famous free cafeteria food. I never even figured it out on my own, just got lucky with a family member's diagnosis.
    - brooksbp 4y ago
      You burnt out because you ate too much free food?
      - kyleyeats 4y ago
        It's a long story but that's a good summary of the penultimate chapter.
vanilla_nut 4y ago
I experienced something similar recently. In my case, I quit after some unpleasant exchanges with management that were an indirect result of burnout and a difficult work environment. I would absolutely agree that folks should take burnout (and depression) seriously. However, please stop blaming yourself entirely for the burnout. It's OK to take some responsibility for not being productive, of course -- any good person would do that in your shoes! But it's your manager's responsibility to give you a productive work environment. If they don't directly contribute output, that's effectively their only responsibility. So keep in mind that you don't exist in a vacuum, and your boss could almost certainly tell that something was wrong... so unless you are very, very, very good at hiding burnout and depression symptoms, they knew what was going on and didn't fix it. Maybe your problems were too significant for a manager to meaningfully deal with (they're not a psychologist, after all), but if they didn't try to help, that's on them. Not you.
- tombert 4y ago
  To be 100% fair to them they did let me know, and my manager did try and work with me.
  - adave 4y ago
    Without fully knowing your situation and guessing your company, i am thinking your were managed out i.e quietly fired.Managers use tactics to burn you out unintentionally so its you who gives up and your work suffers. This is done so as to gather enough evidence and reduce risk for the company. If you happen to record your conversations, take it to a pro and they can tell by the tone of the voice of your manager if they were saying the right things but actually instilling learned helplessness or other such tricks.
    - tombert 4y ago
      I didn't record the conversations, but I'm pretty sure that that wasn't the case. I got the impression that they, at least initially, were trying to work with me. I mean, these things happen, I'm a little annoyed at myself but I just gotta keep moving forward.
mathgladiator 4y ago
> I had a pretty bad attitude and had trouble focusing on work. I thought it was depression, and that's probably a factor of it, but having been unemployed for the last three months now, I think I was just going through a really bad case of burnout. This relates to what happened where I was working, and cynicism crept in.
mylons 4y ago
i think you should question the validity of your statement, “I lost a great job..” what was so great about this job? since you likely departed from a big tech company I assume the compensation was most or all of the reasons you thought it was great. you probably wouldn’t get burnt out doing something at a great job imo.
- tombert 4y ago
  It did pay well, but it also was fairly interesting work with a lot of room for exploration and growth. Maybe I’m just frustrated and looking back with rose colored glasses.
  - mylons 4y ago
    as someone who’s been in your position my intuition is the rose colored glasses view as well. i don’t know the situation exactly, of course. there are other excellent jobs out there. you are not your job. good luck with wherever this change takes you!
    - tombert 4y ago
      Oh I know; I think I came off as more somber than I intended to; I'm really not depressed about it or anything. I'm sure I'll find another decent job soon enough. I appreciate the kind words though!
      - Shorn 4y ago
        Ignoring pride/ego or other issues (i.e. how would you actually go about doing it, HR issues, company receptiveness, etc.) - would you go back? If not, what would have to change for you to go back?
        tombert 4y ago
        If they offered my position back to me tomorrow, I would take it in a heartbeat.

kerpotgh 4y ago

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kyleyeats 4y ago

Did you get better? I had a big quit burnout a few years ago. Or so I thought. If it doesn't get better after you quit, it's not burnout. Mine was a health issue.

tombert 4y ago
Well I don't have another job yet so it's tough to say for sure, but I think? I don't really have the same "fuck everything" attitude right now. EDIT: Out of curiosity, and feel free to not answer if this is too personal...what was the health issue?
- kyleyeats 4y ago
  I have hemochromatosis, or iron overload. It's not a great pairing with famous free cafeteria food. I never even figured it out on my own, just got lucky with a family member's diagnosis.
  - brooksbp 4y ago
    You burnt out because you ate too much free food?
    - kyleyeats 4y ago
      It's a long story but that's a good summary of the penultimate chapter.

vanilla_nut 4y ago

I experienced something similar recently. In my case, I quit after some unpleasant exchanges with management that were an indirect result of burnout and a difficult work environment. I would absolutely agree that folks should take burnout (and depression) seriously. However, please stop blaming yourself entirely for the burnout. It's OK to take some responsibility for not being productive, of course -- any good person would do that in your shoes! But it's your manager's responsibility to give you a productive work environment. If they don't directly contribute output, that's effectively their only responsibility. So keep in mind that you don't exist in a vacuum, and your boss could almost certainly tell that something was wrong... so unless you are very, very, very good at hiding burnout and depression symptoms, they knew what was going on and didn't fix it. Maybe your problems were too significant for a manager to meaningfully deal with (they're not a psychologist, after all), but if they didn't try to help, that's on them. Not you.

tombert 4y ago
To be 100% fair to them they did let me know, and my manager did try and work with me.
- adave 4y ago
  Without fully knowing your situation and guessing your company, i am thinking your were managed out i.e quietly fired.Managers use tactics to burn you out unintentionally so its you who gives up and your work suffers. This is done so as to gather enough evidence and reduce risk for the company. If you happen to record your conversations, take it to a pro and they can tell by the tone of the voice of your manager if they were saying the right things but actually instilling learned helplessness or other such tricks.
  - tombert 4y ago
    I didn't record the conversations, but I'm pretty sure that that wasn't the case. I got the impression that they, at least initially, were trying to work with me. I mean, these things happen, I'm a little annoyed at myself but I just gotta keep moving forward.

mathgladiator 4y ago

> I had a pretty bad attitude and had trouble focusing on work. I thought it was depression, and that's probably a factor of it, but having been unemployed for the last three months now, I think I was just going through a really bad case of burnout. This relates to what happened where I was working, and cynicism crept in.

mylons 4y ago

i think you should question the validity of your statement, “I lost a great job..” what was so great about this job? since you likely departed from a big tech company I assume the compensation was most or all of the reasons you thought it was great. you probably wouldn’t get burnt out doing something at a great job imo.

tombert 4y ago
It did pay well, but it also was fairly interesting work with a lot of room for exploration and growth. Maybe I’m just frustrated and looking back with rose colored glasses.
- mylons 4y ago
  as someone who’s been in your position my intuition is the rose colored glasses view as well. i don’t know the situation exactly, of course. there are other excellent jobs out there. you are not your job. good luck with wherever this change takes you!
  - tombert 4y ago
    Oh I know; I think I came off as more somber than I intended to; I'm really not depressed about it or anything. I'm sure I'll find another decent job soon enough. I appreciate the kind words though!
    - Shorn 4y ago
      Ignoring pride/ego or other issues (i.e. how would you actually go about doing it, HR issues, company receptiveness, etc.) - would you go back? If not, what would have to change for you to go back?
      - tombert 4y ago
        If they offered my position back to me tomorrow, I would take it in a heartbeat.